cat lady

I have a tiny bathroom in a 25 year year old condo building. I'm on a VERY limited budget. Eventually I want to tear out and redo the bathroom but can't for at least a year. The room is tiny. The ceiling fan vents to nowhere and no way to change that. Moisture is an issue. The ceiling has been painted with kilz already. There are several superficial cracks, you can see where the nails went into the drywall. The paint is cracked all around the ceiling line next to the molding. Lowe's advised me to first sand the cracks, fill in with a Spackle and sand again. There are alot of areas. They then advised using a special paint designed for bathrooms and kitchens that has a "semigloss" to it that is moisture resistant. They advised painting the walls with a semi gloss.The current paint is flat and you can see where moisture has collected and dripped down the walls. Sounds good to me but is it really. My husband says it would take 2 men 6 hours to do "it right". I'm more concerned about cosmetic than "right" since we plan to replace the BR in about a year. I have chosen a color I love which fits the "beach" theme ( we are a block from the beach). He says I need to paint the end walls one color and lighten up the other walls to increase size. The end walls have the shower on one and the door on the other. I am an artist and love bold use of color. Everything in the BR is white and there is literally only 1 wall that is not mostly covered by shower or sink and toilet. Any good painting tips for repairing the holes and stuff? I'm a very good DIY but I'll take any good advise offered! Thanks

My husbands ex wife lied in court that her house had been foreclosed on. She needed the "spousal rehabilitative support" to live on while she had to pack and move and all. As a direct result of that lie she was awarded $650/month for 2 years to "help" her while she went through the foreclosure. She had brought the house on her own as an "investment" while they were married. The house is NOT foreclosed on and she is now asking my husband to sign a release so she can refinance it. The support was made "non modifiable" so she could not take him back to court for more money in 2 years which she could have done. I know we need to talk with the divorce attorney but with her $650 we are barely squeaking by and can't afford his fee to do this. The loan is in her name only but both names are on the deed. My husband has to sign a "quit claim" for her to refinance. Her house was not mentioned anywhere in the divorce papers her attorney drew up which made us (including his attorney) suspicious at the time but her lawyer said that since it was "in foreclosure" there was no reason to mention it. She had already declared bankruptcy on her own. She submitted those to the judge for evidence she needed the money. The papers did specify she had to sign a "quit claim" on my husbands house. Part serious and part joke I told my husband not to sign the papers until she paid him the $15,000 for the support or he won't sign the papers. He can then continue to pay her "support" from that. He agrees! Aside from that can we do anything else?

I put this here because its more relationship than anything else. I hate long questions but i see no way to shorten this one. We have to move by Dec. 1. Our landlord has sold our house. We have 2 choices. 1 is a small apt, we own as an investment. its tiny and the view is of th parking lot. I really don't like the place much but have been able to somewhat decorate it in my mind. Pros, location, its a few blocks to my Moms house, I can walk to the grocery store and the beach and most other places I would need to go on a regular basis. If I can't walk I can ride my bike. We can keep our dog. (he showed up 6 months ago on our doorstep. My husband wants to move there since with location and keeping dog.We already own it and have renters but if we lived there we could slowly replace the kitchen and bathrom and paint and all. My husband sees no reason to live someplace where we are "throwing away rent" instead of keeping someplace we own. Rent is similar but we lose money every month renting this out. You charge rent by whats around you and the mortgage and regime fees and we pay the electric bill means we lose 3-400 a month renting it.

Cons, its tiny, no washer and dryer, bad view, needs alot of fix up work since its been a rental for 10 years. I just plain don't like it and can't see living there.My cats would be in danger of getting out. The view is the parking lot. It has 2 bedrooms, i bath. The master bedroom is on the hallway between the units so the curtains would always have to be closed. With the parking lot they would have to be closed most of the time anyway.

2nd place is cons my husband hasn't seen it but is agreeable if that's what I want. It has alot more room plus a washer and dryer. It costs a little more than our rental unit would, we have to put down a security deposit which we wouldn't if we moved to our rental unit. My husband doesn't like the location since we would still have to drive everywhere. We can't keep the dog. Pros The cats would be safe from outside. It has great views. Very private. Its alot more room, 2 bedrooms and 2 baths. has a fantastic view similar to the one we have now, Its very private and I could still go on the deck in a tee shirt and underwear. I'm an artist and work from home so I would enjoy having my studio with great view rather than the parking lot. I also wil be going back to work soon and will be doing an online job from home meaning I'll still be looking at the parking lot. It is also in the process of painting and re-carpeting. Someone else would be responsible for any maintenance issue.

