Is The Message In This Verse Understandable Enough?

It’s a serious question actually because the feedback I’ve gotten from some suggest that they don’t understand that justifications and excuses mean the same thing here. But actually saying so detracts from the verse, don’t you think? It can't be that obscure?

If Only -

Too old, too young, too large, too small,
too rich, too poor, too fast, too slow,
too meek, too bold, too short, too tall:
justification knows them all.

Disdaining self initiative,
security in excuses,
fortified by kindred failings,
lets justifications prevail.

Not fed, under read, can’t be said,
has gone, takes too long, might be wrong,
no calls, hits the wall, tears might fall:
justification knows them all.

Embracing justifications
accompanies those descending.
Curtailing justifications
gives flight to the soul ascending.

2013-07-12T19:45:37Z

The metaphor would be rendered obsolete and the works of poets from Eliot to Stevens to Thomas to Spender and Plath would be mocked if the Victorian mentality was defining the perimeters of modern verse.

Anonymous2013-07-12T18:53:03Z

Favorite Answer

You're right about justification and excuses being the same. This is nicely written, good job. The type of poem you've written is called didactic, and that's OK, but it sounds somewhat strict, even though I hate it when people do that, it's almost like a lie, and I hate liars. You maybe could start it with a strict denouncement with justifier examples and then add a common poetic turning in the last stanza to gently acknowledge our weakness and perhaps fear as a motivating reason. Compassion for people's ignorance is what Christ would have.

Anonymous2013-07-13T04:08:13Z

I feel that it fits well. If you focus on just the line that the word is in, it might be difficult, but as an avid and intriguing reader, all the context clues in each stanza should give enough information to bring the reader to the conclusion as to what the definition of the word is.

Lapiz Dominoes.2013-07-13T01:15:21Z

Yup!

Same with `assumptions`...they cause descent....for all..

Until `The Assumption`......to permit ascent and to/ for others assumed about,
so there`s some assent and ascent......k?

I pray this is sufficiently comprehensible and comprehensive for you?