AM

Everyone loves Alcibiades—at least everyone who knows anything about him. Why is he so popular? Is it his political genius? His military prowess? His tragic and brutal death? His amazing sexiness? The fact that Socrates wouldn't f*** him, despite his amazing sexiness? Just out of curiosity.

Suppose I have written a novel about the Second Punic War between Rome and Carthage (218–201 BCE). The plot and characters closely conform to the history of that period. This seems like it ought to be called a "historical novel." Except, the whole thing is re-imagined as if it were taking place in modern times, with modern technologies, etc. I'm not sure if the term "historical novel" still seems appropriate.

Now, suppose I want to send this thing to a literary agent. Agents want to know the genre of the book in question, and usually only represent certain genres. So, what is the genre of the novel described above? Historical? Semi-historical? Semi-historical/war/political/action/thriller? (No agent represents the latter genre). If none of these, what is it?

If someone really wants to be helpful, perhaps they can answer this question: are there any published books similar to the one described above? Several adaptions of Shakespeare do something similar, taking the Shakespearean text and setting it in later times. But I can't think of any novels that do this with history.

If someone really wants to be unhelpful, they can tell me how bad the idea is, and that no agent will be interested in the thing anyway.

Thanks in advance.

I'm writing an academic article in which I need an example of a heroic action that others helped with. I'm responding to an argument that says that while an individual can choose to act heroically—such as sacrificing their life for others—it would be wrong to assist her in doing so. I want to say that the emergency workers who lost their lives in 9/11 were heroic, but that the dispatchers and others who made their heroic actions possible were not wrong. So the argument above does not seem to apply universally.

Now, I'm just a bit afraid that using 9/11 as an example in passing might offend some people. But, it's a perfect example, and it's hard to think of others. Am I right to be worried about seeming insensitive, or should I be fine to use the example for the purposes of academic argument?

I have to remove all author-identifying information—including metadata—from a document for double-blind peer-review. I have Word 2011 for Mac. I've already removed my name from the document itself, and from the "Author" field in File > Properties > Summary. But when I go to File > Properties > Statistics, there is a "Last saved by" field that displays my name, and does not seem to be editable. How do I remove my name from that field? And is there any other author-identifying metadata I should be aware of?

The following sentence seems to be grammatical:

"She tried two bowls of porridge: the first was too hot; the second was too cold."

The semicolon connects two related, independent clauses, which is exactly what semicolons are supposed to do. (The clauses are related in that they both expand upon the clause before the colon.)

But, is the following sentence grammatical?

"She tried three bowls of porridge: the first was too hot; the second was too cold; the third was just right."

Now the semicolon links three related, independent clauses. Grammar guides suggest it should be used to connect two such clauses, but I see no reason why it couldn't connect three.

So, am I right, or is there an arbitrary limit of two on the number of related, independent clauses semicolons are allowed to connect?

Suppose I claim that Australia is older than Canada. Then I do some research, and I make the following correction:

"I was wrong: Australia was founded in 1901; Canada was founded in 1867."

There are three clauses in the above sentence:

1. I was wrong.

2. Australia was founded in 1901.

3. Canada was founded in 1867.

Obviously, I want the semicolon to divide clause 2 from clause 3, and the colon to divide clause 1 from clauses 2 and 3. This reading would be correct if the colon takes precedence over the semicolon. But, on another reading of the sentence, the colon divides clause 1 from clause 2, while the semicolon divides clauses 1 and 2 from clause 3. This reading would be correct if the semicolon takes precedence over the colon, but it is clearly not the reading I am going for.

So, which reading is correct? Does the colon take precedence like I want it to, or does the semicolon take precedence? I would appreciate a source too.

I've been dating a guy recently, and we've started to have sex a few times. But for some reason, he doesn't want to do anything but foreplay. We get each other really aroused, and then he just stops. The first time this happened, I started to masturbate, but he told me to stop (so I did). Basically, he likes to get me really aroused, and vice versa, but he doesn't want either of us to ejaculate under any circumstances, or progress to anything past foreplay.

The reason he gives for this is that ejaculation is too intimate. He thinks that he would only want to ejaculate if he had been in a relationship for a long time. This view is extremely conservative, especially for the gay community. Not only that, but conservatives who hold these kinds of views generally don't think that you can have a little bit of light sex early on, and that the sex can get gradually more intense as the relationship progresses. Generally, they think that you can't have sex at all until the relationship reaches a certain point, after which full-on sex is permitted.

Anyway... On the one hand, I don't want to encourage him to do anything he doesn't want to do. On the other hand, I really think if you start having sex with someone there's a general understanding that it will end in orgasm. And I really like him otherwise, so I don't want to stop dating him because of this. It just irritates me that he won't let me ejaculate.

I've never been with a guy who's afraid of orgasms before. Any suggestions?

