How do I reassure my resident cat that the new kitten is ok without reinforcing her negative feelings?

I know it's hard... but try to give it some time. I introduced 6 Katrina kitten rescues into a 6-year stable, established pride household of 7 adult cats and it took 3 months for everyone to settle. I was quite the nightmare. I can laugh now, but I was not laughing then.

#1 most important thing... every cat in the household must be spayed and neutered. Un-fixed cats will fight forever once it starts. Get your cats fixed if not already.

Try using Feliway Spray around the house in areas they frequent and/or the Feliway Diffuser Plug-In to calm them. It's expensive but it does tend to calm "some" cats. Not all, but it's worth a shot.

Rescue Remedy Natural Stress reliever is another product you can try. You just put a few drops in their mouths or 10 drops per cup of water in their bowls to calm them. Make sure you change the water daily if you put it in their bowls. It works for a few of my high stress cats quite well.

Make sure you are not forcing newly introduced cats to use the same litter boxes. You should have one for each cat plus an extra. And they should all be placed in separate areas so that no one cat can guard the boxes.

Same with the food. Keep their food and water separate as well so they don’t feel like they have to compete, and one cat can’t guard. Place separate bowls in separate rooms, even going so far as to make sure the bowls are nowhere within the line of sight of the other bowls.

Starting the introductions over again could help as well. Put the new kitty in it’s own room with everything a kitty needs - food, water, litter box (not near the food), scratching post, toys, and it’s bed. Let them smell and play footsie through the door for a few days. Go in and spend time with new kitty often. Try rubbing towels on new kitty and give the towel to the old kitty to rub and sniff, and visa versa. This is called scent swapping and cats normally do it to things they possess. You’re just helping them along by using a towel between them.

After a few days switch the kitties areas for a few hours. Put new kitty out in the house and old kitty in new kitty’s room for a few hours. Again, scent swapping. But don’t let them meet face to face yet.

After you have done all this and are feeling confident… try letting them sniff each other face to face through a cracked door. A baby gated door floor to ceiling is great too. Once you feel they’re ready… allow supervised contact. Expect hissing and growling but ignore those behaviors. Only intervene when there is real physical contact.

Go slow here and don’t push them. Remember to praise them when they are good with each other with lots of pets and reward them with treats.

During the first meeting make it fun and keep them busy. Playing, petting and feeding. You want them to associate pleasure with being near each other.

If things go bad… separate and start all over. It can be a long process, but eventually they will learn to love each other. And if they don’t at the very least, they will learn to tolerate living together.

Good Luck! I know how frustrating it is. I have been there and thought I was never going to get everyone calm. But eventually it happened. It just took time.

Clearly Marina is jealous, you being away and coming back with a new kitten, You have been with her all this and now some one else is taking her place. I have one cat, she's 9 now, I tried to bring in another cat, well no way, and it wasn't my cat that was aggressive, it was the new cat, she completely took over, always attacking my original cat, so I had no choice but to kind another home for the new cat. Then I brought in a stray kitten, which wanted to play all the time, wouldn't leave cat No. 1 alone, always jumping on her to play. guess my cat is a bit too old and set in her ways, so I had to give the kitten away and I really loved him(so so cute). I wouldn't get any more cats right now, So it'll take some time maybe Marina will get to like kitten, just show her a lot of affection and play with her trying to reassure her that you still care about her. Hope it all works out okay for everyone.

I have had experience with this! I have one adult Maine Coon Cat of my own, and I have also been fostering cats and kittens for about four years. My own kitty is very mild mannered, and is not territorial at all - he is more interested in making new friends. So he was actually excited to greet new litters of kittens or a new cat playmate in the house. While he enjoyed their company, he didn't seem to get too attached to them. The longest time I've had a kitty in foster care was for about 2-3 months, and this never seemed to be a problem. I would just get another set of kittens or a new cat in my care a week later, and he could make brand new friends. I think 2-3 months is too short of a time period for your cat to really accept the fosters as a member of the family. Also, try to be aware of the personalities of your current cats. My own kitty had instinctual paternal characteristics, and he seemed to enjoy grooming and snuggling with kittens. Not all cats can be like this. My recommendation is that you keep your own cats separated from the fosters for a few days to a week. Allow them to sniff out the newcomers through a crack in the door before they meet so that they don't feel intimidated by "intruders" in their household. After this, you will be able to know how they react to new cats in the house. If there appears to be a lot of hostility from your resident cats, then fostering is not a good idea. If they seems fine with the addition to the home, you should be ok with bringing in new fosters later on.

Hold the kitten and play with the kitten to ensure her scent is on you - then go play with your other cat (who is having the problem with the kitten) eventually she will get over her hostilities and will accept the new kitten. Just keep letting her smell the kitten's scent on you and throughout the house......can the kitten use the same litter box as the other cat - that would be helpful. Once the cat gets the idea that the kitten is a permanent resident, she will accpet her.

Hope this is helpful

Keeping her in a separate room for now is a great idea.

We have four cats and this is the way we've always introduced new cats into the household.

Like you, we keep new kitty in a separate room with food, litter box, bed and toys.

We let new kitty out of the room to interact with resident cats each day...like an hour the first day, two hours the second day and so on.

Also, get towels and rub each cat with their own smell.

Give the new cats towel to the resident cats and the resident cats towels to the new cat, that way they get used to the smell of each other.

Also a trick my Vet taught me and it works is, to put a drop of vanilla on the base of each cats tail and between each cats shoulder blades, that way they all smell alike.

Good luck with your new kitten

this sounds crazy but lock them in a room together for an hour or two a day. force them to be together and eventually they'll start to get along or at least tolorate each other. this happened to us. although both of them were kittens.. good luck !