?

I met another alum of my university through our local university club; we're in a small group of alumni that meets for career benefits.

I'm a straight guy, and the other alum took some time away to finish a graduate degree and then is now back in town. I'm a lawyer, and I gave her some guidance on negotiating her employment agreement for a new and very high-paying job that she got, although she paid another lawyer to do most of the work.

She emailed me to say, "I'm back in town and wondered if you want to catch up sometime." I said sure, and then she emailed to set up dinner at a nice restaurant nearby soon.

So...

Is this a date?

Is this a thank-you for the legal guidance I gave, with her paying?

Or is this just two friends catching up?

She's nice, although I don't know her well. Usually I'd think that a drink at our university club would probably be more normal for a first get-together among friends.

Thanks.

I'm a mid-career lawyer in a mid-sized firm. I get pretty consistent good reviews, and referrals of more business, from clients.

There is one client, however, who is very unpleasant, and he doesn't even pay his bills, either on time or in full. The client works with my boss (a partner) and me (counsel). He has complained about me over and over to my boss (another lawyer) (in my view, to get his bills reduced), and he has complained about my boss to my boss, but he keeps coming back to me alone; he doesn't even copy my boss on emails.

I can't stand working with him; he's mean, disorganized and is one of the rare few clients who doesn't want to "do the right thing". Since he complains about me, surely it's best that someone else in the firm be the point person for him; given the level of his complaints, I'm surprised that he hasn't left for another law firm.

Would it be unreasonable if I go to my boss and ask to discuss who else in the firm I could transition the client to? It seems like that would be a win/win: someone else in the firm might be able to please him, and the firm's risk of losing the client would be reduced. Wouldn't just explaining that to my boss be wise?

Thanks.

I had terrible experiences repeatedly at one quick-serve restaurant chain (the Panera at 452 Fifth Ave, NYC- see the Yelp reviews).

Items would be missing from my orders, and the last time I went, I had placed an online order. I went to pick it up, and the staff told me that they had received the order but just didn't want to make it. I was promised a refund, but the manager refunded only part of the order.

I asked Panera customer service for a refund of the remainder. They said that they'd send me a gift card by email in the same amount. It never arrived (and I checked my spam filters). I asked again, and they said that since they sent a gift card, I was ineligible for a refund back to my credit card.

So I'm out a few dollars. It's only a few dollars, but this location is TERRIBLE, and it's not right to charge someone for food that the person doesn't receive.

Would you file a Better Business Bureau complaint if you were in my shoes?

Again, check out the Yelp reviews.

Thanks.

I'm an informal advisor to a startup. My university (where I graduated 20 years ago) asked me to put together and moderate a panel of startups and investors. I had mentioned prior panels to the startup that I advise, but the CEO said that she wasn't ready, so I didn't ask her for this one.

Someone else on the upcoming panel mentioned the panel to the CEO, and the CEO wrote me:

"I'm told that you might be going to [University Name] for an event and that maybe I should tag along; could you let me know if you're planning that, since I'd really like to join!"

Does this mean, "please invite me to be a panelist"?

The panel is full, so I'll just have to let her know that we'll have other panels in the future and I'd be honored if she'd like to join them. Is that a good approach?

Thanks.

If a chain store offered you a gift card, without your asking, due to bad service before, and then didn't send it, would you be irked?

My local chain restaurant was TERRIBLE for a long time (forgetting items in my orders, short-changing me, etc.), and it lost me as a customer.

I saw that the location might be under new management, and so I asked the main customer service team if it was. They asked why I was asking, and I listed all of the huge problems with the location.

They then said, "Sorry, and we'll send you a gift card and you'll receive it within 48 hours by email, to win you back, even though you didn't ask for that."

They never sent the gift card.

Would you:

(1) Consider it a nice offer even though you never got it and go back to being a customer anyway;

(2) Ask where the gift card was; or

(3) Do nothing and keep staying away from the location?

Thanks.

When Hillary was asked about her server being wiped clean, she gave a snarky answer: "with a cloth?" "I don't know".

But it turns out that not only was Hillary's server wiped clean, but phones of her associates were also wiped clean as well.

