Rose

It's been over a year since he left me. I still think of him every now and then. When I leant that he was to get married soon, I felt a twang of pain in my heart. Thoughts like "why isn't it me?" and "was I not good enough?" go through my mind. I can't even bring myself to look at photos of him. I don't love him anymore though. It's more hurt than loss, if that makes sense.

Well, you know how England is. Though today we've had a nice day. Lol

Anyways, I was wondering where the best place in Europe is to go for the six weeks holidays.

My mum thinks we should go Spain, but I've always wanted to go to Italy.

We'd like to rent out a villa somewhere sorta rural. Nice people, nice food etc. No where stupidly expensive. Somewhere that's HOT!!! Haha.

I know that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with watching anime or reading manga, but I just feel embarrassed. The only people who know I read manga are my two younger bros. My mum doesn't know, neither do my friends. Anyone else a closet otaku?

Btw, am I also the only person that pronounces anime like 'an-ime' as in like a 'chime'? I know people pronounce it 'ani-may' but I prefer my way lol.

Well, I just recently read the manga, (I know, have I been living under a rock till now? Lol) and I kinda get the feeling that it's gonna end soon. I mean, all that's left is for naruto to defeat Tobi and make sure he doesnt summon the juubi and to battle it out against sasuke one final time, these two being priority amongst other things. Besides kishimoto-sensei said “how the story will end has already been set in my mind, so the story is just ‘racing headlong in that direction"

So I was wonderin, where do you see naruto in the end? I have a bunch of theories, but I wanna hear your opinions first.

I dunno why, but i feel kinda sad nothing comes out on video anymore. It's all DVDs and BlueRays and what have you. I remember having to tape over previous films to get a new one. I think I just prefer them to DVDs, they're less flimsy and don't scratch.

What do you guys think?

Well, im really into my games. Ive bought all the CoD, GTA, Halo and just recently got into skyrim.

The problem is, my mum doesnt like buying me games. Why is that? Im not girly in the least, but i do take pride in my apperance. Whenever my lil bros ask for games, by the end if the week they have it!!

Im even willing to swap in old games for new ones, so the only games i have right now are black op, mw3 and a shed load of sonic games thanks to my lil bro!! But that takes like a month of pleading and begging.

I mean surely its better that im indoors bashing CoD or Halo online instead of on the streets doing god knows what with god knows who.

Care to explain mothers?

Ill be doing something, like talking with a friend and I'll have this wave of nostalgia. Like i recognise what shes wearing, and i know what shes gonna say next.

And its impossible for me to have lived out this exact scene in the past. So why do i feel like im doing it again?

Well, i hope to become a doctor, and that is on the SOL list to be applicable for a permanent visa. I heard that immigrants from the UK arent allowed to buy properties in Oz but have to build their own? Is this true? If so the how much would it cost?

I hope to live in perth one day.

Well, as a child, my upbringing was very unstable, i never stayed at the same school for more than two years. Due to this, i have been put in the wrong classes, failed some exams cos i had studied something completely different and i swear, i gave it one hundred percent.

So here are my gcses:

english lit- A

English lang-C (25% of the gcse came from a r+j coursework. I had one week with no help to do an 8 page assignment, i got a d)

Maths-c (in yr 9 i was placed in the wrong set, so i had to work at foundation. In yr ten i was in a diff school, and in higher tier, so i had a lot of catching up to do, but i was always border on a b)

Re-a

Ict-distinction

Law-c

Business-c

Science-b

Add science-b

Are these bad? I really wanna be able to become a doctor, do you think if i explained my circumstance, theyd accept me into med school? I wanna go lancaster medical school.

Please help :(

Well it started about two days ago, when Im playing CoD online, the screen freezes for about two seconds and my player ends up in a totally different place is this just me? Or are others experiencing this? Ive unplugged all connection from the router, turned it off for thirty seconds, etc but it wont go away!