My husband is leaving it up to me but I know he wants the rental unit for the location and the dog. I can visualize decorating it but alot more stuff has to go.

The new place I can keep more stuff and I love the views. We would still have to drive everywhere like we do now. It would also mean driving to Mom's.

I can't decide and I'm really torn. Part of me wants the rental unit since I know my husband wants it. . I also like the location better. Part of me wants the new apt. since I know I will be happy there. I also know when he gets in he will be much happier than the rental. He was claustrophobic in my 1 bedroom with a view of the lagoon before we moved into this house. I can only imagine how catastrophic he will be at the rental with the parking lot view and curtains.

We have no curtains where we live now and wouldn't need them except for the bedrooms where I want to go.

I just can't make up my mind. After laying in bed last night for several hours just thinking I came up with the pro/con list. Now I hope someone can be nice and help me decide or give me some better ideas. My husband comes first in all things. This time I'm feeling selfish by making the decision. Please be nice with your answers. I'm always nice when I answer yours.

We are having to move because our landlord sold our house. It looks like we may have to be out by Nov. 15. We will also be downsizing to about 1/2 the space. I'm starting planning the move. Got the garage cleaned out and what is left are the keepers" and "garage sale" with any leftovers going to the local humane society thrift store. There is already enough to sell off and not much more can be added. I'm trying to have the sale next weekend.

Now I'm looking at the house, taking one area at a time, and sort of going by the keep, sale, throw away and give away stuff.

I need to start packing up the "keeper" stuff. Until after the probably first garage sale (there might be one every weekend as I pack).

Right now I have no place to put the keeper stuff if I start packing. Does anyone have any advice to make all this easier? A lot of the "keeper" stuff will have to go into a storage locker somewhere. I also, due to circumstance, can't have much help from my husband and have hired someone to help with all this. He just does the moving and stuff and I give him directions. he makes no decisions. Thanks everyone!

On the home page of Yahoo in those little boxes you scroll across to ready news stories is a story of the Ultimate bridezilla. It outlined to her 10 "lovely friends" their duties as bridesmaids. They are expected to attend a wedding in Vail in Aug, a bachelorette party in Vegas and an engagement party in NY or CT along with other thing. They alse are required to attend any other wedding events like bridal showers. There are more requirements. If they can't agree by the end of the week they are to let her know so she can cut them from the list. If I were in this wedding party that would be it for me! I'd be out just based on the email she sent. Just wondering how you all felt?

I know sometimes I have a hard time with Yahoo letting me pick my best answer. When I ask a question I always try to pick a best answer even if for some reason it won't let me. IMO if someone takes the time to give an answer then the asker should have the courtesy to pick one. Is there a reason people don't? Am I the only one who finds this annoying? I'm not trying to pick a fight here, just wondering.

I had my 3rd surgery on my right shoulder Aug. 13, 3012. The first 2 were for a rotator cuff tear and a detached labrum. This one was because my shoulder had been screwed up for so long (3 years) that all the muscles and ligaments and tendons were so loose I was dislocating it just with simple movements. I didn't know that was the problem until I saw the new surgeon. This surgery has been a ..... to recover from. The pain level has never really improved from right after surgery and I still need vicodin almost daily at bedtime. I never took anything but motrin after the first week or so on the past 2 surgeries. I have been having alot of problems with pain in my forearm since surgery. It almost felt like my arm was crushed in surgery. I woke up at 5am with total numbness to my pinkie and ring finger on that side. It goes part way up my wrist and travels across the top of my hand and to the other side of the forearm. I already called the ortho (my dr. is out of town) and he said just wait to Monday and then go to Dr. This doesn't feel right to me. Any ideas? Thanks

Without going into long boring details a family member lied, cheated, pretended to be someone else for her financial gain. My husband fell for it against my better judgment. As a result we are now losing our home and almost everything else. I am the one who seems to be suffering most as he is deployed. I can't stop crying, I can't eat, every time I do I throw up, I can't sleep. I called my Dr. who tweaked my meds some. This is not a time to say "pull up your big girl panties and deal with it". I'm also in a bind because I recently had surgery and am almost unable to leave the house since I can't use my right arm for anything and am unable to drive. Any ideas to help me feel better?

