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Its so bad I am almost ready to go out an crap in the weeds! I have been holding it in for almost 2 hours! It feels good to hold it in but I am just about to bust! What can I do?

I was playin my Wii an I got SO MAD at a game I was playin that I bit my arm real hard an made it bleed an then I picked up my bank full of coins an throwed it at the TV. It broke the front of the TV an sparked an stuff. I figured mom an dad would just buy me a new one. I was mortafied, they said I was a idiot an they was NOT going to buy me one an I just figured I would tell mamaw an papaw that my TV screen busted an they would buy me one but mom called an told them what happened an told them not to buy me one! Mom an dad an mamaw an papaw is the stupidest people on earth!

I am in a band called the Harley Davidson @ss Kickers. I hate the name but I was out voted, I wanted to either call the band Kennedy & Shaffer after my friend Franklin an me, or sense their was more members I wanted to call us the Anus Holes.

So I wrote a ALLSOME song an had a great idea for are video an I figured sense I had let them name the band they could of at least let my song been are first single!

It would start off with the five of us standing togethor on stage talking these lyrics:

Rah Rah Rah

Row Row Row

Kiss Your Mommy

An Let It Go

Hey!

Then the music would start an I would jump to the front an start the main singing part:

I kissed my mommy

An I want no more of this town

The guys all said it was the most retarted thing they had ever herd, they want are first single to be a stupid, ignorent song they wrote called "Gettin Drunk an Havin a Piece Of Pussy" an we would all be on stage an rip are shirts off an it is so ignorent, we would be singing about sex (we're all virgins) an drinking alcohol an smoking cigarettes (an none of us has ever done any of that stuff).

But, as usual I was out voted again so now there basically kicking me out of my own band an told me I was a fagit with no talent an when they win CMA Entertainer Of The Year there gonna perform "Gettin Drunk An Havin A Piece Of Pussy" an then tell every one on live TV that I am a fagit!

I just want my band back, called the Anus Holes, an I want to do my Rah Rah song but these guys is ignorent!

Are summer school teacher for English is a total anus hole, she is a whore an a slut an I hate her all ready. She is SO mean! She was taking role an when she called my name she was like "Arnold Shaffer, I've all ready herd all about you, you're about to be a freshmen for the 4th time. Have they tested you for being retarted?" OMG when she said that I just kept looking straight a head an tried not to let it get to me but the tears came rollin in an I started to cry. Then she was like "I have a report here that you are not to be let out of class for any reason whatsoever, so I suggest you go to the bathroom an get a drink an whatever you need to do before class. I also see that your a disruptive student..." an she was about to say something else but I couldn't help it I farted, long an loud. Her face got red an she totally blowed up. I sat their bawling an now I don't want to come back. My life is so unfair.

1. If something has been burned up, is their any way to like restore it? My dad an I had a fight an he tore down my Pokemon poster an throwed it in the fire. Is their any way to get the ashes an have them restored into my poster? It was a special poster, it had my name on it an stuff, I got it when I was 7 an it was special to me.

2. Is their any way to save dog farts in a sack? My dog Sandy (her name was supposed to be Ninja Poop Dingleberry but my retarted mom said that was stupid even though it was hilarious so we had to name her Sandy which is total gay) has the most rotten stinkin gas today an I would love to save her farts in a sack an let them loose!

3. Does terds have DNA in them? I was in Wall Mart this smorning an I had to poop real bad an I went in the bathroom an sat down on the toilet to take a crap an I felt it like going on the floor an then I realized I had taken my whole crap on the floor, I was kind of side ways on the toilet an none of it went in the bowl but it was a accident but I don't want to go to jail or any thing.

I was mad an upset cause we went to Wall Mart an I didnt get NOTHING, no Pokemon cards or Legos or NOTHING cause I failed my school an was held back again so I will be a freshmen for the 4th time next year.

Welp, we was standing in line an I was doing everything I could to keep from crying. I felt a big toot coming on an I kind of stuck my butt out an leaned over to spread my butt cheeks but I was not ovious about it an I let a HUGE silent smelly fart while we was waiting to check out.

Welp, the smell came rollin in an dad blowed up. He was MAD. He asked me if I $**** my pants an then yelled an made me go with him to the bathroom an people was starin an following us. We went in a stall an he made me pull my undershorts down to prove I had not crapped my pants an he yelled an screamed at me!

