False actuation is what you make
Yet you can't see you made a mistake
All those lies
Leave you with blinded eyes
A spear in your eye
A splinter in his
You pick there's out
And leave yours in
I think it needs to be longer. Whats your take on it?
Jay Argentina
Favorite Answer
feels like just was getting into it. it needs closure. something.
Anonymous
I love it the way!! But if you want to make it different then..
You always make the wrong actuation
You don't know that you made a mistake
Those 1,000's of lies
Leaves you blinded in the eyes
You get a sharp spear in your eye
And a pointy splinter in his
You take his splinter out
But leave your spear in
...you see the reader needs to be able to see it, touch it etc.
Bella
i think the poem is brilliant and is the right length
Anonymous
i think the poem is niice and simple and the lenght is also okay
Tinker Bell
thats a poem right ther!