Do you expect that your spouse touch base with you if they are gone for a long period of time?

seems like there some unresolved issues here on both sides,crying /getting mad,even worrying will not get you any closer to a resolve ,one of you has to bend,it seems that it will have to be you....let him go about his busy day don't call ,do say that you worry about him driving /drinking and you are fear full that something might happen and you love him too much to not to say something.and let it go ...people will do what ever they do there's nothing you can do ,its how well you deal with the issues,that come from the choices others make .however sometimes enough is enough and you must make a wise decision and deal with the consequences as he also will have to do ,be good to yourself and each other ,make yourself busy ,make him deserts and leave them where he can get to them when he comes in or a snack,start putting a effort into building a better relationship by being a better friend than those buddies hes hanging with ,romance him,,,,,it does take 2 to have a marriage that is comfortable ,sometimes it cant be work out ,at least you will have tried....good luck

Ok you need to turn the tables on him. Go hang out with your cousin or brother or what not--and make it more severe so the point gets across, after all you are a grown women and work for a living too right. Go out, be sketchy and don't come home til morning--AND DON'T CALL HIM!!!!! Then if an arguement ensues, make sure that you bring the points up to him. If he doesn't have to be accountable, neither do you.

Beyond that, you need to rethink this whole situation. Because for whatever reason he doesn't feel that you are an important enough part of his life to include you--even if it is a phone call when he is out. You should be a priority, and no matter what he should be thinking about you. I am glad that you are in counseling, next time you go, ask the counselor why you are staying in a one sided relationship, and how do you fix your self esteem, so that you know that YOU ARE BETTER AND DESERVE MORE THAN THAT!!!!!!! Seriously--look at yourself for who you are, what you put into the relationship and what you are getting back--it certainly sounds one sided. It sounds like you are his steady piece of ***, and he is a self centered dufus!!! Good Luck, take stock in your relationship, and do things for you--that make YOU happy!!!! Since you seem to be the only one paying attention!!!!!!!

Honestly, it sounds like your possessiveness may be a reason why he doesn't call you. Everyone needs time alone. The only time I called my husband to come home was the night before our wedding and I couldn't fall asleep without him there, I was so frantic about everything going right (no, it wasn't his bachelor party, that was the week before).

But being that he knows that you want some communication he could just send a text to let you know where he is.

You guys have a breakdown of communication. You need to come up with a plan to decide how you want to go about these things.

Why don't you go out when he goes out. That may take your mind off things a bit.

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I take it by the fact that someone thumbed down all the answers that placed even some of the blame on you (which by the way there is some blame on you for continuing a relationship with a man who has cheated on you several times) that you weren't looking for an answer but rather justification for your behavior, which is just as bad as his.

Fix yourself, don't worry about other people.

The way I see it is there is a level of respect partners should ave for each other. Your husband should have respected you enough to take a minute and let you know that he was okay and would be home a bit late. I don't think it makes a man look weak to keep his wife informed of his plans; it shows respect. I did't read everything you wrote because, well it was too long, but if you haven't already done so just tell him you get concerned when he's out of contact with you. And don't be afraid to call him even if you have upset with each other. He make be glad to see you caring about his actions and decide to come on home.

My husband before we got married usually would go out with his friends and I would willingly tell him not to come home.(I hated when he was drunk and would come home) But, he would call or text me through out the night to let me know he was okay. Now we are married and he actually does not go out at all, unless I am with him. We did have a similar situation and I told him i get worried about him(not that he was cheating, but getting into an accident) He respected that and now calls and texts me through out the day if he is not with me. He put it that I am his wife and he should not make me worry about where he is and what he is doing reguarless if we get into a fight or not. I would seriously sit down and talk to him about this. Tell him you understand he is a grown man and you are not looking to have him check in like a teenager but, you would like to know every couple of hours that he is ok. Tell him it has nothing to do with you thinking he is cheating ( even if it is, wording can be everything) Just you don't want to have to worry he got in an accident or something then ask him if it's wrong to worry about him. He can't argue that. Hope I helped. Good Luck

Well, if you want honesty, you're acting a little bit childish. It's going to be hard for him to take you seriously if you're always crying, bringing up the past (the affair is over - if he already apologized and you already said he's forgiven, you have to let it go. STOP bringing it up every time you get mad at him), and playing those games where you ignore him, then run out and make some antagonistic comment: "why are you telling me where you're going now?"

Just be an adult, and expect the same of him. You can't ask others what's normal for a relationship, because the definition changes for every couple.

It sounds like you DO need to get some friends. If you aren't so clingy, maybe he'll want to be around more.

It sounds as if you both have opposite view points. There is probably a more serious underlying problem though (concerning respect maybe). I agree that it is polite to check in, but at the same time I don't know that it should be mandatory. Perhaps if you stopped calling him he would start wondering why you haven't called and check in. I don't think it is something you will find a definite answer to on here, perhaps a counselor could give you better advice. Feel for you girl.

Yes I completely expect my husband to check in just so i know hes safe, just as I would.

Honestly I dont think any husband wouldn't be upset for that last part. If you were still upset with him you should have talked to him about it that night or in the morning. Dont wait until hes walking out the door to give him a back handed comment like "why are you telling me now, you didn't tell me yesterday". That's just asking for an argument. I dont know a husband that wouldn't be upset because of the way you handled THAT.

Bars get out at 1:30am. He got home at 2am. Doesn't sound too bad to me. It's hard to hear a cellphone in a bar. Just assume he was being ok, and tell him to call you if he's going to be out really late or ask him to come home earlier. Communicate, make sure he knows what you want out of him when he goes out and then it wont be a problem. You cannot expect him to call if he doesn't know that you want him to.

I expect the same courtesy from my Husband as I do from anyone else.

You would ask your kids, or anyone else sharing your home to let you know when they would be home and such, as you love them and care about their welfare.

Hope your man is joining you in those counseling sessions, as in working on yourself, you cannot 'fix' him.