Welp, we went back to the line an dad kept yelling about how I was a how an how I had poop in my butt cause I forgot to wipe after I pooped last time. I stood their trying to pretend like I didnt hear him but the tears came rollin in an I stood their bawlin. An dad then started to yell at me over that! So then he stood their in front of every body yelling at me cause I failed my school, forgot to wipe my butt, farted in line an Wall Mart an I am lazy!

I am so humiliated an mortafied, their was a couple of kids form school their, at least school is out. My dad is a fagit, what can I do to get some revenge on him for this?

We went to the University Of Maine farm an I was scared to death, they had these animals their an they was makin all this noise an I was scared to death an started to cry an Mr. Hodgkins yelled at me!

Then to make it worst, we had to go to the University theater an see a play an they turned out the lights an it was dark in their an I started bawlin that I wanted to go home an I thought their was NO reason the bus couldnt take me home an go back, it wasnt even 50 miles but Mr. Hodgkins yelled at me again an I cried more!

After that we went to McDonals an I wanted a happy meal an Mr. Hodgkins said there for little kids I am 16 an need to eat off the adult menu an the tears came rollin in so I sat their an ate a berger with tears in my eyes.

On the way back we stopped at the air port, we went up in this tower an I almost got out of the line! I had to pee real bad but didnt know where the bathrooms was so I just let a little bit of pee out to kind of like loosen the pressure. I did that a few times an felt better but then some kid started laughin at me cause I had a huge pee stain on my pants cause I had total finished peeing!

I cried all the way back to school, I didnt want to go on the field trip any way! Why are they aloud to force me to go on a stupid field trip when I dont want to go!

Every Friday night after dinner I go in my room, close the door an get out my yearbooks. I will then pick one girl from school an like pretend a fantasy an this is the best part of my whole week.

Today I am either thinking of putting my little basket ball thing on my door an pretending I am a basket ball player an Emily Woods is at the game watching me an she is in love with me an I am the best player in the game an then I go to a club to unwind an Emily is their singing on stage an she is total after me!

Or I want to be like hosting a game show an Michelle Tomasello is their an she is like "Arnold is so hot an so hilarious, I wish he was my bf so we could do sex stuff" an then she would be after me an after the show I go to the club for a drink an stuff!

I have so much fun doing this every Friday night cause I dont have a gf an I dont have any friends anymore sense I failed my school an doing my fantasy time I can feel like their is girls after me an that I am allsome instead of being a looser!

It started this smorning, I had been awake sense around midnight playin Super Mario World 3D on my Wii U but I fell a sleep like 10 minutes before I had to leave for school! I had left my clothes on so I was all ready dressed form yesterday an just barely caught the bus!

I had to poop real bad an didnt get to go before school, so I was fartin an stinkin up the bus all the way to school an Gerald hit me real hard in the back of my head. I tried to just sit their an act like I didnt notice it, but the tears came rollin in but I just sat their an looked outside.

I went in the boys bathroom an sat down on the toilet to take a crap an herd Mark Kerner talking, he has beat me up before for stinkin up the bus stop an the class room so I held in my terds an didnt move till he left then I pooped but it was little ritchies, no big thick terd loafs.

I had a bellyache in first period an throwed up an I was so mortafied I just sat their hoping no one noticed but every one was looking at me cause I was covered in barf all down the front of my shirt an then I started to cry.

I went to the office an they gave me a ugly shirt to wear. Every one was laughing at me an then in third period the blocked up crap came out an I pooped my pants in class an everyone was makin fun of me an calling me retard.

In 5th period I tore a fart off clear back past the corner of my asshole an didnt realize Mark Kerner was right behind me, he hit me in the belly so hard I started to cry.

Worst day ever!

Are song is called "Hobnobbin Real Good (An A Chit Chat Hat)" an the video is gonna be ALLSOME, We are gonna set up a stage in my back yard an have a bunch of girls form school be in the audiance an they will be screaming for me an Stephen an Ralph an we will be on stage being so allsome. I am gonna clip a micraphone on the back of my jeans so it will pick up my farts an Stephen said he would throw up on stage! Ralph said some one should crap in the video an I want to get some big fat naked black women with huge butts to take laxatives an then stand in the yard an bend over an fart an crap diarea! Ralph said he may take a live baby bird an eat it on stage an Stephen wants to run naked acrossed the stage so the girls can see his penus. I also want shots of horses lifting their tails an farting an maybe end the video with me takin a pee. I would like some still shots of cow poop an stuff. I dont want nothing real gross, like no womans breasts or pee holes, only butts of the big fat black women farting an crapping diarea. At one point like during the guitar solo I would like the camera to be behind me an I am facing Samantha Cox an I pull down my pants an my undershorts an you can see my bear butt from behind an Samantha looks down between my legs an just goes crazy an passes out. OMG that would be so hot. You couldnt see my sctual pecker, just my back an bear butt but Samantha would see it. Could I post are video on You Tube?