I just got married 4 weeks ago. We dated 3 years while his divorce went on for 4. (I year prior to me meeting him). Please don't comment on that I know many of you will say "that what you get". Mid March at the divorce hearing the judge recommended 650/month spousal rehabilitation for 2 years. His ex called daughter who made many rude texts,voice mails, FB'ed me, my family and friends about how horrible I was and how her mother deserved more than 650. There were even a few physical threats thrown in just for fun. About a month later daughter told Dad she was sorry she acted this way and they reconciled after an almost 4 year separation (daughter took moms side). Dad was thrilled. Daughter talked him into quitting his job and coming to work at her company (same business type) where he would make so much more money. She was making 4.500/month working just thurs and fri, Dad (my husband) decided he needed to work there for the money and to help improve his relationship with his daughter. 3 weeks later she quit because she wasn't making enough money (she lied about the 4,500). He is now having to go back to his old job since she completely lied to him about the money. I feel like she set up up to hurt him financially since she knew he would make less than half of what he made. She also knew that he was going to have to pay her mom the 650 and it would not be possible at the new job. While they were working together and until the divorce was final she remained very close to him. meeting after work for happy hours, dropping by with boyfriends, asking me to be on the emergency pick up list for her son at school. She was "best man" at our wedding. We got married about a month after the divorce was final because we wanted to. The fast (5 days/12 guests) wedding was not just because we wanted to get married but I was having surgery that would lay me up for 4-6 months. My husband was also facing deployment on a disaster (non military). We decided that we would rather get married then instead of waiting for at least 6 months. Also, if something happened to him while deployed I would get his benefits (which his ex would not of anyway) We have seen her 1 x since the wedding. My husband was deployed to the disaster and is living in a war zone where daily shooting are happening. She knows this and has still not bothered to call him to see if he's ok. He had to take the deployment to make enough money to pay the bills and catch us back up on what we spent out of savings for him to work with her for 3 months (even though she quit). I feel like she intentionally set him up for a major money loss knowing how much more it would hurt him since he had the added payment to his ex. I tried to talk him out of changing jobs because I don't trust his daughter (esp. after the treatment and threats following the divorce hearing) and I thought she was setting him up. He doesn't agree with me. Shes his little girl and wouldn't do that to him. Regardless since she is his daughter I will always be nice to her if I see her out of respect for my husband. I just want to know am I overreacting to this or not?

We've been on a couple of bad weeks. Normally our relationship is great but somethings out of our control have happened and for the first time ever we are not arguing, just not getting along well. I took a sleeping pill last night since the past few weeks have been hard and I'm not sleeping well. Apparently last night I looked my fiance in the eye and told him I wanted to move out. I just couldn't figure out how to do it. I don't remember saying this and have absolutely no reason to want to move out. We've always had a rule that what you say in your sleep doesn't count. Now today we are not getting along well and trying to avoid each other. He is very hurt and doesn't seem to understand that I don't even remember this. What to do?

You have something that really bothers you and is so private that you cannot talk to anyone that you can think of. It's so private that you wouldn't even tell if you called off the wedding. I feel like I am the only one with this issue. I can't tell my Mom,sisters, best friend. My therapist moved and I have tried several others and no one seems to click yet. I easily could have talked about this with my old therapist. I have tried calling her and since she is out of state she can't talk with me, she has apologized for this several times. Every time I try to talk to my fiancee about it he doesn't understand and thinks I should understand his point of view. I have even told him this could be a deal breaker. The only thing I can say about this is it has to do with sex. This matter had to do with the breakup of his last marriage. It's already affecting our relationship. I'm older and my sexual preferences are pretty much clear but this steps out of my boundaries. I have tried it and unfortunately there were some parts I did enjoy, I just don't feel there is any reason to go there again He seems obsessed with it and wants to continue and it is causing problems for me and how I feel about myself. I have een told him this. So does anyone have any ideas to help me sort out my feelings? I've tried everything I can think of.