I have a manuscript for a novel, which I am ready to submit to some literary agencies. Of course, I've researched all the information about how to format a novel, how to indent the paragraphs, etc. The problem is that my novel doesn't have paragraphs, per se; it has numbered verses — like biblical verses — typically about one to three sentences long. So...

Should I just treat each verse like a paragraph, and begin each paragraph with the verse number? When I do this, the indentation looks ugly, and seems like it would be a strain to read.

Or, should I use a simple numbered list? This looks better, and seems easier to read, but it is not as consistent with standard manuscript formatting.

Replies from published authors or (especially) literary agents would be appreciated.

What are the most beautiful or poetic verses from the KJV? I'm interested in verses that are of literary significance, not necessarily the most instructive or inspirational. Please quote as many as you want.

Mentally competent patients have the right to refuse treatment, including life-saving treatment, and including nutrition and hydration.

So, consider this hypothetical scenario:

Suppose I'm healthy, but I'm just tired of life. I walk into a hospital and say, "I want to die by dehydration. I will not eat or drink, and I refuse all life-saving treatment, including hydration and nutrition. I will only accept palliative care."

Would the hospital have to comply with my request, letting me slowly die, even though I'm otherwise healthy?

Suppose someone was in need a vital organ transplant in order to survive. You have a matching organ. You can offer to donate your organ, thereby saving your the person's life, but at the cost of your own life.

Would you sacrifice your life if the person was: Your child? Your spouse? A sibling? A great friend? A famous person? A stranger?

Who would, if anyone, you be willing to die for?

On a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 = nearly always unhappy and 5 = nearly always happy, how would you rate your level of happiness over the last six months?

If you could choose to die anywhere (painlessly, in the future, when you are ready to die), where would you choose? It could be a place that means a lot to you, or a place that you would like to visit, or whatever. It's just a hypothetical question.

Here is a word game I came up with just now while I was bored:

Find the shortest sentence that doesn't appear in a Google search.

Instructions:

1. Think of a short, improbable sentence (e.g. "She writes like a dead fish.")

2. Type the sentence in to Google in quotation marks.

3. If a notification appears stating "no results found for...", then you have an acceptable sentence. If this is the shortest you can think of, post it here.

Rules:

-The sentence must be meaningful in English

-You may not use proper nouns (e.g. Everest, Obama).

-The Google result must display "no results found for...". If the string of words appears in your search, but not as a sentence, it is still invalid (e.g. "She walks like a dead fish").

-Length will be determined by number of characters, including spaces.

-If two sentences are of the same length, the first one posted will win.

Of course, the winner will receive Best Answer.

I am writing a YA novel about a genocide. The target audience is around 16-17, at the higher end of the YA age range. There is one scene where a group of soldiers take turns urinating into the open mouth of a corpse, while joking and cursing (e.g. "Drink p*ss, mother****er"). I want to get across how bad genocide actually is; in some ways, I think it would be worse if it was less graphic. But I can imagine that some people (and especially parents) might object. Is this too graphic for a YA novel?

I want to schedule SMS to be sent to my phone from a phone number that is not my own. Is there a free app or website that will allow me to do this?

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.

They lay. They rotted. They turned

Around occasionally.

Bits of flesh fell off them from

Time to time.

And sank into the pool's mire.

They also smelt a great deal.

I met a guy a few days ago who was visiting from out of town. We basically just hooked up, and I thought that would be it. But he ended up staying the night. We ended up spending a lot of time together and he stayed for two more nights. I showed him around the city, we went for dinner, etc, etc. he kept on saying how much he likes me and how he thinks I'm such a cool guy, and so on. But then he had to go back to the city where he lives which is more than 1000 miles away. Anyway, this has never happened before when I've hooked up -- it's hasn't happened very often at all -- but I think I like this guy a lot. If he lived in town, I think it could have turned into something serious. He asked me to go back with him to his city for a few days, but I couldn't tell if he was joking or not (and I couldn't right now anyway).

What was that all about? Why did he insist on spending so much time with me if he lives so far away? He clearly wants to be friends, and he clearly likes having sex with me, but does he want something more? Or are there guys who like to get really close to the guys they hook up with, like a short-term boyfriend experience?

I ask because I kind of want a relationship, but I almost never meet guys who I like to that extent (it hasn't happened in years). I know he's far away, but I am very mobile right now; if he was looking for something serious, it could work, potentially.

So...

Should I just forget about this guy? Should I tell him I like him in that way, and see what he says? Should I just wait for someone else to come along (as I had been doing for years)? Is this all just a bit silly? I just want advice.

I'm 22 by the way, and he's 25. Don't know if that makes a difference.

I recently got into a debate with a friend this question. He thought was weird for using a spoon. I tried to explain that trying to get jam out of the jar with a knife is the most inefficient thing in the universe. What do you use?

This question is for straight and bisexual women: How much pubic hair do you like on a male partner? Natural? Trimmed? (How long?) Shaved?

Just curious.