I am a divorced mother. Help?

The kid needs a safe person to be able to express their anger to. Unfortunately you are the safe person in his life, so don't take it personally. He feels able to get angry with you because he knows you won't abandon him. He can't get angry with dad for fear of further rejection.

Allow him to express his emotions, but don't allow him to be destructive about it, such as breaking things or violence. He needs to go thru the grief in order to heal.

The grieving process is denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. If he isn't able to work thru these stages, he will remain forever stuck in it. Understand his need to feel these feelings and trust it will pass.

I know firsthand its heartbreaking to watch your kids go thru this. But you didn't cause it and you can't change it.

Look around and see if you can find a support group for the two of you to attend. Many churches have divorce recovery groups for adults and simultaneous programs for the kids.

Good luck.

You are 100% responsible for everything you did, so of course you contributed to it. Until you be honest with yourself, you will not be over the divorce. even if he is the most moronic, lieing, cheating piece of trash on the face of this earth, you still are 100% responsible for your part in the partnership. Your husband might have left you, but did he leave your child, or is there still access?

Your child is grieving and that is natural...he has been left out of a whole family, and left without a father...how would you feel? First, you might want to consider that your child is reacting normally, and second it is acceptable, and expected to a informed parent. Read everything you can, and seek help so you can be the best parent possible. There are groups for children and groups for parents in your community, so seek this help. I would never, ever consider this as wrong or bad behaviour that is happening to you. That is really a way of avoiding the truth of your responsiblity, the decisions you made, and the consequences of those choices. When you review this you will see great decisions, and then the not-so great, and then you can treat your child with respect, giving him the respect and love and value he deserves. You can step up and with kindness discuss it the best you can, keeping in mind his age, and not filling the words you chose with blaming, but with logic and honesty and tenderness.

Allow this to bring out the best in yourself and become that parent you have always had the potential to be.

This is the time for you to be patient. Your child is also going through big emotions. Your child needs time to process everything. A child is never really over a divorce. Your child may need to speak to a relative, friend, or a therapist instead of to you as it is usually very uncomfortable to discuss these types of situations with ones' own parent.As for who's fault is it, it takes two people to make a situation happen. Even if it is your husband's fault, at leastg 5% is yours. Do not try to turn your child against your husband, this is a huge mistake for part of him is in your child. Your child will figure things out in due time and will know who did what to whom. In the meantime, you just should be supportive and be there for your child. Remember this divorce is not just about you, but actually your direct family is also affected. So be strong and take it step by step and day by day. Good luck!

I think its about time you start disciplining your child, that is were all this problem is getting rooted from. He would have acted the same way if you gave away his dog or maybe bought a chair he did not like. You are the mother and you did nothing wrong to create the divorce. Try to spend more time with your child, show your love more than ever and let him know that you will not tolerate his attitude by any means. I went thru the same thing and used to cry myself to sleep until one day that I did just that, her eyes opened up wider than ever and she knew then who was boss. Now, after a few years I could'nt ask for a better mother/child relationship. Good luck

Children go through an anger phase. Just assure her that although daddy no longer lives with us, we are STILL a family and that both parents love him. Try not to take it personally, but definitely do not accept disobedience or guilt tripping from the child. It's your responsibility as the custodial parent to maintain discipline and order in your house. You and your ex need to agree to present a united front where your children are concerned...otherwise, they will pit one against the other in a way of getting over.

I'd recommend getting some books or videos on helping your children cope with divorce. One that's really good, believe it or not, is Mr. Rogers Talks With Parents About Divorce. It's a bit dated, but I found it really helpful when I went through divorce nearly 20 years ago.

yes take your child to therapy.

he is probably feeling abandoned by his father -- his father apparently doesn't live with the two of you anymore, so your son is taking out his frustrations on YOU.

meanwhile, your son probably blames himself.

We don't choose our parents or our situations. And when we are children we are POWERLESS and have little or no control over our own situations.

As parents we need to realize how emotionally trying divorce is on our children... it hurts. Kids act out because they don't know what else to do, especially when their parents haven't stepped in to help thim.

try letting him talk to a psychologist, or ask if their is a counselor at school that could talk to him

just keep being a good mom but he needs to find a way to deal with his anger, it may take some time but just understand that its hard and he needs support from you although it hurts you

All you can do is to love them for what they are going thru.Listen to their anger. Tell them that their dad loves them no matter how rejected they feel.and that's all i got to say about that.

keep them entertianed and that will get there minds off of it maybe do something together