Is it normal for parents to go to their kids as counselors?

I find it inappropriate that they've done this for so long. You are their children. You look to them for guidance and support. I'm not saying a persons children can't be a support system. BUT, they're dumping their problems on you. That's wrong. Unfortunately, if it were me, I'd tell them that I can't take it anymore and won't be responding to calls, texts or etc unless they get help OUTSIDE of the family. I wouldn't even visit them. That's just what I'd do. Good luck :S

Unless the talk is constructive, simply say you do not want to hear it.

If it has gone on for over 20 years, your brother must only have been 7 and you 3, when they first came to you as counsellors.  How did you cope as such young children?

It's common, but it isn't the right thing to do. She's putting you in the middle of their private problems, and you have no power to help either one of them. She seems to have no understanding of how much this hurts her children.

No matter how badly your parents react, you have to make the commitment to stop listening to their complaints. Both of you need to tell your mom that you love her, but you don't want to hear about her fights with your Dad.  Tell her if she continues to talk about it you'll hang up or block the text. Seriously, she can dump her problems on strangers, it would be better for your mental health. Keep sending her information about personal counseling, it's never too late for her to face her own reality. They don't need to go to counseling as a couple, but you need to get her to talk to a professional so she'll leave you alone. You're the only one who can stop her from dumping on you. You have to say "No" and mean it.

It is not normal for parents to go to their kids as counselors, but if you and your brother have always been available to go to whenever they have a fight, then she will continue doing so. Basically you are aiding and abetting your mother by always listening to the problems she has with your dad. What do you do now?...it is time to back off and put some space between your mom and you two as her sons, so you can live your life in peace and whatever happens between them happens. You gave them good advice about going to counseling and she refused it. Now, it's time for things to either work or time for divorce. Offer no more advice and start saying no more often to your mom when she wants to bring her problems to you or wants to hang out with you so she can get a break from your dad. You might need counseling yourself to learn how to say no and how to live your own life. She is an adult and it is time to cut the parental strings and let her live like an adult should.

It's common but not "normal". You come from a dysfunctional family. You and your brother should sit both your parents down and tell them that they need to go see a marriage counselor. Remind them that you're both far too close to the situation to be of any real assistance in teaching them how to communicate better.

It is abnormal and bizarre for them to use their own children as counselors.