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What's the best way to 'show' a not-so-good lover what to do?
I am wondering how to show my Bf (well, sort of...long story) how to be better in bed. He is really fast and does practically no foreplay. I try to slow him down but it's difficult......I didn't want to say the wrong thing but I think I did.
The last time he spent the weekend with me, on the final day after a 3 minute quickie that left me more sexually frustrated then ever, I told him I couldn't orgasm like 'that', he seemed offended so obviously I had hurt his feelings a bit but what do I do? I don't want to make him feel any more insecure then I sure I already did.....
He is inexperienced so I think he can be trained, so to speak, but I am at a loss as to how to do it. I am totally open for him to tell me what he likes and wants and right as we were starting to get hot & heavy I asked him what he wanted and he stammered "He just likes to let things happen'' - he's still shy.........help!!!!
I am sort of insecure myself so I'm not trying to point the finger totally at him but I am really open to stuff and he seems painfully shy about sex (he was brought up religious). We are both 33, btw.....not kids or anything. I am trying to find a way to get him to kiss a bit better and play, like foreplay, and slow down a bit.......without crushing him. I know I sort of snapped when I told him I was totally sexually frustrated so I took a couple steps back instead of forward so I need to know the right way - thx
9 Answers
- miester44Lv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
Clarissa, I have some sites for the BOTH of you to look at and tell him you would like to learn together......together is the key he might be inexperianced but you might learn a few things too.
Source(s): http://www.sexinfo101.com/fp_index.shtml http://www.sex-and-relationships.com/pages/LH/fore... http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip/sextip18.html http://healthiersexlives.com/forplay-advice.html http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/topic... http://www.sexguideforme.com/foreplayadvice.php - 1 decade ago
talk sex with him. start with maybe talking about fantasies and stuff that you like. being open about sex it the best thing you can do in a relationship, but i'm sure you know that. i think starting with is there anything you ever wanted to try o do you have any fantasies will get te ball rolling. and then you could be like i love it when a guy starts out really slow and then kisses me gently ect ect. basically just tell him what you are into. and then ask him what he likes or is into.
i hope this helps.
- 1 decade ago
Try asking him to give you a massage. Tell him to take his time, and do a lot of things before actually having sex. He just has to learn that getting there is half the fun and you have to lead by example. Learn to make love TO him, not just being passive and waiting for him to do something. He will follow.
- 1 decade ago
the time to talk to him about it is not when your having or just had sex you need to bring it up when you are just sitting around talking see i don't think that he realizes or knows that it takes women longer than it does men to reach their climax.well you could always but your finger on the button so to speak while he his doing his thing and let him feel what its like to have sex when his lady is experiencing the big O.Have you ever told him that you might like receiving oral of course if he is as inexperienced as you say you will have to coach him a little.it takes time for us guys to learn how to treat you ladies the way you need to be treated hopefully his ego won't be so big that he won't listen to you.
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- 1 decade ago
First...before you try the actual "training" process...you have to tell him..."Babe, we are going to do something different." Explain that it isn't that you don't "like" him...or that you feel that HE is in need of "something different"...but rather, put it on yourself...tell him that YOU would like to try something different...that you are interested in trying this...or that...WITH him. I think he will "go along" with the "training" in a positive way if you say it like that.