Why does Hillary continue to give half-answers and legalistic responses about her emails? Why doesn't she just tell the whole truth? The longer she keeps giving partial truths, the worse it'll be for her.

I voted for her in 2008. I won't be voting for her this time.

I went to the CVS pharmacy and got a prescription filled. The pharmacist didn't ask for my ExtraCare card, and the screen at check-out didn't ask for it either. My receipt has "Get an ExtraCare Card!" on it, but not my info.

Is there a way to still apply this purchase towards my ExtraCare account; can I perhaps go online and type in the receipt information and have it "count"?

Thanks.

I'd like to wear one of the mainstream Presidential candidates' T-shirts to the gym (think Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Hillary, Carly Fiorina- NOT Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, etc.).

I go at 5:30am when the gym isn't really crowded, and I run and lift weights.

I wouldn't wear a political T-shirt when it's time for a general election since partisan feelings are higher, but OK to do so way before the primaries start?

I figure that people in the other party won't care since they're focused on their own candidates, and people in my party won't care because we're all friends at the end of the day.

So...is this OK?

Thanks.

This situation doesn't seem right to be, but I'm not married, and so I seek your thoughts, please!

My aunt and uncle have been married for 40+ years. My uncle is--to put it nicely--a jerk, in my view.

My uncle has started spending time halfway across the country in an RV, in the same location for now months on end. My aunt and cousin have traditionally joined him for part of the time, and his guy friends join him for other times.

Last year, he and my aunt and cousin went to the RV. My cousin let me know that my uncle was mean to her and my aunt and was a "total buzzkill" during the trip.

This year, my uncle is spending 4 months in the RV. My aunt is spending just 2 weeks there. My cousin isn't going at all.

My mother asked my aunt if she's sad or glad when my uncle is gone. My aunt answered, "that's a loaded question" and didn't answer.

So...is my uncle having marital problems? Or are there other problems here? Seems odd to spend 4 months mostly away from family.

I went to visit my parents this weekend on a last-minute trip. My parents had already scheduled friends to come visit while I was there. I was tired, looked awful and had work to do, so I told my mother that even though it'd be politer for me to say hi, I'd stay in another part of the house and work, and wouldn't say hello.

The friends came to visit for a few hours for dinner. I worked and was happy.

My mother then told me that she had announced to everyone that I was in the house, working, while they were there, and that she had asked me to join them but that I had refused.

How embarrassed would you be if you were me? (Yes, I know that I should have come out and said hello to everyone, but I thought that they wouldn't know that I was there.)

Thanks.

I went for a last-minute trip to visit my parents. They had already made plans to have their friends for dinner. I was too tired and had too much work to do, so I told my mother that I'd just work in another part of the house during dinner. I told my mother that I wouldn't come say hello to their friends, as I looked terrible and would make a bad impression, although I told her that I knew it was polite to say hello. I even parked far away so that nobody would see an extra car and figure I was there.

So...during dinner, I stayed in my bedroom and worked. It was perfect.

Mother let me know, the next day, that she had told everyone that she had invited me to come to dinner, that I had declined, and that I was in another part of the house, working, while they ate. Their friends asked, "would it take a committee to get [me] to come eat with them?"

I'm mortified. If I knew that they knew I was in the house, I would have gotten dressed up and come down and spoken. I feel like a rude jerk, although it would have been fine if my mother had simply not said anything.

So...was my mother rude? (I know I was, but if the friends hadn't known that I was there, there couldn't have been any offense.)

Thanks.

I am doing a last-minute trip to visit my parents this weekend. They'd already planned to have 6 of their friends (who I know) over for dinner.

I don't want to join them for dinner; they're all a generation senior to me, and they're all couples and I'm single. I like them, however. I'd rather get some work done, run errands or just read a book.

So is it more polite for me to:

1. Leave the house while they're having dinner and get my parents not to mention my visit to them?

2. Stay in the house and just stay in a different part of the house (they wouldn't know that I'm there)?

3. Say hello to everyone and then go to a different part of the house or run errands?

My mother says that 3 is the most polite. I find it rude. I think it best just to not even let them know that I'm there.

Thoughts please. Thanks.

