My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and he has changed so much but I'm?

You have to look at the bigger picture. If he is snappy could it be that he is stressed or worried about something at work, or healthwise? He may hate his job, or be ill and not tell you. Look at all possibilities and do not think it is you at fault.

Assuming your husband won't slap you around for aksing him a question. Then you should get rid of the kids for a few hours and sit him down and ask him what the problem is because he's got you on pins and needles and you're tired of wondering what you or the kids are going to do wrong next. If he can't give you a good answer then tell him to pull the stick out of his *** and start acting like the man you married or the marrage will suffer more then it already has. Tell him he has children and as a father he needs to get off the damn pitty pot and man up and lead the family and be strong. He owes you and the kids a minimum of that. Grow up!

Like with any man they take you for granted and get comfortable in there surroundings and assume you will always be there so feel that they can act this way....but at the end of the day it is making you unhappy and you shouldn't live like that.

Try arranging a day out as a family or getting someone to babysit and having your own time together. You need that every now and again to spice things up....after 10 years things can become a bit stale and need reviving. Let him know that he is loved and needed and he may feel happier.

Don't rise to his tantrums....let him have his sulk. Some men need to have there own time in their head.....if they have problems or are stressed they need to go to this quiet place to resolve things and then 9 times out of 10 they will come out of it on there own and generally be a lot happier.

Once a man in his his quiet time if he is interrupted and his quiet time is broken it will make him more worse than he was when he first went into it.

Unfortuanately most men are the same but not all us women are angels either. Unlike men we need reassurance and comfort when we are stressed most men like to be left alone to deal with it. Good luck x x

I don't know but it sounds like he's really stressed out about something that he's not telling anyone about. Maybe he needs to have a little vacation alone, so he can put things in perspective you know? he'll probably come back more appreciative for all of you. Or maybe stop feeding into his frustration, and try to ignore him. I know it'll be tough at first but he'll be okay, and so will you. The time will pass and he'll see that you're not giving him all of that attention, and then he'll see he needs to be nice to receive the attention. Does he feel that you two don't have enough intimate together, and he wants your focus to be all on him sometimes?? He might just want some big time affection, and he doesn't want to cheat, and won't cheat, and it's frustrating the mess out of him, and he's always irritated??? What do you think??

Oh, I hate the pity rant! My mother does it all the time! Where do people learn to do this stupid and upsetting emotional blackmail thing, and why on earth do they think it will help a situation?

If they aren't part of the solution they're part of the problem.

I think you're husband hates the fact that you're not exclusively HIS anymore, and resents the children for this. He might be trying to tell you he's feeling left out in some way. My suggestion is to talk to a relationship counsellor and see if you can find the root of the problem, and once you know why he does this, then you can look at the issues behind this behaviour.

I'm not an expert but if your husband is constantly blaming himself and keeps getting angry and irratated at small things then he should see a doctor or therapist because he may be struggling with a mental disorder and most of these are easily treated.

You may decide whether you want to get a divorce but I don't think that's what you want. Try and be supportive and tell him you want to help make him happy again etc, maybe he has problems at work?

He needs help but also your support. Good luck.

My husband is like this also. He turned 40 last year, hates his job, even though its a good one, and his mood swings are driving me crazy. I also do not want to "set him off". We have discussed it and he says he will work on it and he does for 3 or 4 days and we are back to square one. I know he is depressed, I have been there myself and see the signs, the only difference is I went to the doctor and got anti depressants to help and he will not. He never ask how my days is, he will go months without asking this, he is so burned out at work. So therfore our sex life is honestly not that great because I feel very insignificant to him if he can go months without asking me how I am doing. He works long hours and I understand that but so do I. The only thing he ever has to do for our kids is play with them. All I can say is he is a good man at heart and a great dad (he is not quite as crabby to the kids as you state yours is) and he stuck it out with me through my depression and my roller coaster emotions during both pregnancies, so I will stick it out with him. There have been a few times he has bordered verbal abuse with me and I told him I would NOT put up with that. And of course if he ever got physical, but I do not think he would. We have been married 14 years and together 18. I have had a lot of stress, my mom died and my neice was diagnosed with cancer at 11, it has taken a toll on me. But we said for better or for worse and I want my girls to have a mom and a dad. My parents divoriced at 10 and it took me years to get over it. I will not put my kids through that. And I tell myself all people who have been married for 50 years haft to have gone through the same things like this. Difference is they stuck it out instead of divoricing. Hang in there, you are not alone. I would however try to get the line of comminucation back open between you. I did this about 6 months ago when we hit rock bottom and I cannot tell you how much better and stronger I feel for it. We may still have some of the same issues, but I have stated my feeling and listened to his. One thing that works great for us is email. That way we do not yell at each other or get defensive. We have time to take it in and really think. It may work for you as well.

I'd get some back bone, and make a change. What are you afraid of, finanicial I suppose, but no boss could lord it over you for more than 8 hrs. Then how could you have any romance with this fellow. I'd be in bad shape also. The only unnormal thing I see here is your afraid of this oger. Call him out----SHOUT---dare to live before your dead. The lesson you give your boys is one of "eat it woman" and you do. I say you change not your spoiled husband (who I dare say would have to change to hook up again)

My husband is exactly the same way, we have been married for 8 years. I have children from a previous marriage and he always says he is unappreciated and can't do anything right. We have seperated right now, and I am going to counseling to learn how to deal with this myself because he will not go. I am hoping eventually he will but until then I must do what is right for me. I am not suggesting you seperate but I am suggesting counseling either as a couple or just for yourself to learn how to deal with his behavior. I agree with another poster that he may have a mental condition such as depression or anxiety that needs to be treated with meds but getting men to admit that is very difficult!!! Please for your own peace of mind find a counselor and go!!!

you guys need to talk. get rid of the kids for a night. have dinner....then climb up in his lap and say...."let's talk baby". and GENTLY...ask him what's bohtering him lately. tell him you noticed a change and just would like to know if it's something you have done, or what? keep a low kind voice at all times! if it starts to elevate....sit in quite a moment before you start again.

gl...hope it works out...for your sake and for the kids!