I have only met my future BIL 2 x and both were at family weddings. They live in another state. The brothers are not very close and talk once in a while. At the recent wedding (Mid May) BIL told my fiancee he had attempted suicide 2x. His wife and I had a very short talk about how worried she is about him. His FB posting are getting darker and darker. Started with things like "can't sleep again", "does anyone else have a bad feeling today" I can tell by friends responses I have no friends" "why even go to bed, it will just be as bad as yesterday". I have expressed concern over this to my fiancee but he doesn't seem to want to get involved. Today's post was "when I die bury me in my Nationals t-shirt." I just called my fiancee and told him and his response was "I'll call him later today". Both will just brush it off as the family tends to do with all things. I have had battles with severe depression and an overdose that put me in ICU for 10 days on a respirator. I know how helpless and hopeless and "there is no one who will miss me" feelings all to well. That's what I see going on here and it seriously scares me. My fiancee will have a chit chat conversation and not address the real issue. I worked hard with a psychiatrist and a therapist to turn my life around and can't even imagine that dark place again. My question comes down to this. Would I be out of line to call his wife, tell her a little of my story, listen to her and offer any support I can? I can even offer some suggestions as to what I did to recover. I have been asked many times to tell my story to people.. I talk with survivors groups about not trying to figure out what "they" did to cause this and school groups including parents about signs/symptoms of depression, treatments options, and suicide prevention. Do I call the wife whom I don't really know, what do I share with her or do I leave it to my fiancee?

We are in our 50s' with 6 grown adult children. He popped the question last week. My Mom was in town and he wanted her there so we haven't told anyone else yet. We've been together for 3 years. The problem is he has been going thru a very dramatic divorce that started over a year before I met him. The divorce will be final in a few days. I didn't want an engagement ring so he got me a different type of ring which I wear.

There has been alot of anger and hurt feelings with his kids and ex over the divorce. For a long time they wouldn't speak to us. Now that seems to be in the past and they invite themselves over and are welcome at any time now. Seems like we (kids)all get along well. There has never been an issue with my kids.

Out of respect and common courtesy I don't know when we should tell people. We plan to marry soon (eloping) and I feel it is only correct for him to tell his kids we are getting married before they hear it through the grapevine. What is the appropiate time frame here to make as free of drama as possible. However we do it with his kids there will be some drama. Obviously next week after the hearing is not right! Also anyone have any ideas to tell them? I thought of inviting all the kids that live here for dinner and telling them then. But when? I want to tell my kids and sisters now but won't until we decide to tell everyone.

Yep, I'm finally getting married. Here's the question. I was getting married several years ago but when you like the ring better than the guy its not time to get married! He let me keep the ring. My BF and I decided (due to money and all) to use that ring. We did take it to a jeweler and have it redesigned and it won't be like the old one. Neither of us have a problem with this. In our minds it is a new ring. It is now only a wedding ring, not an engagement and wedding ring. We both worked with the jeweler to design it. My sister thinks its a great idea but my Mom thinks he should have brought me a completely new one. (this one had sat in the box for over 4 years and would have continued to sit there) Since we have redesigned it and we have no problem with it does anyone else see this as wrong. I'm getting the ring I want that we can afford. We could not afford the type of ring I wanted without recycling this one. The redesign still cost over $1000. He also did give me a new engagement ring but also not your typical engagement ring. I did not want a diamond engagement ring so he got me a ring I can switch to my right hand when we marry. Is this wrong?

I live with my BF and a few weeks ago we inherited a dog from my pregnant daughter. The next week my other daughter and dog (and fleas) also moved in due to domestic violence charges against her BF. I am a stay at home GF but am so because of an injury to my Right shoulder and 2 surgeries. The most recent was in Feb and I am to expect a 4-6 month recovery. I am in physical therapy 3 x week with a 5 pound weight lift. Because of the cause of the injury I am still receiving my full pay check.

What gets me is my BF has always said "I pick up after myself". Yes, he hangs his clothes, puts them in the laundry and puts his dinner dishes in the sink and will sometimes wash the other dishes. My daughter has dusted and vacuumed 1 time. They both say "I pick up after myself". The problem is they don't seem to understand that they leave dust, use the bathrooms, walk on the floors, leave bread crumbs on the counter when they make toast and as any housewife knows the list goes on and on. (not to mention the dogs are now my problem since they both work all day and someone has to walk them. Due to my surgery it requires 2 trips out since I can only walk one at a time)

I'm starting to get really angry about this. The coffee tables, kitchen counters and floors have to be done daily (but they clean up after themselves). I have a friend who comes over about once a week to clean the rest of the stuff (bathrooms, mop floors Change my sheets and such). I pay her to do this but feel that I should not have to pay anyone to help me now since I have an adult daughter (and her dog) living with me at present.

