Clarissa

I am confused as to what to do - my husband and I recently reconciled and between the two of us, we have $40,000 in unsecured credit card debt. Although he makes very good money, approx. $3900 per month, we cannot keep up on all the minimum payments for these cards, let alone trying to pay the principal.

He has a car payment and we own our house (or we will in 27 years anyway :) - we have not been late on the mortgage as that is our top priority. We also have 4 kids...... should we file? We figure since we have the house and vehicles that we can deal with the bad, bad credit that this will result in but are we forgetting something?

We considered a debt consolidation but we heard this is more often then not a scam and ruins your credit as much as or more then a bankruptcy. Any advice is appreciated ~ thank you.

I read that you should try to negotiate lower interest rates with credit card companies but when I tried, they basically said bite me. So the next thought was researching debt consolidation services but those look a bit sketchy.

I read that those debt places can "negotiate" the rate down to 9% but my question is how? If they are basically buying my loan from me, what makes the credit card companies NOT say 'bite me' to them like they did to me? And I also heard that the debt consolidation ruins your credit too....and help is appreciated.

I have a friend who seems to be stalking her and always know who is at her house and when and we are trying to figure out how.....Google Earth gives images that are about 4 years old for our area. I am told if you pay extra you get better images.

Is it possible he is doing this and actually able to watch her house thru the satellite on his computer? He also seems to always know where she is - could he have put a GPS on her car? Happens too often to be coincidence.....

My friend says an old friend of hers often makes comments about how he is watching her........from a satellite on his computer and always seems to know where she is. I thought it might be just from him driving by her house and following her but she thinks because he is a bit of a computer geek that he may be watching her house from a satellit....is that possible?

We downloaded Google Earth but the images were at least 4 years old....can just anyone attach a GPS to her car and track her? Or watch a live feed of her home?

Here's the story...my husband and I have been separated for a year and a half. We have 3 kids (and I have 1 from a prev. marriage). He left us 2 1/2 years ago (2/05) for no apparent reason, hooked up with his high school gf and was gone for 6 weeks, then we got back together. He stayed for another year and then left again (3/06). He had started drinking again in 2004 and the marriage went downhill after that. He is now in AA again. He lived with a woman for the past 6 months but recently asked her to move out and we started 'seeing' each other again.

I am not naive and see all the bad that he did but he seems to have really changed...he has been in counseling for the past year, etc.

The last time we got back together really fast and it was a mistake.....this time, I want to 'date' for a couple months and then see where we are at rather then rush in..... we have a big family together and I would like to see it back together.

My problem is my friends/fam are really negative.

I have posted a couple questions about this guy I am seeing. I told him recently how I felt in a letter since I never get a chance to talk to him in person (yes, I should have done it on the phone but I am a chicken sh*t). So he continues to text me but never mentioned anything. Most people said he was probably not interested in me that way ( I have 4 kids and live 90 min. away).

So I get a call from his brother last night who is a good friend and as we are talking, he tells me that he told him he really liked me...alot. I am beginning to feel like I am back in school! I could tell he wasn't just telling me to be nice but I am baffled.

If the man is interested, why in the hell is he acting like it's nothing? I was pretty much decided I was done playing games...and I have made several attempts to talk to him about it & I am done chasing him. Does this really change anything?

He text the other night and I didn't respond...I felt like he needs to grow a pair and man up....

I finally told this man I had been seeing that I was starting to fall for him - we have been seeing each other for about 5 months and there was some bs (my fault) where I acted like it was just a friend thing so I cleared the air and told him how I felt. I wrote a letter - he lives sort of far away and doesn't do phones very well and when I saw him in person, there were too many people around.

So after he got it, he went 24 hours with no contact and then txts each day to b.s. Never mentioned the letter. I know he got it and I told him I didn't expect anything from him which is why I haven't brought it up.....

I am confused. If he isn't interested knowing that I feel pretty strongly for him, why does he keep contacting me? Or why does he not mention it? I actually expected him to stop contacting me all together since I have 4 kids and figured the whole thing was too much.