Every time I leave my friend Aarons house I sneak in the garage an pee an fart. I dont do it in the house cause his sister is their an I want her to be my gf so I dont want her hearing me pee an fart. But anyway, their is mold growing on the wall right in the spot I pee in! Can this mold be cause form me peeing in their?

Chris an Enis is two guys in my first period class an I came up with halarious nick names for them: Enis The Penus an Chris The Piss. So now that is what I call them all the time but Mrs. Renteria heard me an she got furious an made me aplolagize to them an gave me detention! That is NOT fair! I have been calling them that ALL YEAR! Their is 1 week of school left an NOW I get detention! How ignorence. Well, before the week is over she is gonna get a suprise in her purse. When I was in middle school Mr. Ackley made me have detention on the LAST DAY of school an I crapped a big terd loaf right in his middle desk drawer! Mrs. Renteria is next!

"I need to take a pause" or "I need to go sit down an take me a hobnob real good" but no one thinks its funny or cute an I am so flustrated! The only time I ever got a laugh was when I said "I need to go sit down on the toilet an take an Obama" cause he is the presedent an he is black an his skin is the same color as my poop! A couple of kids laughed when I did that!

I am a hilarious comedien an like during Friday night fantasy time I was pretending I was a stand up comedien an I was doing a performance at a theater an their was like 50,000 people their an one of them was Heather Kroll an I put in a CD of Aziz Ansari an was pretending it was me telling the jokes an Heather was like "Arnold is so hilarious, I wish he was my bf" an stuff.

I have this little bump on my bag just under my worm an its soar but I am afraid to tell mom an dad. I know its not S.T.D. cause I have never done any sex stuff but I masterbait a lot an it might be from that.

I also had diarea this smorning an I am hoping it holds on long enough that I dont have to go to school tomarrow.

Samantha Cocks should just admit that she wants to be my girl friend. She is still calling me Creetin.

That might of been the biggest flaggeration of my life (flaggeration is the science term for tooting or farting) but their was barely any smell to it. I recorded it though.

One time last year I pooped my pants at Stephens house an hid my poopy shorts under his bed. I dont know if they was ever found.

This is such a load of crap! The principle said he is gonna have a confrence with my parents an I had to go get all my grades on a peace of paper, an I am failing all 7 of my classes. The principle was MAD an he said he doesn't know why I even bother to come to school why I just don't quit school!

You have to get like credits when you pass a class, you have to have 6 to go from freshmen to sophmore, 12 to go from sophmore to junior, 18 to go form junior to senior an 21 to graduate! I have been in this school for three years an I have 3 credits so I have been a freshmen for 3 years! I am so mortafied I could scream!

I am gonna be grounded all summer, an my dad will work me like a n*gg*r slave, I will have to mow the lawn AN keep my room clean an I will have my Wii an my computron (that's the cool name I call my computer) taken away an I will have to go to summer school again but I failed all my classes at summer school last year to!

I wish mom an dad an the principle an the teachers would understand that I am TO TIRED to deal with this stuff! If my whole life is school work I'd rather be dead! I like to come home an go to sleep until about 11:30 or midnight an then I stay up an play video games an do some unwinding after a hard day of school! I am always bein yelled at for not bathing or brushing my teeth or changing my clothes but I'm not made of time an I just have so much to do I can't do it all but no one understands that!

What can I do? Someone help, please!

My dad is gonna work me like a ni**er slave this summer! I have to help him mow the lawn AN keep my room clean! Now he says I need to get a summer job baggin groceries at the grocery store! OMG he has no idea how tired I am after a hard year of school plus I am prolly gonna fail again so I will have to go to summer school other wise I can't graduate before I am 21 an that would just be that much more I have to do!

I had my perfect summer planned, I was gonna get up every day around 1 PM an hang out with my friends until about 4, then they have summer jobs so I was gonna go home an sleep until about midnight then get up an stay up all night until like 6 AM an then go back to sleep until 1 PM! It was perfect!

