Need more perspectives please. He saw a future with her but now we are together again. Do relationships recover from this?

Question

I need to repost, sorry, because I had only a couple of perspectives and i wasnt clear on what has happened. 
We split up a year ago. Got back together. Split again in autumn. Problem is we fight especially when we drink.
After our last split we both started dating, but I missed him. I got back in touch in jan and accepted that he was dating. I hoped that he'd eventually choose me. 
He then said he had met another woman and things were going well. I ask lots of questions and got him to tell me a lot about that relationship. We have a strong connection and he trusts me. I kept sleeping with him hoping he'd eventually leave her. 
When I realised that he wasn't going to leave her I contacted the woman and said everything.She had no idea. She broke up with him immediately. 
Same night he blocked me. He was furious. He texted me that I was manipulative and evil, that I got him to open up to me and used that information against him and her. He said I need to cut you out of my life.
I was in despair. I can't cope when he's angry with me. Eventually I went to see him and we spoke a lot and we kind of went forward from there. I said I did it because I know he loves me more and it wasn't fair on the other woman.
We seem to be doing OK at the moment. But will he regret the other relationship? Will I accept that he was making love with her and 'seeing a future with her? Or is our love stronger? Will the relationship heal from this all?

Fireplace · Accepted Answer

How on earth can you think of your love as strong? It sounds tenuous, off and on, full of toxic spite - a "strong" love is a steady one. You wouldn't have deliberately set out to hurt him as you did. This guy is a lousy cheater, sleeping with you while he's in a relationship with someone else - why would you not expect the same treatment later on? You know he's quite capable. But he blamed you for it. He obviously has no respect for either of you. The whole situation sounds lurid, you sound like George and Martha in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?

n2mama · Answer

This sounds awful. You broke up, he was seeing someone else, but you started sleeping together again? Then, when he wouldn’t end things with her you contacted her and told her, then were surprised that he was furious? You both were wrong, maybe you deserve each other, but no way do you have a solid relationship without getting some outside help. Seriously, you both have issues.

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Need more perspectives please. He saw a future with her but now we are together again. Do relationships recover from this?

2 Answers