I'm getting really angry about this. My BF and I have talked to my daughter who agrees she needs to accept some responsibility but then she just stormed out when I asked for some help So, do I just suck it up and keep hiring my friend, leave the counters, coffee tables and floors undone except when friend comes while I wait for my daughters job transfer? (shes going out of the country at the end of th month to get away from the abuser) Asking daughter for help causes to much drama and I don't want her to leave my house due to her domestic abuse problems. Also do I just suck it up and continue to do the dusting, counters, vacuuming like I always have since it drives me crazy to sit in a messy house all day? What to do? Thanks anyone for your help!

She was just home for about 1 hour while I was cleaning and got really mad at me because "Why are you being such a *****, I work and you're home all day" and stormed out of the house.

Having her out of the house is not possible right now due to the domestic abuse problem (she has a restraining order which he continues to violate) and I truly believe her life is at risk with him. and like I said she is leaving the country at the end of the month.

I keep getting email from "you tube" saying my video was approved. I am concerned because I am going thru some family drama that is causing me great harm. She is 30 but acting like a 12 year old posting untrue things about me on FB, sending mass texts, talking to coworkers and my friends and family. Is it possible she is posting or are these really phishing expeditions for spam? I have entered my name and hers on you tube with no results. Maybe this is just a coincidence?

I have heard you can see who's looked but I can't seem to figure out how. Is there a way to tell?

Yesterday I got an email from "yahoo info" telling me I needed to update my yahoo info. My account would be closed otherwise. It also said if I had already updated my payment info it had probably not been "processed" yet. Since I have never had to give Yahoo my credit card number I thought this was a scam. Needless to say I didn't respond. Anyone else out there had this?

I had a bad pap about 9 months ago. The Dr. recommended a colposcopy but since I have no insurance I opted for a repeat pap. I had that 3 months ago. The pap was normal. I got a call from my Dr. yesterday telling me to come for a colposcopy since he found HPV on the 2nd pap. He did a different test for that. I am really embarrassed to find out that I have HPV which is an STD. I plan to have my best friend take me to the Dr. next week since I don't want to tell my family or my BF. My relationship with my BF is great. I just don't want to tell him right now because I don't want to worry him. I had surgery on my shoulder last week and he has been taking care of me and everything in the house as well as cooking, laundry, cleaning and working so I just don't want to add more to that stress until i know more. We also won't know if my shoulder surgery fixed it or not for several months. (this was my 2nd surgery) so I don't want to add to that stress. What is a colopscopy, what do i have to expect after. Will I have any restrictions or problems after that which will mean I have to tell my BF right now (we can't have sex right now because of my other surgery). Will I have bleeding after? Will I find out then what the results are? If not how long will the normal wait be? Will the colopscopy remove all the bad cells or if it is positive will I have to have more done? What is a leep procedure? Thanks for your help. Maybe I will get enough info to tell my BF now without worrying him. Thanks for your help. BTW I am 58 so I'm not just a scared kid. i just don't want to tell everyone I have an std or worry anyone needlessly.

I lost over 65# 3 years ago and have kept it all off. I am 58 and am my gyms spokesperson for 2012 which involves a radio and TV interview, tv ads, newspaper and magazine ads as well as some guest appearances. I have no problem modeling "workout clothes". I have also been asked to model in several fashion shows and some other print ads. (us 58 year olds are the new role model for skin creams and such) I am asked all to often "should you be eating that?, are you off your diet" when I eat something "fattening". Yesterday at Christmas dinner my mom asked that when I had apple pie and ice cream for desert. I am tired of explaining to people (my BF included) that I lost my weight by lifestyle changes, it has been off for over 3 years and obviously my gym thinks I'm great! I'm not good with fast comebacks but would like a "statement" to make when these things are said. I'm tired of telling everyone close that it hurts when they say such things. Any suggestions?