cer798

I live out of state but come home to my parent's house at the holidays and sometimes for a few days in the summer. We got a poodle puppy in 2001 when I was a kid and now, 12 years later, my family doesn't pay any attention to him. I come home for Thanksgiving and he is smelly and ungroomed, with mats in his fur, long toenails, and hotspots where he's been scratching at himself. He's stubborn and has to be coaxed out of his crate to go potty using cheese and other treats. Sometimes he will stay in there all day because my parents go to work in the morning and don't have time to spend 20 minutes trying to get him to go outside. If he does want to go out or be let back in he will whine until someone opens up the crate/opens the door. He can be aggressive around food or if anyone tries to put him on a leash/disturb him from his location on the couch. He will jump on people asking to be petted. At the same time he can be very affectionate and sweet, and loves going on walks once he is outside (although it is impossible to get him to heel). My parents protest that he is "untrainable," that they've tried working with trainers, and have basically thrown their hands up. A lack of money for training and pet care is not the issue here. They make sure he has food and water, and take him to the vet when they need to, but they're so frustrated that they've given up doing anything else.

It doesn't help that we have two adorable, well-behaved, low-maintenance cats, so our poor old family dog languishes in his crate all day long while my parents and youngest sister ooh and ahh over the antics of the kitten and older cat playing together. The dog and youngest cat snap at each other sometimes but my family just laughs it off and thinks it's hilarious. I'm not there very often and couldn't take the dog back home with me, but I don't know what I can do to convince my parents that our dog deserves better treatment than this and that his bad behavior is affecting their quality of life as well.

Any suggestions?

I am taking a trip to Tokyo with a group from my school over winter break, and I'm having trouble getting my confirmation number for my ticket. The tickets were booked through a travel agency but I don't know details beyond that. It wouldn't be a problem except that I will be checking in separately from the rest of the group and meeting them at an airport closer to home where they are having a layover (does that make sense?). I've been emailing the supervising professor who has all of the paperwork, but he hasn't gotten back to me and we leave in less than a week, so I'm getting antsy. The international help line for Continental is being unhelpful as well, along with the website. My question is, if worst comes to worst and I can't get a confirmation code to check in, is there another way I can get a boarding pass at the counter? My passport information should be on file and I know my flight itinerary. Thankfully I won't be checking any bags, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of a trip and I would hate to miss it because of stupid bureaucracy.

I got a few streaks professionally done last week and they look great, but whenever I shampoo and rinse my hair in the shower the water turns purple! At first I thought it was just excess dye but after washing it 4 or 5 times I'm worrying that I'm actually removing the pigment bit by bit. I'm using cheapo Suave shampoo and conditioner - could that be the problem? What do I need to do to keep my (wicked awesome) hair from fading?

The guy I've been crushing on for ages turned me down as nicely as possible yesterday saying stuff like "You're great and I admire/respect you so much, but I just don't have those feelings for you" and "I hadn't ever thought of you that way before you told me you liked me."

In my experience, whenever someone says "you're awesome, but I don't think of you that way", it's just a nice, polite way of avoiding the real, deep-down reason for rejection, which is usually something like "I don't find you attractive" or "I can't ever imagine myself with you" - things that are honestly hurtful but that we can't help entering into our calculations.

In your past, what have your reasons been for not being "into" someone who, at least on paper, you should have been crazy about?

My guy friend and I admitted we liked each other at the end of last semester, and decided to think things over during the summer. Now that we're back at school we have mostly been hanging out in groups and flirting a little, but there hasn't been any sort of "defining the relationship" talk. I know that I want to take it further than just friendship, but I can't figure out what he wants.

Rather than put a lot of pressure on him by confronting him directly with scary questions about Feelings, I want to ask him to go get coffee so we can catch up and unwind, and hopefully then more dates and maybe a relationship will come. I don't know how to handle this though! I can figure out how to do the asking - it's just everything else that is confusing me, like who pays? How do I establish that it is more of a date and not just a chance for us and ALL of our friends to hang out? What day of the week/time of day is best for a coffee date? What if he doesn't even like coffee? Is this all a horrible idea?

It's been ages since I've been involved with someone new, and I've never done this formal date-asking thing before. Help!

Sometimes I get really depressed and fantasize about killing myself. When I get like this I just want to stop thinking and wondering about everything and put a gun to my head or jump off a building - something to just blast my mind away (wow that sounds a lot more horrible when it's written down). I feel ignored, rejected, and unloved by my ex-boyfriend of 8 months, and I want to punish him and make him remember me again. I also feel like no one will ever choose to be with me again, that everyone thinks I am an innocent, naive, untroubled little girl of no consequence.

Please understand, I DON'T actually want to kill myself. Killing myself would of course change the situation with the ex and other guys, but then I'd be dead, so it would be completely pointless. I have a great life most of the time - loving family, plenty of good friends, smart, no stresses about money, in college with a bright future, blahblahblah. I just feel that a big part of my life is missing and that because my ex-boyfriend doesn't want me, nobody wants me. I want to address this depression before it gets worse and I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.

