Why do people cheat? What's missing?

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Here are the top 7 reasons given by cheaters to justify their betrayal:

1. "My needs are not being satisfied inside the relationship." He thinks that it's o.k. to satisfy his needs elsewhere. He is wrong of course.

2. "I never learned how to respect boundaries". He knows that they are out there, but he doesn't really honor boundaries and doesn't hesitate to "jump" over them.

3. "I have sexual fetishes that I can't share with my partner." Sometimes he can't share them, and sometimes he did share them but his partner can't cooperate with it. So they go outside to get it.

4. "I can't turn down sexual offers or invitations." He thinks that "he is not a man" if he turns down sex, especially by someone attractive.

5. "I have low self esteem". He feels flattered and his self esteem is boosted when he finds out someone else is interested in him.

6. "My partner doesn't make me feel special". He cheats because he thinks that someone else can make him feel special and fill this gap.

7. "I can't really commit to anyone". He has a damaged sense of commitment, although he would probably deny it at first....Show more

-Because they desperately need attention from other people to validate themselves
-because they don't love or respect their partner so intentionally cheat
-because they get into a situation and don't love their partner enough to get out of it

No matter what, a person who cheats does so because they don't love or respect their partner. It's not about "missing" something - that is a VERY naive belief. You could be the best person in the world but if your partner doesn't love you or isn't compatible with you, and doesn't have the respect and maturity to end the relationship, they will cheat....Show more

I have interviewed many married men who have affairs. They are just as likely to have happy fulfilling marriages as not. They are just as likely to sleep with their wives as not.

The only thing they have in common is selfishness. They admit that the reason is selfishness.

The more powerful and wealthy the man, the more likely he is to get away with it because of business trips that he can use as cover. But, wealth and power are merely enabling factors that may make someone more likely to do it more often.

The one factor that determines whether or not someone would do it or not is selfishness. Period. That is the only factor. It is not about the sex. If it were about sex, they would see a prostitute and not have an actual affair.

When men have affairs, they get emotionally involved with the woman....Show more

Depends on the type of cheating.
One night stands..just opportunity i guess. Lust?
Longer term love affairs.. i do think perhaps something might be missing from the main relationship, but ultimately having an affair is trying to use another person to solve whatever the problem is, instead of really tackling it at roots so to speak, I think if affairs go on and destroy marriages, like my husbands did, then it is really sad....Show more

Whats missing? Morals....Show more