ridingthestorm_out

If an American commits felony in in USA nad flees to Mexico, Can Usa go to Mexico to get said person,and or will Mexico extradite that person to Usa> ? sources if possible ty ahead of time

Can anyone that uses albuterol or such-like meds for nebulizer tell me if these meds can affect your inability to taste?

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar.

"What the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your willy?"

The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies.' "

The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his

left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."

The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?"

The fella proudly replies, " 'Cause it takes! a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because 'Quality is Job One'." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY.....'Like a Rock!'" And gives a wink!

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer."

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN'!!!!!"

Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland ..

Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. !

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?"

"That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn."

The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.

About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn,! and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love last night!"

"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!"

The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....

"LAIDTHEOLADEETOO"

Before you say ne thing MY DAUGHTER IS A LAW STUDENT .JUST A JOKE!!

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging

her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub

your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."

She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew

terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus

and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little

rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her

eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."

A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of

Dr. Smith's ?"

"Why, yes I am... How did you know?"

He leaned closer, winked and whispered, " Hickory dickory dock.....

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her

kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and

him

pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time

they

got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the

wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any

easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed

to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on,

this

time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots." They're my brothers'My mom made me wear them Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up

what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet

again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your

mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."She will be eligible for parole in three years

A recent study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has

revealed

that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ

depending

on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged

and

masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she

tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple

and

tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,

When you said you had 10 inches, Lord, I almost died.

But I'd spent so many nights just waiting for a man that long,

That I grew strong and I knew that I could take you on. ..

But there you are, another lie!

I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a french fry.

I should have known it was so small, just a sad pathetic dream,

Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking for me in those jeans.

Go on now go, walk out the door,

Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4,

Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't notice it pop out,

Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

Chorus:

I will survive,

I will survi-ive,

Cuz as long as I have batteries,

My sex life's gonna thrive,

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex.

I will survive,

I will survive. . .hey, hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,

When I saw your little wiener standing small and proud.

But too bad about your ego and to Hell with all your needs!

Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed

Go on now go, just make a dash,

Last time I saw a d**k that small I was treating diaper rash!

I should have asked for confirmation,

Should have asked for pictures, please!

Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winkie thing at me.

Go on now go, just hit the track,

Don't you bring me home no little worm, I'll always throw them back.

The only thing that I could do with a d**k as small as yours,

Is to stick it with a tooth pick And then call it an hors d'oeuvre!

Chorus:

I will survive,

I will survi-ive,

Cuz as long as I have batteries,

My sex life's gonna thrive,

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex.

I will survive,

I will survive. . .hey, hey!

Go on now go, Get out of my sight,

I'm going back to my appliance, Cuz I know it's length is right,

And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door,

You'll be counting your 4 inches as you pick them off the floor.

Go on now Go!

The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath to pose as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

Husband: Oh, come on.

Wife: Leave me alone!

Husband: It won't take long.

Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Husband: I can't sleep without it.

Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Husband: Because I'm Hot.

Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.

Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.

Husband: You don't love me anymore.

Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Husband: Please...come on Wife: Alright, I'll do it.

Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Wife: I can't find it.

Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!

Wife: There! Are you satisfied?

Husband: Oh, yes.

Wife: Is it up far enough?

Husband: Oh, that's good.

Wife: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself

Thank gawddddddd for DEFENSE :)

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his

7-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand

what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose

together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is

called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call

him a ******-head. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another

boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call

your coach 'a dumb ***hole' is it?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that

to your mother."

.

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the

wife

goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a

ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.

"Yeah, right!" she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The

wife

tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the

closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the

dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is

amazed.

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking

with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring

loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him, so she goes

to

the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon, and ties it around her

husband's testicles.

Amazingly it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.

The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the

bathroom. As

he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a

blue

ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks

back

into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's

testicles.

He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers "don't know where

we

were, or what we did, but, we took first and second place!"

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is

unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and

picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm

going crazy.What do you think I should do?"

"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down.

Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

He thought he was God, and I didn't.

------------------------------------------------------

Marriage is a three-ring circus:

Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

------------------------------------------------------

For Sale:

Wedding dress, size 8.

Worn once by mistake.

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There are two times when a man doesn't understand a

woman:

Before marriage and after marriage.

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.

The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a

small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned

to

tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.

Of course the woman wanted "The Knob."

Over the course of the years, the woman kept tightening the knob, and

the effects were wonderful, and the woman remained young-looking and

vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two

problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine.

I've

had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results.

But

now I've developed two annoying problems:

First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't

get

rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those

are your breasts ,,,,,,,She replied , well no need to ask about the goatee