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Do you think his behaviour is toxic ? ?

Okay, so I met this guy on Tinder, he's 32 and i'm 20. 

We agreed to meet up after 2 days of texting each other. We have been on three dates so far.On the first date nothing special happened. We just held hands and walked for a few hours.  On the second date, we were at the park. I'm superstitious, so when I saw a bunch of crows I said out loud "is it good or bad luck to see 4 crows?". He replied "Please, don't be superstitious with me like that, you can do it with your friends, but not with me." He wasn't mad or anything, but he seemed annoyed. We joked it off though. So during the last date, (3rd one) we were waiting for the delivery man to give us our food. I said the word "yo" about three times, then he said "stop saying that, it doesn't suit you". I was quite shocked, because I say it often, and I didn't like him telling me what to do. Then he said something along the lines of "Do you say that to your mum? Please don't say it when you're with me". Anyways, we sit down to eat, I had a date later that afternoon, so I was pretty stressed. He noticed this and said "I don't like hanging out with people who are stressed out, i'm a very positive person". I didn't really say anything after that, we had a casual conversation, before saying goodbye he was like "Don't worry, you'll make up for it next time". It's like he's trying to act like my dad or something. Is his behaviour toxic or am i overthinking things ? Thanks. 

5 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's just what is known as a PITA..

    First he's trying to control what you say & talk about, even innocuous things like superstitions that you simply asked him an opinion on.

    What will he try to control next in your life? That's the question.

    Me, I'd talk back to him and smack him if he didn't grow up and quit trying to bully me into submission.

    But that's just me-an old f@rt male married for 34 years who respects his wife, her opinions and her right to make her own decisions about her life. We talk things over and make mutual decisions about things that affect both of is.

    That being said, if I were a female not trained by Airborne Rangers, I would probably be careful about getting in his face. He might hit first...ya never know.

    Overall, hard as it can be, we're usually far better off being alone than having someone steal our freedom to be ourselves. But I can't speak for you.

    Best of luck.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Sounds like a typical control freak to me.  This is why he's single.

  • 1 month ago

    I totally agree that he's trying to act like your Dad or something! After you wrote about the first two dates... seemed promising! The third date is often the clue of whether or not there'll be a fourth. I suggest you don't continue to date him. You've seen the writing on the wall! You're a project. Turn that down. Your note suggests that he's looking for a much younger gal to train and control and.. well.. occasionally demean in his nipping and tucking "help" in your growing up. If you don't think you need "correction" then pass on this guy. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Not so much toxic as it is rude and unnecessary. It can quickly become toxic though. If a man spoke to me like that and tried to dictate how I talked he'd be blocked in 0.2 seconds. For someone who says he's a positive person he comes across like a negative, critical a**h*le.

    I say silly sh*t like "yo" all the time and I'm in my early 40s. My spouse is the same way and he's in his late 40s. I have friends in their 50s and 60s who do it too. Immature? Maybe. But so what? Life isn't meant to be serious all the time.

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  • Ashley
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    So I am 23 and I date someone that is 32 years old, and honestly the things you say can come off as immature and he will correct you. These new generation terms do not fit their generation , so it was probably shocking to hear you say “yo” like that especially coming from a female he wants to be interested in. Even though it’s normal for a female your age to say that to someone else that is your age. If you aren’t comfortable with that, I would advise you to find someone younger.  You two are showing signs of being incompatible  

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