Now my summer is ruined, all I will be doing is working an I prolly won't even have time to sit down an crap!

My life is a humbug!

I didnt get my mom nothing for mothers day so dad made me go with her to the mothers day tea an I was humiliated! I was the only boy their an I was the only teenager their, it was all like little girls!

Well, I was SO BOARD I started ricking silent farts until the last one it was a huge, loud, beefy fart an it was smelly an then one of the other mothers got mad an said I had stunk the whole room up with my farts!

So I started bawling cause that women was bullying me, an then I realized that 2 of the motgers that was their was mothers of kids I know at school that has younger sisters! So last night it was all over Face Book that I was farting an bawling at the mothers day tea for little girls! I am humiliated an mortafied an wish I was dead!

I like to do this thing every Friday night after a long week of school. I go in my bedroom an turn the lights on an close the door, an then get out my yearbooks an pick a girl out. Like last night it was Caitlin. Then I will pretend that I am like a singer or a comedy guy or a basket ball player. Last night I put my little basket ball hoop over my door an played a pretend game, an pretended that Caitlin was their watching me an she was like "Arnold is so hot, he is the star of the game" an I was like the best player in the game an stuff an I was like pretending I had a basket ball shirt on an it said BULLS right acrossed their. So I made a bunch of baskets an stuff an then the game was over an we won.

So then I pretended I went to a club to get a drink an unwind form the game, an Caitlin was their an she was on stage singing You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift an she was like totally into me an I was like not really even noticing her cause I had stuff on my mind from the game an stuff. Then I pretend like we kind of make up an we end up going back to my hotel room an stuff.

Then I go take a shower an masterbait an pretend I am doing sex stuff with the girl I have been thinking about an then when I get a feeling an stuff comes out I feel better cause I am actual a looser an have never had a girl friend or done any sex stuff with any girls.

Well, I told Stephen in confedence about my Friday night fantasy time an he told Eric an Eric told EVERY BODY at school............

Me an Ralph have been gonna have a band for like years, sense we was 13. I wanted to call are band Kennedy & Shaffer, an then we would have a back up band, but then Stephen wanted to join to!

So Stephen an Ralph like kind of took over the whole thing! They decided to call the band the Harley Davidson @ss Kickers! I thought that was GAY! I wanted to do fun songs an stuff that people would laugh an sing a long, an they want to do like songs about women an Chevy trucks an beer an none of us has a girl friend an none of us drives or has ever even tasted beer!

So this smorning we had a major arguemant an Stephen an Ralph said they was leaving the band an starting there own version of the Harley Davidson @ss Kickers! They said I should just go solo an sing my ignorent songs an when they win the CMT Entertainer of the Year award there going to go on stage an tell everyone that I am a fagit an have no talent!

I am humiliated an my dreams of being a country music singer is dead! I was just about to start taking guitar lessons, Ralph is already taking fiddle lessons an Stephen said he could play the trombone cause thats what he plays in the skool marching band but their is no country songs with trombones in them so I think there stupid.

I wanted to do hilarious songs about poop an farts, not about women an Chevy trucks an beer. I had even started writing the lyrics to some songs when we broke up!

What can I do? I don t want them to make fun of me an I want my band back!

The last 3 times I felt a huge flaggeration (thats the science word for toot or fart) coming on, I would push it out an it was hilarious, loud an smelly, but as soon as the flaggeration came out so did a terd or diarea!

Mom an dad yelled at me cause they said I am to old to crap my pants when I am 16 but it was a real accident!

An I dont want to go do flaggeration in the toilet in case I crap cause then I cant share it with my school mates!

This has upset me very much, I want to rip a great big fart in class an laugh when people gags an covers there noses but I dont want them to laugh at ME when I poop my pants! What can I do in this allfull situation?

OMG I am so embareassed, I had my pants unzipped all day an no one said any thing till we was in Mr Costigan's class an I went to get out of my desk an looked down an could see my underwear (I wear tighty whities) threw my zipper! I screamed an zipped my pants an Mr. Costigan was like "Arnold, why are you screaming, your pants was unzipped when you came in an they was unzipped this smorning when you got to home room, people has been laughing at you all day!"

This upset me so bad I went to the boys bath room an I cried an cried an throwed up. I am the laughing stalk of the school, as usual, an now my friends is ignoring me!