question to married or affair people honest answers?

I know where you are at. And how easy it is to sabotage something. It doesn't matter how you started out (in a way), what matters is what you both do from here on.

Here is my suggestion: think about the absolute worse case scenario. She cheats on you with someone else. That is surely the worst she can do, right? If so you will find out & have a broken heart then move on. You'll meet another, fall in love (best thing ever) and try again.

What is your other option? Not taking the risk. Not being with her. You can end it now if you want. But I wouldn't.

It is far worse to look back and regret something you didn't do than something you did do. At least you tried.

EDIT: just read the post of the person who answered above me. Actually you could turn this into a positive. We did. We know what cheating does & why it is wrong. You could meet 'someone fresh' who then cheats anyway. At least the two of you have experience & the issue is rght out there on the table to begin with!

Sorry, you can't "make doubt go away". Trust can sometimes take time and you either trust someone or you don't. You don't trust this person and it sounds like you don't trust yourself either.

All relationships are different and there is certainly no guarantee that this one will turn out like what happened in the past. The problem is on your end. It doesn't sound like she has given you any reason to doubt her with the exception of an incident that happened 6 years ago.

You say that you see each other, and that you have known each other for a while, so why don't you just try talking to her?

For one no one can choose when LOVE will take place. It can happen all at the wrong time some times. i have been there done that. Got my heart ripped from my chest and shredded. Now remember one thing you know while the affiar was going on it was all a game. You might not have thought that, but it really was. It was all about the chase and not getting caught. It very well not might not be the same once your with that person, and everything is put in real life. I hope this helps you out. In no way am I trying to discourage you. Just trying to give insight from what happen to me. I fell head over heels in LOVE with her was the sad part. Still do LOVE her is the really sad part.

There is a preconceived notation out there, that if you are married to someone else, you SHOULD NOT be attracted to someone else; That gotta be the dumbest thing I've ever heard; Now in saying that, if you are looking outside the marriage for something, whether it be friendship, laughs, sex or whatever, there's already is a problem in that marriage. We all stand up and promise to death do us part, and i'm sure we believe that at the time, because if not we wouldn't be getting married. Things change, priorities change and love changes. I don't believe we should be held in an unhappy marriage because we said "i do".... but don't screw the other people around. Get out, and really in any relationship, it's only as good as your first suspicion. Good Luck

This is actually the reason, that my BF (We started as an Affair. Lasted 5yrs) ended.

Course, he actually cheated on me in the final end. So I guess...my Issues of trust with him...proved true.

I'm sorry...I know you surely love this woman (As I truly loved my BF)...but I don't honestly believe these things ever work out in the end.

You've built a foundation...on deceit.

You've both shown each other...that you have the capabilities, to cheat. The "Know-How"...Of how to do it, and get away with it...for a while.

Even if you were to talk to her...and she were to "Commit" to you...You would still have doubts in your mind.

It's been 3yrs since my Affair ended...since my BF and I split up. To this day...even with a live-in GF, he still tries to get with me.

I am completely done with him of course. Finally seeing him...for the Dog he is.

I have learned so much from my experience...as a Cheater. I lost everyone dear to me...Friends, even some Family. My Parents were devastated...and my Husband...though not the man for me, surely didn't deserve the treatment he received.

I will never cheat again. I gave my everything, to a man...who turned out to be, so much less than worthy. Even after years of Friendship prior to the Affair...I missed one major flaw.

He was a Cheater.

Good luck to you...

Statitics show that a relationship born out of infidelity do not last. How COULD you possibly trust each other knowing the circumstances in which you came together?! Find a fresh, new relationship with someone else BASED on trust, and you will see the difference for yourself.

Have you and her ever been unfaithful to each other? if not im sure yall will be just fine. I think for most all relationships there is always a litlle bit of trust issues but sometimes you have to tell your mind to shut up and just follow your heart.

Learn to trust each other. You're sabotaging the relationship if both of you are so worried about cheating. So relax and just enjoy being with each other. Love is trust. If you are truly in love, no one will cheat.

If let myself get into your situation, I be my own worst nightmare. My opinion get out of this relationship, move on and take this as a learning experience. We learn through our mistakes and hope we don`t make them again. BEST OF LUCK!!!

oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice t deceive.

your relationship with each other started out being dishonest to your existing relationship. this question will always exist in the back of each of your minds.