Ok, so im writing a book (i know how cliched lol)

So, im really quite excited about it. Im about 5 chapters in and i want some feedback. Btw the setting is like a mediaeval england. The plot: caleb kensly, a 19 yr old soldier serving in the army is sick of killing. his king, verlion, killed his own father for the throne and everythng went downhill from there. So recently he sent his army overseas to an arabian/persian sort of country and has raided them and brought this girl called leela. Caleb feels like hes seen this girl, maybe in another life time......all of a sudden, six 'men' clad in black kill the king and everyone near him and the majority of people there. Caleb and leela escape, only for caleb to be framed for the kings murder. So they go on the run.....

Heres a little taster for you: His bloodied sword fell from his shaking hand. The deed had been done, they had conquered yet another innocent city. His eyes strayed to the scene infront of him. Lifeless corpes littered the battlefield, their warm blood seeping into the cold earth. Men lay mutiliated in a undignafied fashion, some missing arms and legs, others half their bodies. He noted that among the slain  lay little more than boys whom until recently had been enjoying their youths, now they were a pile of flesh and bone, unrecognisable and deformed. 

The scent of death assaulted his nostrils and he gagged, bringing up nothing more than bile. But he knew it wasnt the reason he had been sick. He hadnt joined the army to massacre children, to pillage their home, to rape their women, to kill their men and enslave their offsring. He had wanted honour and glory, to be praised and hailed a hero by everyone, to loyaly serve his king, to risk his life doing only good. Sir caleb kensly, a beloved knight, that is whom he had wanted to be.  Yet here he was, drenched in the innocents' blood. A murderer. They werent even prepared for the attack, an instant disadvantage. They were cut down in less than three hours. He heard women screaming, traumatised by what had happened and what would happen. He had played his part in their doom, and for that he would never forgive himself. 

It was the guilt that had caused him to be sick.

He picked up his sword, his hands still shaking. His body was exhausted, agony searing throughout him. His left shoulder had suffered the the most damage, a huge slash that would undoubtedly leave him a scar as reminder of his actions. 

He tried to not think of himself as a murderer, but as somone who only followed orders, but somehow that made him feel worse. Had he no say in what he did?

A hand appeared infront of him. He looked up and saw bright green eyes and a mop of brown hair that belonged to his comrade and close companion jarrod gurthers. They had been cousins and best friends; growing up together, planning to become heroes together, getting into trouble together and most importantly, they had joined the army together. He would risk his life for him, and he had no doubt that jarrod would do the same. 

Jarrod smiled slightly, not a happy one, but an empathetic one. He felt the same way caleb did, only he wasnt as quick to show his emotions. Caleb took his hand, giving a weak smile in return.

"you might want to have that seen to" jarrod said, indicating to his shoulder. Caleb nodded, his throat too coarse and dry to answer. Jarrod wasnt seriously injured, nothing a good rest wouldnt fix. Caleb inwardly let out a sigh of relief. If jarrod died, he wouldnt know what to do. They depended on each other, caleb more so than jarrod. They were brothers in blood. 

They made their way towards the medical camp that had been set up. As they did so, caleb couldnt help but notice the second battalion was moving in. The first one, the one caleb and jarrod had been in, were to kill any opposing force, to clear the way for the second battalion. The pillagers, as caleb called them, came in and pillaged the city, imprisoned the women, more often than not using them before they were enslaved and any child under the age of five were killed as they werent of any use being a slave. 

caleb didnt like his job, but he'd be damned if he raped a woman or killed an innocent. He preferred to be well away from the city before they arrived, so as to avoid the pleas of mothers and the screams of children.

 He forced back tears. To show tears to his fellow comrades would instantly doom him. They would beat him till they saw fit, and then ridicule him for being a spineless bastard. He didnt want that. He had seen a poor man object to the killing of a child. The child had been killed regardless, then later he had been taken somewhere. Now-a-days he killed without hesitation

I know there are alot of mistakes there, but just look past it. Anyways, any constructive criticism and feedback would be appreciated. Thank you :D