Is it wrong to stay with the father of your child/ or mother of your child ?

At what point in all of this did you think you deserve to live unhappy just because you had a child with someone? Honey, I see hundreds of children a year from families that don't live under the same roof. Does it mean you don't love your child? No. Does it mean he doesn't? No. It means that the two of you just didn't make a relationship work. Nothing else. Nobody says that you can't live separate lives and continue to co-parent. And in all honesty, those are the plans you need to start making before you start resenting this man anymore than you already do. A person doesn't change who they truly are. So to appease you, he may be trying...but for what? To make you happy? Or because he really wants to become motivated enough to do something with his life? And is that going to change once you marry him and his comfort level sets in again? Chances are...it will. But by then, the I do's have been said and you are looking at a child who's old enough to know and it's not going to be easy to hide the anger and resentment you are going to feel for trying to stick this out. Those years, you can't get back. And if you think your child will be better off, think again. Children who grow up with parents who lack that love end up having love-less relationships themselves because they think it's normal. Don't do that honey. Give you and your child a chance at some happiness. We only get one life...make the most of it...don't settle. It'll only be harder and hurt more in the long run.

A child does not need its parents to be together. It is nice, but recent studies have shown that if a child is raised by divorced parents that both take an active part in the child's life, the child is actually less likely to become involved with drugs and crime than a traditional family in which both parents work. This is huge... Do not stay because you think you are helping the child. The relationship will suck and the child with think that adults just have crappy relationships.

Don't sleep around and try to pretend that you are still with him. Have some dignity. Decide what you want your life to look like in 5 years and then start working towards that today.... Good Luck

I grew up as a single child and my DD will likely be a single-child, too. I never missed siblings until I hit the teen years. But one experience I made is, that as the parent of a single child, people look down on you. "When #2 will come?" is a common question and when people hear, that I don't want more, I get strange looks and comments like: "You know, that she'll grow into a selfish something, if you don't have more, don't you?" or "You really should have more.". I feel blessed with the healthy cheery DD I have - I don't see the need of having more. With our given life-circumstances, one child is great for us. We can offer DD a wide range of activities, we are always there for her, she doesn't need to share her room. We can provide her with a nice lifestyle, which would be impossible, also money-wise, if we had more kids.

Look, you did things backwards - marriage and then family. What do you expect?

It sounds as though you aren't ready to be an adult role-model. You should not have had a child with someone and then be ready to bail out because you aren't attracted to them. That is a pretty lame reason. If you are involved with him or even living with him, it isn't okay to have relations with other people. It is still called cheating. Forget the "for the sake of my daughter" crap - I don't think anyone is buying it. You need to decide whether or not you want to or intend to try to build a life with this man and whether or not he will be capable of keeping his act together for the long-run. If the answer is no, move out with your daughter and start your life over again - maybe handle your life differently so that things will work out better this time around. Live your life in a way that makes you proud and in a way that you would want your daughter to emulate when she is older.

It's never a good idea to stay in a relationship for the sake of the children. You deserve to be happy and even so, your child will still have two parents but not together. Yes, you do need to live your life for you. If you're unhappy sooner or later your child will find out and that's a depressing evironment for them to grow up in. You're not being selfish by not being with him. Your child will grow up happier knowing that both of his/her parents are happy.

I think if you can afford it, stay out of it.

I am getting myself into the same situation. My partner is extremely lazy and cares only about play, not work. I am getting irritated and upset all the time. Our baby is on the way...

An irritated and upset mother is not a good example. I would prefer to live with a happy parent. If you can keep yourself happy, support your child by yourself then go for it.

Good luck!

Here's the deal: You are doing the honorable thing staying with the man who loves you and your child. Do you know wonderful it is to have a man who wants to be with his child and mother of his child?

You say you are "out of love." Okay, say you're driving your car. Your car runs out of gas. Do you go find a new car? Or do you fill it up? You fill it up of course. Now YOU have to fill yourself up with the love you had for him. What made you fall in love with him in the first place? Did he ever look at you and it took your breath away? Why does he love you so much?

Your daughter has a MUCH better chance in life growing up with 2 parents. Daughters that grow up without fathers are more likely to end up getting pregnant out of wedlock, using drugs/alcohol, or being abused in relationships. That's just statistics. You would give your daughter so much more out of life if she could see how a relationship works.

You will fight with him. You will get angry. You will love him again. You just have to give it a chance. You have to know in your mind that it is worth it. Honestly, after you have a child, life is no longer about you, its about your child. After your daughter is 18 years old, you can re-evaluate your life and see if you can live without the father of your child. But chances are, you wont be able to imagine life without him.

Good luck and God Bless!

Staying with the childs other parent, is just showing the child that its ok to be with someone and be unhappy. Just remember you are setting an example for your child. and having relations outside of marriage is morally wrong as well. Get out and find someone who loves you and whom you can return the love back

its never good to stay with someone if you don't love them .. if you don't love him then don't marry him ...

and no having relations outside of a marriage is wrong, your breaking a promise and setting a bad example for your child.

if your not happy then leave him and work out a good custody arrangement & child support order.

Dump him and move on. You already know he's not the one for you.