Am I overreacting? Please I need your opinions?

I just moved into my boyfriends house, he had shared this house with one other serious girlfriend. Im not too thrilled about that, but I have been kinda putting it into the back of my mind, until yesterday. I decided to wash the sheets since I hadn't done it since I moved in. Once I got the mattress pad off I could see old "love stains" on the side of the bed where I sleep. Obviously I know he had sex with his ex's, because I had sex with my ex's too. (again im not thrilled about it but oh well I cant do much) It just really made me sick and sad and made me feel bad to see all those old stains and they were all on my side of the bed, so im guessing that im sleeping on what used to be her side too. I just cant stop thinking about this now. I was able to put it in the back of my mind but cant anymore after I saw all those stains. I honestly dont even want to sleep in that bed....at all. (I mean I would at LEAST buy new sheets before I even let my boyfriend sleep in a bed that I shared with an ex..but I would wanna buy a whole new bed.) My boyfriend and I will be getting engaged soon, and then obviously married, I dont wanna start our new life making love and sleeping on his past. I am willing to buy new sheets and mattress/bed too, I mean I dont just expect him to buy it all. Am I overreacting? Please, I love this man with all my heart but this is really bothering me. I would like some of your opinions.

And yes, I know the bed is just an object and Im sure they shared a lot more things around the house together, but the bed is just important to me since its where we make love the most, and obviously we sleep there together every night.

2009-11-09T04:54:52Z

Please remember I said that I wouldnt expect him to stay in a bed I shared with my ex's.

Fizgog2009-11-09T04:30:13Z

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I can see where you're coming from and I would also be a bit disturbed by the love stains. If I were you i would just go out with your man, get a nice new mattress, new sheets and a few new duvet covers that you have chosen together and split the bill.

Maximus2009-11-09T04:48:05Z

It sounds like you are overreacting. What if he came to your place? I'm sure that somewhere on your bed there are some "love stains" as well. Do we need to break out the blacklight? The past is the past. You were having sex before him, and he was too before you came along, so I would just let it go. If it really bothers you that much, then buy new material so you guys can get on with your lives. I can see how you look at it all and say, "hmmmmm!," but the issue is trivial.

BG_212009-11-09T04:28:13Z

I can understand your frustration cause I'm particular about certain things too. If I were you, I'd buy brand new sheets, a mattress foam pad, and a down mattress cover (they are so comfortable!) for now. At least this way, you're not consumed by the idea of making contact with the ex's residue. Then when you get married, buy a new mattress set as a way to commemorate your new beginning.

sari2016-05-23T02:21:50Z

Since it's only been a little while, you have to consider that when you say "cutting it all off" some guys think you mean really, really short, like a guy's hair cut. So if you went from looking like Rapunzel to looking like Anne Heche, that's when he'd probably be upset. He likes you the way you are, and doesn't want you to have hair like a dude. My BF (who's now 29) first met me when I had really long hair, but when I wanted to cut it short last year, he was okay with it as long as I still looked like a girl. But, I do think you are over reacting, because you asked him a joking way. Let it go.

Anonymous2009-11-09T04:30:19Z

ok... I understand where you're coming from and would see why you're feeling this way - but his ex's are his past - and we all have them so you have to accept that you werent the only woman he slept with.

Would moving house be an option? Maybe somewhere fresh for the two of ye where you wont have constant reminders of the fact he lived with other women?

If not, then you need to put yourself in the frame of mind that yeah hes had other women - but hes marrying you!
xx

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