My adult son is trying to move his younger half brother in my home. What do I do?

Question

My adult son lives with me, in college full time and working full time. My son splits the bills with me, and im fine with that until he moves. His half brother is mad because he gives his mom money to help out with the bills and he complains he's broke afterwards, but he doesn't work and is not trying to find a job. Hes 19 and receives child support payments from his dad. His mom and her husband isn't teaching him any responsibility  and his mom is constantly on him and his payments he receives. So now he doesn't want to live with his mom anymore and wants to stay with me and my son. My son wants to help him so he can start being responsible for himself and independent, but I feel I'm going to be the one left to help him. His mom isn't telling him to come home, either. My boyfriend said im too nice and I don't put my feet down enough to enforce anything going in in my home. I need help, what to do?

Sonya · Answer

Tif I were you I’d let him move in under the condition that he finds a job and contributes. If he doesn’t find a job, he doesn’t move in

Pearl · Answer

just tell him he cant if you dont want him to

Anonymous · Answer

Based on your posting children you have more problems with your family - extended and otherwise - than any other living person.  It's your house.  You pick who lives there and who does not.  It's just that simple.  If you think your condo is upset now about the number of vehicles (commercial and non-commercial) parked at the condo site, wait until this person moves in!

y · Answer

I disagree with an adult child, going to college, and paying rent.  But to each his own. If this other kid moves in, have a written contract for amount of rent and expectations and such, so everyone is on the same page as to what will happen. When they hang around and smoke dope all day as opposed to working. One of the conditions will be to have a job or go to college.

Anonymous · Answer

Your boyfriend is right.  If you let this "half-brother" live with you, it will be a recipe for disaster. He may start to contribute money but I envision him gradually decreasing the amount until he's no longer contributing. This kid isn't your responsibility.  If your son wants to help him, then he can move out and invite the half-brother to move in with him.

Anonymous · Answer

It'd be a kind act, but if he moved in, you could make some house rules like chores for him until he gets a job. If he does move in, then make sure he learns responsibility and if he doesn't agree with it, he can leave. On the other hand, if you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't allow it. You have no obligation to him, so it's really just about being able to handle and teach him responsibility. If your boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable with it and you do see if you can compromise and let him stay for a limited amount of time.

Foofa · Answer

If you have the room for this person and can arrange for him to contribute a fair amount to the household bills maybe that would teach him how to be more responsible. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like you have any obligation to this young adult so it's really up to you.

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My adult son is trying to move his younger half brother in my home. What do I do?

7 Answers