Could use some guy input - is he just being nice?

As a mother of 4, my perspective on my own parents has changed....I realize now my Mom was protective because she loved me & didn't want me to get hurt....she was overbearing because she desperately wanted to be a part of my life....she made me do chores so I would learn responsiblty and a good work ethic.

When I was 14, I asked to live with my Dad, who let me run wild, do whatever I wanted, smoke, drink, etc.....well of course that was much better than the rules, etc. at home. She said no. I hated (using that word loosely) her for years for it but at some point in my 20's it occured to me, what would I have become had she let me go? And then I realized how lucky I was that she made the decision she did.....does anyone else have one of these? thanks

I want to be able to talk baseball - I like the A's and play softball but other then that, am a complete baseball nerd. What is some good, basic info to know about the A's - like World Series info, pitching, best or most notorious players?

Sorry if I sound like a dufus - it's because I am :-) thanks for any info......

My 19 year old neice went for a check-up and they found a large (not quite as big as a golf ball, but close) sized lump in her breast. She never did the exams and never noticed. No history of cancer in her family but she is a smoker and has been on birth control for a couple of years.

Is this common in such a young woman? Does this happen where is is non-malignant? They are taking her for an ultra-sound today but I am freaking and wondering how often this happens and if that size indicated malignancy or not. Anyone know about this or experience anything like it? thanks

ok, here's the deal....I get set up by a friend and we have been talking online for a couple months now....sometimes we talked a bit risque but we were getting to know each other. Then he said he was all talk - meaning sort of shy in person.

So I just met him for the first time tonight - we had dinner on his 'lunch' break (he works late). Things went fine - got along, laughing, etc. So when he dropped me off, we were both quiet for a minute because we had talked earlier in the day about meeting later tonight but hadn't mentioned it since we met. So I started to say something and then he did too....I laughed and took his hand, pretty much repeating all the stuff that he had said online and teasing him about how shy he was and then he kissed me!

I wasn't shocked or offended or anything I just haven't been on a date in ten years :-) so I forgot how it works. I assume since I grabbed his hand first that was a definite sign? lol - sorry to sound like a dope, but I am!

So I have asked alot of questions lately regarding a man I have been seeing who lives 90 min. away. Long story short, I think he is afraid of having a relationship and the last time we spent the weekend together, I referred to us as 'just screwing' or FWB and he seemed offended.

I am a single mother of 4 and he has no kids - our lives are very different. I was in his town last weekend and he called and we talked but he never came to see me. I just figured I would write him off but then he txt as soon as I was home trying to make sure I arrived ok. Had I seen him, I was prepared to tell him that I had lied when I told him that all he meant to me was sex ( was insecure and trying to protect myself so I didn't admit to having more feelings.) I txt him yesterday saying I had hoped I would see him so we could talk and asked him to give me a call.....I have heard nothing. Not sure if I freaked him out and he is avoiding it or what..our mutual friend says he is crazy about me but imature

So Ty Pennington got pulled over for DUI..... read the attached statement he made: http://apnews.excite.com/article/20070507/D8OVQ7G0... He fu*ked up and he's sorry....he made a huge mistake.

Now compare this with Paris Hilton who has gotten nailed twice and still claimes it was her publicists fault (wtf??????) because even though the judge SUSPENDED HER LICENSE, but he (her publicist) told her it was okay to drive.........

I am merely pointing out the fact that here you can take two people who are celebrities and in the lime light.....and screw up. One sucks it up and says " I made a mistake - I am sorry" and the other says " I am Paris Hilton - my Daddy is a millionare so if you are going to send me to jail then it MUST BE discrimination" and I am looking everywhere for the barf bucket!!!!!

No question...just wondering if anyone else feels the same way......

I will try to make a long story short.....this guy I have been seeing lives 1 1/2 hrs. away. We see each other 2 x a month. We don't have any commitment & I got asked out by another guy & talked to him about it - he said he hadn't been in a relationship for so long, he forgot how & then grudgingly told me I could go. I decided not to but since he never asked, I haven't told him.

