How difficult is it to go on in life after cutting all ties with a verbally abusive father and sister?

Hi

I was and what I decided to do is forgive them all and move on . I grew up without a father so you are lucky to have one . My father died when I was a child so I don't remember so much about him . My mommy has been there all my life (me 37) . I am sorry for the pain that you must be feeling also it helps to talk to someone not just anyone but someone you can trust because it helps .

Being talked about , and constantly criticized hurts your self esteem and also can develop into anger problems . Honey , forgive them and let go because if not , it will eventually ruin your life .

Take care

C

Paternity is a matter of sperm.

Fatherhood is something else again.

It's hard to imagine one so caloused and critical as you've described. My heart bleeds for you, hon.

You've lived long enough with the heartbreak and now that you've severed the ties, you'll find that once one door closes, another opens.

Your life will open up to so many new and loving situations and hopefully you've not allowed yourself the albatross of bitterness. The whole world welcomes you as the beautiful person you've always been.

The difficulties most likely will be a parent and a sibling who are missing out on the specialness only you can bring. They'll regret their actions one day and you're well off without being anyone's whipping post.

Suggest you now treat yourself the way you wanted to be treated way back when you were young...Lovingly, proudly and without rancor of any kind. If you can find forgiveness, you'll be totally free!

If as you say, you were verbally abused by your sister, and Father, it is worse than being beaten , because the beatings can heal, but the verbal abuse is worse,you, cannot forget what they had told you ever since you were old enough to understand, when they were verbally abusing you. If I were you, I would cut all ties with if you want to call them Family, because those types of relatives do not deserve, anything from you. Do not feel guilty if you choose to end all ties with them, what Father figure was your dad to you, but always trying to make you feel like you were not worthy of living. If you think that getting counseling for your peace of mind, go for it, it might make you feel better, about yourself, and eventually you will be able to come to terms with the way your family, treated you. I, also come from an abusive Family, My Mother would beat us with whatever she would lay her hands on, and she would not care where she hit us. so, I can sympathize with the way you feel. Do not feel any remorse for what you want to do for yourself, you have every right to do whatever you want to do with your life. I wish you the best, and I hope you will eventually be happy.

It's not as hard as you think to just cut your ties and leave them in the past. It's been two years now since I've seen or spoke to my mother. She and I were very very close my whole life. And when I was 27 I guess she started going through the change of life or something. She left my father who is a preacher and ran off with my husband of 6 years and my children. It took me 2 years to find them. I was hurt and mad for awhile but now I've mourned the lose and it's over she's a memory and can never hurt me again. Good Luck to you.

I'd say cut ties with him, doesn't sound like he was ever much of a father to you. I'd email or write him a letter, telling him why and ask him not to contact you again. Its not worth the heartache.

I have had to do the same since not only were they verbally abusive, but ended up defrauding me out of my home and property and everything I worked and saved for 36 years. I found out too late that family can often be worse than strangers and that large sums of money or property can do strange things to people. Such people can be very domineering and tell you all kinds of different stories until you end up second-guessing everything you know to be true. Be very careful they don't "help" you out of all you own. Keep your mouth shut about your finances. If you have any money, don't let them know about it. And before you do ANYTHING of a legal nature, get your own attorney to check it out - you select the attorney, not them and you pay for it, not them. It's worth the $100 or $200 to protect yourself. And don't let them emotionally manipulate you by saying in pseudo-shocked or insulted tones, "You act like you don't trust us." I hope at this point in time that you have your own place. I found once I was away from those people that I realized it was THEIR problem, not mine, and that they were very unhappy people. Such persons have to cut others down to make themselves feel better. Do cultivate your own friends that you can talk to; don't rely on solely on family.

Unless they are truly wicked, if you have your own place and your own life, they should not be able to jerk you around. You can keep civil ties with them. Just don't let them get to you since such people, when sniffing out weakness, will 'go for the jugular.' When they become abusive, you can simply walk out of the room. Or simply say, "I disagree" or "I'm sorry you feel that way." Above all, don't let yourself get drawn into an argument. You have to justify nothing nor explain anything; you are an adult.

One thing that can reverberate is if you cut off all ties, then when it is time for a will to be read, you could be totally cut off. While I wouldn't let someone jerk me around simply by threatening to cut you off from their money, it doesn't hurt to be on civil terms as long as you can. Don't be surprised if your sister has already begun conniving to ensure you are disinherited - even if she may already have more than you.

If you watch old movies, there's a good one with Bette Davis in it called "Now Voyager." She portrays a girl with a domineering mother who has the good fortune to meet a compassionate psychiatrist who shows her how to deal with the situation.

Good luck to you and remember - you have to take care of yourself because nobody else will. At least, not the way you will. Also remember: it doesn't matter what they say, it's how you react to it. If they see it upsets you, they will use it against you. This is all a power struggle, believe it or not, and you probably have the upper hand -- you just don't realize it! Be confident in yourself and know that you have as much right to be here as they do... and maybe even more. ; )

i'm 14 teen and i lived in a house that my dad abused my mom and my brother also my sister and me he would spank us with a belt for no reason and also called us names and i dont talk to him that much becaus my mom toke me an d my sister and moved away and my sister use to verbully and fiscully abuse me but know she moved away so i stoped countact with ner and thats what you should do

i went through something very similar. i went 5 years without speaking to my parents or brothers. i got married finished college and had a son. they met him when he was 5. today my parents and i are really tight but it took that breakup for them to come around and realize i didn't need them in my life, i wanted them in my life!

where is your Mother/ is she deceased? if so, i think you should talk to a counselor before you decide this. If Mother available get her input.