I never usually ask questions in this category, but here goes...I'm in my freshman year of college. I broke up with my long-term (over 2 years) boyfriend, who I loved very much in a high-school way, before leaving for college. It was mutual, but he more or less stopped talking to me about two weeks after we parted, which really hurt my feelings since we had basically been best friends for almost all of high school.

Anyway, so that was 7 months ago, and I haven't really had any serious crushes on anyone at school until recently. There's this guy who's in a bunch of classes with me this semester and we've been hanging out a lot lately in groups, and I really like him. He's really smart and funny and cute (or at least I think so :) ) and interested in the world and we get along well. I'm just scared to pursue anything because... 1) He has commitment issues (according to his twin brother). 2) He can be kind of mean/impatient/easily irritated with people sometimes. 3) One of my friends liked him, and even though she says she's over it, I don't want to hurt her feelings. And 4) I don't know if he likes me back. He's a little bit of a flirt and so when he smiles at me or compliments me or laughs at my jokes or glances at me in class I don't know if he's just flirting or if he's actually interested. And my biggest fear is being rejected and hurt again by someone. It made me feel worthless the first time and I don't want it to happen again. Not to mention it could be awkward if I approach him and it doesn't work, since we work together in the theatre department.

What should I do? Should I continue to spend time with him in the (possibly futile) hope that something happens? Or should I remain friendly but try to get over this crush thing? I've got a lot on my mind! Please help!

I go to a small (less than 1000 students) private school in the south. Our stellar semester abroad program is abruptly being canceled by the powers that be due to economic reasons (read: they want our tuition money for that semester). I was going to participate in this program since my full tuition scholarship would transfer, but now it looks like a semester abroad will be impossible without going into debt or spending absurd amounts of money.

Speaking with the head of the center for international studies this morning, I learned that our school is $2.5 million in debt...this is confusing. Our school charges about 30K a year, gives out hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in scholarship money, has a huge endowment, is strongly supported by the (very wealthy) community, is constantly renovating buildings on campus, and can afford to send a 60-person choir to New York and Italy for a tour over spring break.

How did this happen? Who do they owe all this money to? How can it ever be paid off? And are they really going to begrudge the $200,000 in tuition money that would be lost for a handful of students to study abroad for a single semester? I'm dumbfounded!

I'm trying to expand my babysitting client base and make some extra money while I'm at home over winter break this year. I'm thinking about putting up flyers that will include things like my experience, age, references, contact info, etc., and distributing them around my neighborhood. I'm experienced, honest, punctual, an honors student, grew up in the neighborhood, and so on. I love kids and wouldn't just plop them in front of a TV or let them run wild all evening. I have several references from people I've babysat for in the past.

For parents, if you saw a well-written flyer that had the above information, either in your mailbox or in a public place, would you consider calling the number on it if you needed a babysitter? I would be willing to meet with parents, have negotiable pay and flexible hours, and provide my own transportation, but is a flyer too impersonal to be effective?

I am a freshman in college, probably majoring in theatre and minoring in creative writing. I have some debt I want to pay off as soon as possible and several plans to travel and study abroad within the next four years.

I don't really have the time or ability (no car) to hold down a real job during the school year, but I do want to work this summer in addition to getting an internship or volunteering at a theatre in my hometown. The only "real" job I've ever had was a contract stitching job at a community theatre one summer, but besides that I have lots and lots of school and volunteer work.

I think I would do well in a retail/food service setting or doing something clerical, but I don't really know how to go about applying. There are several restaurants, hair salons, clothing stores, and other small businesses a short walk from my house.

Any tips? Do places like that usually hire inexperienced students? I'm not looking for anything long-term, just a summer job with somewhat flexible hours to help pay for school and some other things. Thanks!

My prom dress is a 50s style burgundy ballgown with delicate rose-gold embroidery on the bodice. My shoes are a rose-gold leather and my purse is deep dusty pink satin (it works, trust me). What is a good color to paint my fingernails and toenails so that they don't clash with my dress, purse, OR shoes? I am keeping my makeup very natural, since I hardly ever wear makeup and don't want to overwhelm my makeup-o-phobe of a boyfriend : ) I did a French manicure for my graduation dance in middle school so I would like to have some actual color this time. Thanks!

I'm trying to ease into the complicated world of makeup slowly and I don't want to spend a lot of money on expensive brand names just yet. What is the best drugstore concealer available for someone who needs to cover up undereye circles and the occasional pimple? I bought a Maybelline coverup stick the other day but it is cakey and doesn't cover up the circles well enough. If there aren't any really good drugstore ones, are there any department store brands that are worth investing in?