Then, because I was insecure, I referred to us as friends w/ benefits & he seemed sort of upset. The truth is, I care about him very much & never saw us as FIB but said that because I figured that's what he was after ( & didn't want to get rejected).

Things have cooled off since then but I am going to see him again today &I don't know if I should come clean & tell him that I wasn't truthful when I acted like he was just a piece of a** or let it go. He seems to not enjoy talking about 'us' (what guy does? :) but I feel like I screwed up. Should I tell him he means more than that to me or will it scare him

I guess I'm a bit naive but I wanted to know what facts contribute to people thinking 9/11 was staged? Am I missing something? I realize people have all sorts of wacky theories but I am assuming there are some basic criteria for them to say this. I have found many sites that go on and on about coincidences but it's all so random......

Also, I am confused about the #7 building....what happened to it and why is it so suspicious?

I have been seeing this guy who lives 90 min. away....he has a baseball game tonight and I want to surprise him and show up to watch him. ( I was at his game last week but he knew I would be there.) Do you think this is a good idea? I know that he doesn't see anyone else so it's not like another woman would be there...........

From a guy's perspective, would this show you that I care, I mean driving 3 hrs. round trip or would it make you feel weird? thanks....

I am wondering what's going on.....my bf seems to ejaculate really fast, and I can never tell exactly when he does because he doesn't stop or look/sound different and then he keeps going and it throws me off completely.....does this happen often? Seems like he can stay hard afterwards and I wish I could tell when he was 'done'. He just seems to rush thru the wholething - lol.

Anything I can do or say to slow him down a bit? And then he keeps going and I am not even close so it is sort of awkward. And I always have to ask him if he orgasmed......not used to being this much of a dufus in the bedroom ~ thanks for any advice.

I am a 33 year old single mother of 4 and I am constantly trying to be strong and get my life together. My ex husband left about a year ago..........I find that no matter how hard I try, I feel empty inside unless I am seeing someone. I try to see how blessed I am but get depressed and irritable and basically unhappy, but then if I am seeing someone, I am happy and eager to do things I normally am not.

Why is that? I know I need to feel really good about myself regardless of whether a man is interested in me but I still have these feelings and wonder how many other women do......this is not something I would normally admit :-) but isn't that the whole point of Yahoo answers?

I am wondering how to show my Bf (well, sort of...long story) how to be better in bed. He is really fast and does practically no foreplay. I try to slow him down but it's difficult......I didn't want to say the wrong thing but I think I did.

The last time he spent the weekend with me, on the final day after a 3 minute quickie that left me more sexually frustrated then ever, I told him I couldn't orgasm like 'that', he seemed offended so obviously I had hurt his feelings a bit but what do I do? I don't want to make him feel any more insecure then I sure I already did.....

He is inexperienced so I think he can be trained, so to speak, but I am at a loss as to how to do it. I am totally open for him to tell me what he likes and wants and right as we were starting to get hot & heavy I asked him what he wanted and he stammered "He just likes to let things happen'' - he's still shy.........help!!!!

I've been seeing this guy we had a conversation where it appeared that he was a bit upset because I thought the relationship was a friends-with-benefits type and he may have considered it more (but he never told me...well, maybe with his actions but I didn't pick up on them.) I was definitely doing a little CYA with my emotions because I was afraid to get rejected....

Anyway, I got asked out on a date by another guy and talked to him about it and he grudgingly told me I could go (lol) with the other guy......everything was fine and then we didn't talk for about 4 days. I realized I really had no interest in the other guy but felt silly putting my life on hold if there is no future with him. I finally txt him and said "I miss you" and he responded like everything was fine but never said it back.

So I am wondering if a guy who had an ego blow like I unintentionally gave him would pull in the reigns, so to speak.....because he has told me he missed me before, but it seems like it's a struggle for him to verbalize. And I think he is scared about having feelings but I am not sure....I catch him looking at me like he wants to say something and then he doesn't. You'd think we were friggin' teenagers, huh? Sorry to sounds pathetic - lol.