Can Someone give me some good solid advice on what I should do to help my Schizophrania husband?

My husband of 25 years had been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia and Bipolar in 1999. He was taking his medicine regularly, and then stopped in 2005, where I saw his mental illness went from being under control to very bad. My husband who was seeing a Psychologist (once a month), and a Therapist (twice a month) had started to refuse to go to his visits any longer. He was getting worse talking to himself, getting angry, and seeing things that weren't there. He also accused me and others of plotting to do things to him that were not true. I was told then by his Therapist when I told her what was going on to go to the Chancery Clerk here in Mississippi where I live, and have the Police pick him up to be admitted in one of the Mental Clinics. When the Police arrived I was very shocked and saddened that they put the mentally ill in handcuffs, and in jail. I was also shocked to see my husband in a Orange jumpsuit with handcuffs and shackles on in Court, like he was a criminal. He went to the Mental Clinic and stayed about 2 1/2 weeks, and come home. I promised myself that I would never do that again, because it hurt me to see that. My husband took his medicine for some months, and then off and on, and then completely stopped. I then along with his Therapist talked him into admitting himself back into the Clinic instead of being arrested again, this was around 2007. After that my husband took his meds for a little while, and again refused to take it. I didn't know at the time, that my Mother in law who lives in Illinois, for years was agreeing with my husband that he didn't need any medicine, and that nothing was seriously wrong with him, until he left me, and went to stay with her and she got a small taste of what My daughter and I was going through, and she herself told him he had to leave. He return back to me, and had gotten worse this was in 2010. I then again had to go to the Chancery Clerk, and the same process again. I had no choice. This time he was admitted into a Mental Hospital for a Month. I hoped that things were going to get better. My husband come home and seem to be doing well, and then a couple of weeks later, He got off his meds, and flew to Illinois to stay with his Mother again, paying his Mom rent. Then he come home 3 months later. Things had gotten from bad to worse where he would refuse his medicine, and leave and go back and forward to his mother's. Then at the end of 2011 he left, and I was sad to say, I Was glad to see him go, because I was so stressed out from his illness, that it was making me physically ill, with headaches, depression and high blood pressure. I couldn't take it anymore, and was hoping he would live with his Mom permanently or get his own place. I was happy just to know he was with his family, but things changed where he left his Mom's accusing her and her boyfriend of saying or plotting to do things to him. He called our daughter who was 21 at the time, that he had move to South Carolina. We learned from him that he was living in homeless shelters, and sometimes sleeping outside in the park. He then saved his Social Security and bought a used truck, and was living in that. My husband was gone almost 2 years. He then called and said he wanted to come home, and was tired of living that way. My husband is now home a month since July 2013, and the first week up to now has been the worse. He talks all the time to himself, that I sleep in the guest room. He have all kinds of angry episodes over anything, and calls me and my daughter names. He goes from talking to himself to laughing for no reason to himself out loud, to fussing with himself. He also says he is leaving again when he gets his S.S. money, and go where no one in his family will know where he is at this time. I know I have to put him in the Hospital before September gets here, and soon when he gets another check. My Question is? How can I get him to stay on his medicine (can it be Court ordered) that if he doesn't he could be picked up anywhere. Also how can I prevent him from leaving when he's endangering himself, and not to mention being wasteful with his money buying things he doesn't need like jewelry and etc., and not helping with any of our bills or Mortgage leaving me with all the burdens. HOW CAN I HELP MY HUSBAND WHO HAS GOTTEN WORSE OVER TIME? HOW CAN I GET HIM TO STAY ON HIS MEDICINES IF HE IS IN DENIAL THAT HE HAS A MENTAL PROBLEM? I NEED HELP PLEASE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Also he acts likes he hates me, when I have him forced into a hospital.

2013-08-12T07:27:33Z

Yes I had tried to sneak medicines in his food or drink in the past. I had bought a pill crusher that grinds it into powder. He would always taste it, saying his food taste bitter, and started fixing his own plate.

The Spirit Of Cosmos2013-08-13T08:12:10Z

Favorite Answer

It would be best for you to talk to someone such as a therapist or doctor, and get advice from them, even therapy from them, so your not just left with your own means of insight. I request that you ask this question again (with paragraphs).

There are probably sites online where you can find marriages where schizophrenia was a part of their experiences, and maybe learn something from those people. There is also a chat line specially suited for those that have schizophrenia. and other MI. Here they can share experiences like you have. You might try visiting there.

Questions and answers interacting, is hardly enough to give you the proper tools and help in your reactions and manipulation of this situation, your relationship and life.

I am going to assume that you have already tried talking to your husband, and used a kind of comparison of life conditions, and asked him which one he'd rather be in? "If you love me..." I am sure those are words you have used before. Incentives can help, so can group influence/discussion.

I see that he has gotten progressively worse, and has started to talking to himself habitually, because of being isolated. I moved to NC and I have come across the same problems in the HEALTH system here. You might consider moving to a place where they have open mental facilities with therapist on the clock. Police officers aren't taught to responded to people with mental illness, as I have witnessed myself, heard by others, and yourself. As far as I know, though you can check laws on mental illness, drugs are not mandatory unless he is hurting himself or others. To bad they don't emotional harm into consideration.

Some resources:

Schizophrenia
1. http://www.schizophrenia.com:8080/jiveforums/thread.jspa?threadID=71877
2. http://ehealthforum.com/health/won-t-take-meds-t139315.html
3. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1077630/posts

Incentive and influence
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incentive
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement

?2013-08-12T08:41:51Z

I'm sorry for your husband's illness and how it has left you feeling at such a loss. Schizophrenia is a brain disease and it does work to deteriorate the brain in many cases. Unfortunately, we can't force another adult to take their medications. Yes, they do make sure patients take meds in the hospitals.

It's said that the primary reason people stop taking their meds is because of the side-effects.

Im sure he doesn't "hate" you when you have him sent to the hospital. It's because he doesn't want to go there, and he is feeling defeated, i'm sure.

I was wondering if you have seen a therapist for help and support. Perhaps they'd have some ideas about what you could do and also, to help you develop some coping skills. You deserve to find some good direction too.

I wish i had the answer!

L L ツ2013-08-13T19:22:13Z

It is true, today's civil rights extend to mentally ill people, and they can no longer be compelled to take their medicine, even when it is the right thing to do.

You can't prevent him from leaving, or wasting his money, you cannot reason with him at all. Such is the nature of a mental illness.

What you CAN do is insist that he take meds in order to live in your home, and if not, you will need to firmly close your doors.

It is true that the police are required to handcuff a disruptive person before transporting them, for all of their safety. In my state, once a court order has been issued, they are transported directly to the hospital. Even if it hurts you to do it, it is the best way to insure he receives appropriate treatment. When he is to re released, you have a right to go to the hearing, make the medically compliant condition, and refuse to be hi discharge placement if he won't agree.

You mental health must be cared for first, take care of yourself first. Keep your own sanity.

kpopp2013-08-12T07:09:14Z

Part of the problem that we are facing today are the result of the closing of most mental hospitals in the 60's and 70's. Yes, there are good drugs to settle mental health problems. But who can force anyone to take them. Your dilemma is a problem that is widespread and has no adequate solution. The best you can do is to give him some incentives to take his medicine and use rewards - e.g. like taking him out to dinner - to keep him quiet.

Tom2013-08-18T19:06:46Z

****
Just try to be more understanding.