Is this a healthy relationship? If not what can be done. Is it normal for a 45yr old married man to have this type of relationship ...?

Question

So this person is married has a wife and kids and talks to his mom at least once a day If not multiple times a day and sometimes it's a phone call other times it will be FaceTime is that normal? Is it also normal for the mother to know much of his personal business like stuff you would only talk to your wife about but the mother knows just not as much detail as the wife but enough detail to know what's going on? Also is it normal for the son to confide in the mother and have more of a better communication with his mother than his own wife? Like if you cannot talk to his wife about something he always goes to the mother for everything. Also is it normal to live in a different house is your mother but see them once a week If not two times a week? How much is too much communication with your mother and how much is too much for her to know as well as how much is too much time to see her in person? I know this is a loaded multi-part question I'm just curious because this is happening to someone that I'm very close to and I want to make sure that it's normal and If not what can be done because it might be interfering with other relationships and it might be seen as a little bit weird or whatever you want to call it.

Update:

So no one finds it weird that the mom knows almost as much as the woman in this relationship&talks to her son all the time like there is nothing else to do but every opportunity has he talks to his mom and has helped her multiple times a day.

Update 2:

I get it's good too talk to her parents and in this case your mom but how much is too much time to talk to them or too much information to share with them There is a point where becomes really dependent like you have to tell your mom or something will happen.If you talk to your mom once a day great if not and it's only a couple times a week nothing wrong with that why is there this need to talk multiple times a day and see that multiple times a week?

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s very strange. 
I’m in your exact same predicament except it’s my husbands sister. They talk thru  out the day. It’s ridiculous 
My husband doesn’t talk to me about anything bc he’s already told his sister, but he gets mad at me when he mentions something I have no idea what he’s talking about. I tell him that he must have told his other wife (his sister)

? · Answer

During a pandemic lockdown it's not at all unusual for people to talk to their elderly shut-in parents every day. In terms of him confiding more in her than in you, yeah, that can be a problem. Some marriage counseling might help.

? · Answer

If he's a total Mommy's boy now, he was before he got married.  I'm thinking this is your husband.  There is no way i'd have married someone like him in the first place, let alone even date him.  Are you kidding me?

seedy history · Answer

Normal in some families and not in others. That's how it goes. It's not that unusual in my husband's cousins' families but it wasn't like that with his siblings or parents. It's not like that in my family or my siblings families. But I think it is that way in a few other families I'm aware of. I know of three families that eventually bought up their entire blocks and are in and out of each other's homes constantly, all the kids play through all the yards and there seems nearly no divide regarding family separation or acknowledgment/agreed distancing at all. Very strong tribal identity! I'd find it difficult myself because I'm a bit of a social hermit but there are others who flourish in it. All I know is that I would not. I wed someone who would not. But.. some do.

idegia101 · Answer

I am posting here because Yahoo answers does not let me comment on individual posts. I feel that it doesn't matter if it's a son or a daughter that has this close bond so to speak with a parent and this has nothing to do with the pandemic because it was this way before that just for clarification. I'm not very jealous I just find it very strange because it doesn't interfere with my time with my man. Also, this is not my husband but it is my fiance's brother and I should not meddle in others' relationship but it does interfere with my fiance and my relationship as well as our relationship with my fiance's mother. My fiance can fall victim to this with his brother where he will tell him stuff and then when we are talking he will say something and I will go I didn't know that or you didn't tell that and he gets a bit mad when I need and or have him tell me what the situation is or what's going on or whatever and it is like I love and and I am your fiance you should tell me these things and not keep me in the dark about anything other then maybe a suprise.

Rock The Boat · Answer

I think it's nice that they can be so open with each other. Sounds more like friendships than parent, child bonds. It's something I can only wish for. Sometimes as kids we avoid conversations with our parents because we know that they will just lecture us than give good advice or just listen. I would be a little sad for the wife though that she is told less than the mother.

? · Answer

I know a woman who talks on the phone with her mother every day- usually more than once a day. They went to the mother's house for dinner once a week before COVID. Do you find that wrong? Or is it only if a man stays close to his mother? The one thing I think is wrong is if he tells things to the mother that he hasn't told his wife. You sound very jealous. You need to talk to him about keeping some things between you and him.

Pearl L · Answer

theres nothing wrong with him talking to his mom, wish i could do that, both my parents have been gone for yrs

i + i · Answer

Based on your description the relationship 
falls well within what is defined as normal. 
What's not normal is someone butting into 
a relationship between a man and his mom, 
no matter how "very close" they believe 
themselves to be. Get your nose out of 
their business.

? · Answer

i dont see anything wrong with that, wish i could talk to my mom, shes been gone for yrs

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Is this a healthy relationship? If not what can be done. Is it normal for a 45yr old married man to have this type of relationship ...?

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