Democrats shriek that concerns about Hillary Clinton not telling the truth about using her own email server for State Department emails, and about Benghazi, are just partisan games, but Hillary's poll numbers are taking a hit.

Why can't Hillary just tell the truth about both items? Wouldn't that be easier?

During the GOP debate, Carly Fiorina said that Hillary Clinton lied about her emails and use of her own server.

Democrats went crazy.

Why can't they just acknowledge that Hillary Clinton was not always truthful in her claims that she made about use of her own private email server when serving as Secretary of State?

I have a pretty good-sized office. When you enter, there are 2 comfortable chairs between my desk and the door. My desk faces the door, and there is a large space behind my desk, with a bookcase and a table there.

When people come into my office, usually they sit in the chairs or stand between the desk and the door.

One junior co-worker comes in and comes to the side of my desk. He even then usually proceeds back behind my desk, where I'm sitting, and faces the door when talking to me. He can see all of my personal stuff, under my desk, on the bookcase, etc.

I don't like that. I've even lined up my trash can and recycling bin by the side of my desk, to block him from coming behind my desk, but he just stepped over them.

Am I wrong/weird to view coming behind my desk, without express permission, as an invasion of personal space?

Thanks.

My parents have my favorite dog ever. I LOVE her and she seems to go wild whenever I visit, which is once a month.

My parents are going on vacation and will put the dog in a kennel. She doesn't mind the kennel; I've picked her up and dropped her off there.

My parents had asked that I take a week off and dog-sit and house-sit while they're gone. I have to work most of the time, so I can't.

I proposed that my parents send the dog to visit me. It's a 90 minute flight (direct) on United and there is a United pet program that takes care of pets in flight. The cost is the same (or less) than the kennel would charge.

My mother says no, without giving a reason. She's very controlling and wants things her way.

So...unreasonable of me to ask? If I were the dog, I'd rather stay with a family member than in a kennel.

Thanks.

I have a friend who was recently let go from her job. He is very smart and savvy, and he has 3 degrees from Yale (college, law school and a PhD).

He says that in his jobs, his boss always expects him to be an amazing superstar and resents him because he's so smart.

That's baloney. Maybe a boss has higher expectations than he can fulfill, but nobody hires someone and then resents his intelligence right away.

Clearly my friend has a problem, and that problem is harming his ability to succeed in jobs.

Is there anything constructive that I can do or say when my friend makes these idiotic claims in the future?

Thanks.

My mother has a completely twisted view of how others view her. Time for a reality check? If so, how to give it to her?

1. My sister in law loathes my mother (and me). My mother is sad that my brother and SIL never invite her to visit, and when she visits anyway, the visits are required to be only very short. They ignore her requests to go on vacation together (and vacation with their friends). SIL also ignores my mother's phone calls and emails.

My mother says, "I haven't done anything wrong and I'm a perfect mother in law."

That doesn't matter, SIL loathes her (and me).

My mother also blames me for not visiting my brother and SIL more. (I'm not invited because SIL hates me.)

What to do?

2. My mother is a horrible cook. Her mother (my grandmother) tells people that she is, and word got back to my mother. When I visit my mother, she serves food that is inedible, and I almost never eat it.

My mother says, "I'm a great cook and when people say that I'm a bad cook, it's false."

Time for another reality check?

Not trying to be hurtful, but if my mother's view of herself matched others' views of her, then maybe she could address the causes of issues with people and have better relationships going forward. She's completely delusional, and that only results in continued bad relationships with people.

Let's say that you want to make breakfast for a family member (who didn't ask for it).

How about cooking oatmeal on the stove, adding fresh fruit to it...and then putting it into a mug and putting it into the refrigerator for at least 24 hours.

Is that appetizing? Would it taste good? Would you expect a family member to want to eat it?

Let's say you're a guy who's sitting (in first class) on a plane, wearing business attire, leaving from a work trip on a Saturday morning. Another guy sits down next to you and says, "I like to sit next to a good-looking girl, but instead I'm stuck next to a nerd!".

How would you respond?

(Throughout the flight, the other guy talked at a lot of people on the plane, asking them things like, "Hi, what's your story? Hi, what makes you happy?", etc. and tells ethnic jokes."

Is the guy polite?