Today, my 14 y/o cat Bella passed on and I am having trouble..?

Awww I'm sorry, sweetie. I was in your situation last year with the loss of my 19 year old Tuffy cat. When you've had a pet that long it's just hard to imagine life without them. Give yourself some time to grieve - it's totally normal. This just happened. I still cry sometimes for pets I've lost months - if not years - ago.

Gather up pictures of her and make a collage for the wall. This would be a fun project to include the kids with. You can share funny stories and memories of her and make something really pretty that can go up for everyone to see. If you have digital photos make up a slideshow that you can post online for others to see. You can set up a free page for her at http://www.catster.com/ Catster's a great place as well to share your feelings of loss - there's a lot of great people on there and an "Over the Rainbow" group for pets that have died. I was on there the other day and one of the other "cats" on there emailed my page for Tuffy asking if she could make "wings" for him - how cute is that? http://www.catster.com/cats/433948 if you want to see his page.

Another thing you do is check with your local shelter or Humane Society. They often have pet loss support groups that you can participate in. There's a therapist there that's volunteered their time and lots of other people just like you that have recently lost a beloved pet.

((((HUGS)))))

I'm so sorry for your loss and I understand what you're feeling right now...I just lost my two year old cat Minnie yesterday to illness. I was at work when I found out...even though I wasn't crying (yet), I was still in major shock. Fortunately, I work with a lot of animal lovers (including my supervisor, who insisted I go home, even though I said I didn't need to go, but I did anyway in the end because I couldn't concentrate). I'll give you the link to the question I posted yesterday about how to deal with this situation, that way you can see what people told me as well.

I know for myself, it's been so hard accepting that Minnie is gone and I'm sure you must feel the same way about Bella. It's just hard being in my house because everywhere I go and everywhere I look, I keep expecting to see Minnie there. I've actually stayed at my parents house more the last couple days because the house feels so empty without Minnie.

I wish I had some suggestions on how to get through this for you...all I know is that it is so painful to lose essentially a member of the family. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there...

Losing a pet is a hard thing to go through and I sympathize for your loss. At 14, Bella sounds like she must have had a full and happy life with you and it's not unusal to feel almost as if you lost a child. I've had my cat for 16 years and I know that when she passes on that I'm going to have a very difficult time dealing with it.

Let someone else dig the grave and focus on preparing yourself to make your final goodbye. The funeral is more for you than for Bella and this is your chance to remember what a wonderful cat she was and how much you loved her. Remember that one day, she'll be waiting to reunite with you.

You said that your kids are taking the passing of Bella well. Have a ceremony and have all of you participate...if it is too difficult for you to dig the hole, ask one of your kids to do it. I think your kids will understand if you tell them that this is too, emotional for you right now.

I would suggest planting a tree in her memory.

Losing a pet is so very difficult. I cried for days when my cat died. I felt guilty because I mourned more for him then some of my relatives that have passed on.

It got easier as time went on, and within a few weeks I got two kittens to fill the void.

If you have pictures of Bella, make a photo album. Read the following poem, Rainbow Bridge that talks about the loss of your pet. There are also chat rooms and online support groups that help people with the loss of a pet. My Vet recently set up his own support group. It helps to talk to others. I also made a donation to Cornell Feline Research in my cat's memory.

Best wishes to you.

http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

There are plenty of stray cats out there that could use a loving home.

I am sooo sorry for your loss, I know it is hard. I have cats now(one 10 yrs the other 8yrs) But when I was younger one of our Dogs was hit by a car and so I know how hard it is. We lived out in the country, and my step-father build a coffin like box to put our dog in and made sure to dig deep so that no other animal would dig him up. He also carved a little wooden marker for the grave. Our family had a ceremony and we buried him as a family.

I remember also that my mother was so upset when she found out that someone had to drive her home from work. Just remember you are not alone and there will be someone there to help if you need it.

I am so sorry. Bella has been with you for 14 years so you aren't going to get over this in a hurry. Been there, done that. The hardest part is convincing people that when an animal lover loses their pet its like losing one of the family. I lost one of mine when she was 22 years old.

For that reason a few years ago a number of support groups started popping up. Please search them out. Its always good to have a shoulder to cry on who understands your pain. Do a Google search for "pet loss support group" and a number will show up. Most of them have chat lines. As I recall, even the Mayo Clinic had a pet loss support group. It is finally something which people are taking seriously. Good luck as with any mourning period, it will get better with time.

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Please do not be hard on yourself as you said yourself you had eachother for 14years she was your first child. Now as for burying her I would reconsider doing this. First are you sure you will always be in the home that you are in now? Second are you sure no other animals will be able to get to her? My Hercules passed away almost a year ago and I still miss him terribly. We had Hercules cremated and now he has a special shelf with his picture, dog collar and a cross. This may be a better way to go. Then when I die he will be placed with me. Here is a site that helped me get through some of the grief. These people are great. The thing that helped the most was the ceramony that they preformed online for animals that had recently died. It helped with some closure. www.rainbowsbridge.com Please visit their site. Also remember Bella will be at Rainbow Bridge waiting for you to come home to her. Good Luck to you you will be in my thoughts

I'm sorry to hear you've lost your pet. Pets become part of our lives and part of our families and we rely on them to be there. This is difficult for you, and I'm sorry. However, you can't put off burying poor Bella. Have someone else dig the grave for you and even to bury her for you if you must, and then you can decorate her grave in any way you like. At the end of the day, you know you must move on with your life. But it's okay to grieve.

Have someone else do the digging. Loosing an animal that you were close with is one of the most hard things one can go through. Best of luck and stay strong!

Please accept my deepest sympathy. You have shared 14 long years with her and you need time to grieve. Grief is a personal thing and we all go through it differently. Take the time that you need and don't let anyone rush you.

Maybe you and your family can bury her together. Don't try to do it all alone. Again I am sorry about your loss.