Nessie from Loch Ness

What does it do and how much did it cost you.

Nessie ;-)

Ebay member has bought item for me via Paypal and funds have been placed in my sellers account. Problem is I can finds how I get my funds into my bank account or to use if I wish to buy of another Ebayer. Have emailed Ebay but as use as a chocolate teapot ?

Thanks to those kind soul's that can help this old monster.

Have a good Chistmas and all the best in 2013

Nessie TLNM

Thanks to all who can help. ;-)

My pal has Norton 2012 software 3 PC Licence, He installed it to his laptop on purchase 4 months ago however he has updated his laptop and was wondering if he can install it onto his new laptop.

Was wondering if the licence period was up for putting on our computer, etc ?

Fellow goes to the jobcentre to look for work and his adviser tells him that there is a job for a assistant gynaecologist in Glasgow.

He says "What does the job entail"

And his adviser explains that he would have to assist a gynaecologist with matter to do with females southern regions?

The fellow says " Thats' great! I would like to apply for that job" with a great big dirty grin.

The adviser says " Well you'll need to be at Princes Street in Edinburgh at 9am on Monday"

The fellow say's " That's 50 miles away I thought the job was in Glasgow"

And his advisor reply's " Thats' right but that's were the end of the queue is for the job is"

If you get 2 main numbers and the bonus number do you get a tenner, or do you have to get 3 main numbers on your lottery line.

Just back from Princes Street in Edinburgh where we have the world famous street party, see below link !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJ5hcCgzT3k

Thanks to all who help, 10 points will be awarded to best answer.

Full version required no time limit.

Nessie TLNM

Everywhere I seem to go you are bombarded with Freaky looking students jumping out at you calling you "Guys" and looking for you to commit to a charity.

Or you fall over eastern Europeans begging or murdering accordion for more money on every corner of the High Streets.

Hi techies

I know there is free software that I could use but can you recommend one that you have used and was it any good for what you needed.

10 points to best advice !

Cheers !

My pal has asked me to transfer his music collection to another external hard drive. However it will take a few hour to complete will it be okay to start them stop and continue once I have time again to continue.

Old woman goes into her local supermarket where a young girls is serving at the counter, and say's "Can I have 36 tins of cat food please"

The girls reply's " You must have a lot of cats"

To which the old woman says "Oh no,there for my husbands sandwiches, I use the cat food as a paste for the bread"

The girls reply's " That will kill him madam!"

"Oh no, its okay I read it in a book" Said the old woman.

So off she goes with her cat food only to return one week later, where the same young girl was serving again.

The girl asks "How may tins of cat food today"

"None, my husbands dead" said the old woman.

The girl is stunned and say's "I told you that you would kill him feeding him that stuff"

The old lady said " He did not die from that"

"What was the cause of death then" asked the girl

And the old lady replied "Oh, he broke his neck when trying to lick his backside"

Partner has size 8 shoes UK, but needs EE or EEE in width, can you help with suggested websites.

Tried saying to her that she should wear the shoe boxes, and got a jelly nose ?

Nessie TLNM x

Met my wife at Bingo club where I was working. We had been eyeing each other for weeks when one night she won some money.

So quickly I grab her cash and a piece of paper and gave them to her on the Bingo hall floor.

She took the cash and opened the piece of paper and read the note which I had written. It said "If you and I were to go out we would be as happy as 22, two little ducks "

It worked and now were 12 years together ,

Wife was in the kitchen the other night counting out the 1 pence and 2 pence coins that she had saved in a jar.

All of a sudden she let out a massive scream and started giving me verbal abuse.

It was 5 minutes when I realised that she was probably just going threw the change ?