Christopher

I heard on the news that a boy choked on an apple while he was wearing safety glasses. I thought apples were good for you. Aren't safety glasses supposed to keep you safe no matter what?

We have been going out for 2 days and she hasn't given me a *******!

My tree Melvin has a serious human infestation problem. He wanted me to call the police to find out who these people belong to. Oh darn one of the people just pooped on Melvin. I'm thinking about using some pink yarn as bait and the BAM ambushing them with a crowbar and some spray paint. While ambushing the people should I tell Melvin to hold them down while I throw scrambled eggs at them or should I break their limbs and charbroil them?

We got married with the whole deal in the Bahamas where she was from. I love her and we have had 2 boys but I don't know why she thinks I'm her husband.

Ever since my window melvin has started puberty he has excreted a frothy green substance and I collect this in milk jugs and put it in the freezer because it is good substitute for mayo. This green froth is good for putting on the edge of your mouth when your thirsty.

I was planning world domination and I work for minute maid so it would be convenient if any fruit juices were weaponizable

Ever since my dog gas tried to mate with my oven at home people have just been doing oven drive bys. I asked my tree Melvin about it and he said its normal for peaches to have feelings for paper because its the circle of the mango smoothie. Btw my tree is a Japanese Cherry birch and all of the people that do the oven drive bys are world war vets.

Swag

My pics http://www.mcckc.edu/longview/socsci/psyc/westra/A...

http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/picture/cripster/Funny_...

Btw two different lighting a that's why my skin looks a tiny bit different

Is it because my thighs aren't jiggly enough for nesting? Or is it because I'm black? Because short haired hamsters are known to be racist. The reason Adolf hitler is prejudice towards Jews is because as a toddler he drew a picture of a hamster raping Jews.

The pain is right smack dab in the middle of my pectorals and above my sternum. I am 14 if that helps. Any stretches or exercises I can do?

I ate Walmart's secret formula but it been three weeks and nothing has happened. I spent like $850 on the pills. How can I speed up the process?

My mom is Vietnamese and my dad is a cool caramel (Indian)

My wife had a baby being a Pokemon myself I broke his limbs. What do I do!!??