Also, I am going to a formal event in May and would like to have standout lashes. Unfortunately, my eyelashes in their natural state are short, stubby, and somewhat sparse. My eyes are also deeply set, making it difficult to apply mascara with a traditional big, fluffy brush. What type of mascara (curling, lengthening, volumizing, multiplying, etc.) should I buy, and what are some good drugstore brands? This is one item I probably cannot afford to buy from a department store. Thanks!

I just finished filling out my FAFSA4Caster form, which is a form that uses the previous year's tax info to create an estimate of your EFC and give you an idea of aid you can receive. My parents make 6 figures, so I knew I wouldn't get a grant, but I nearly had a heart attack when I got back an EFC of just over $39,000!!!!!!!!! That's a lot more than the FAFSA's estimate of the yearly cost of the type of college I want to attend. There is NO WAY we can pay almost 40k a year! We have 2 (maybe 3, I'm not sure) huge mortgages on our house, but no college savings, and I have 2 younger sisters who will be entering college right after I graduate. I'm applying for merit scholarships like crazy, but I was expecting a much smaller EFC, and I'm really worried that anything else I receive won't be enough, or that I'll be disqualified from institutional aid because of a supposed lack of need. Is this a normal EFC for my family's income or do I need to see the actual FAFSA before I panic?

Our teacher sponsor for prom recently quit out of frustration with the officers' constant bickering with the students and each other over the prom theme, DJ, location, fundraising, the price...Currently, senior dues are $240 total, which includes senior activities at the end of the year, but also depends on $2000 in fundraising (an optimistic figure). Each homeroom has two representatives, but hardly any of them show up to meetings. People are spending far too much time blaming everything on everybody else and not trying to come up with better ideas. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I could approach the committee and tell them some of my ideas? Do you think I should talk to my representatives and offer to take their position, since neither one of them cares enough to show up to or speak up in meetings? I have a lot of good ideas, but they're not being heard in the current setup. I want prom this year to be fun, drama-free, and let everyone have a say in how it will happen.

I just heard that my school's prom theme this year is going to be the 80s, which...blech. I already have my dress, which is burgundy with a strapless dropwaist bodice and a poofy tulle ankle-length skirt, and is far too pretty to ruin to make it look like it's from the 80's. I was planning on having silver jewelry and simple hair. Were there any fashions in the 80's that didn't involve plastic jewelry in neon colors, frizzy moussed hairdos, and ripped up sweatshirts, and would be appropriate for a senior prom?

I will be entering college in a year and am planning to study technical theater, specifically costume design. Many of the colleges I will be applying to have theater scholarships for both actors and techies, but they require an interview and a portfolio. I have a general idea of what to put into my portfolio - sketches, pictures, swatches of fabrics- and I have a lot of stuff that I could include, but I just don't know HOW to put it together. For example, what kind of binder or notebook should I buy? Should I glue the pictures to cardstock, or is there a better way to attach things that would let me update easily? Should I include lots of in-progress pictures or just the finished products? If I didn't sketch the costume before I made it, what do I do? How long should it be? Should I include blurbs about the design inspiration? Is it all right if I didn't take the photos myself? I have a ton of questions and any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I picked up an old globe for a friend who loves maps at a vintage store for a Christmas gift. It's one of those tin ones that the Ohio Art Company used to make (still makes? not sure, but they're the ones who created Etch-A-Sketch), and when I bought it I didn't look too closely at the actual boundary lines ofthe countries. When I gave it to my friend he really liked it, but pointed out that parts of the globe contradicted each other. Palestine had turned into Israel, which should place it after WWII, but Thailand and Myanmar are still Siam and Burma, Africa is made up of mostly European colonies (I thought it was mostly de-colonized after WWI?), and Manchuria is it's own country. It's like someone cobbled together parts of different maps and painted it on this globe to confuse some poor little schoolkid.

Can anyone explain this really weird map? Date it, maybe, or give a reason why the people at the Ohio Art Company clearly didn't have a grasp on geography?

The drama club at school is in the planning stages for the spring play, and we're having a meeting tomorrow to choose a play to perform. It's been agreed that we are DEFINITELY going to do a modern drama with a small cast, but we don't really have any good ideas. So far some suggestions are The Laramie Project and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but those plays might not be the best to perform- The Laramie Project will be difficult to stage and perform without the audience getting bored, and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof has the potential to seem dated and will have to be heavily edited to make it even borderline PG-13.

Help! We need ideas for tomorrow, and we're stumped! For the past four years (at least) all we've done is period comedies, so we don't want to get in over our heads, but we also don't want to put on a play that is actually a comedy with a few dramatic elements thrown in.

Does anyone know when the DVD version of Marie Antoinette will be released in the US? I really liked it and now want to have a Marie Antoinette-viewing/junk-food-eating/costume-wearing birthday party in May (I know, I'm obsessed. I just want to have an excuse to wear those really big hoopskirts they had!).

What did you think of it? I really liked it, especially the Kara/Leoben storyline. I'm excited for this season!