Adoptees...did you miss looking like someone in the family?

No I never had an issue with this. It’s funny because just a short while ago this topic came up in my mixed raced group. About people having issues if they didn’t resemble their parents a lot and these were people that are not adopted.

I accept and embrace people’s differences I always have. So does my family we celebrated differences because that was the way it was meant to be.

OMG! Girl, I used to make up stuff, resemblances that may not have really been there. We were all the within the same color palette but didn't favor a ton. When I finally met my birth family, it was nice to see people who looked like me but it was almost weird! None the less, I am glad that I did it.

My a-parents never made me feel any different or made comments about it. Matter of fact, for years, no one even knew I was adopted. When they found out, it was just like "Oh!.... Ok!" I thought it was obvious but to others it really wasn't.

I'm looking at this from a couple generations down. My mother was adopted. For so long, the only place my mom could look for clues about her biological past was to my sister and me. She was always comparing our eyes, lips, legs, the way our tummies were built... It was like looking for her own mother in us. It was hard whenever the doctor asked "Do you have --- in your family history?", because we just never knew.

Many times, I would just like to know what country we're from. It's hard, because I've felt like we came out of everywhere and nowhere.

But last month, I had a baby. It's Mama's grandson, and I see the joy she experiences seeing a new life... She's never seen a boy who's related to her! She just studies everything about him. That wish she had to see her mother and father really did get answered, eventually.

The baby... He has her smile. And we know that somewhere, looking down on us, that must be her mother and father's smile, too.

:-)

I absolutely missed looking like people in my family, though we were a generic white bread family and my dad and a-bro have blonde hair/blue eyes like me. The hardest part was my height and physical build. I was 6'1 when I was 12 and my a-parents are tiny!

When I met my n-dad (who's 6'5) and my 1/2 sister (who's 9 and is as tall as I was when I was 9), it was just FANTASTIC to actually look like someone. For the first time in my life I felt beautiful.

Oh man, I've always been soooooo envious of people who are related by blood and can see themselves in their relatives.

My adoptive family was a "good match" on a superficial level. They are white, pale skin, brown hair. The similarities end right there. My afamily are short, kind of stocky build, with brown eyes and thin, mousy brown hair...I am tall, thin athletic build, with green eyes, full lips, and thick, golden brown hair (at least when I was young, lol). I stuck out in my afamily like a very sore thumb.

I used to HATE my long legs and my big lips. I would slouch and go around biting my lips inside my mouth to make them less noticeable, because I think on a deep level I really wanted to look like my afamily and it disturbed me deeply that I didn't look like them. I would often whine about how I didn't look anyone and I would say things like "even the dogs have brown eyes!"

I hate to say it, but the truth is that I was much more attractive than my adoptive family, and that made me Extremely self-conscious....especially when I would get attention from the opposite sex, and my amom would get mad at ME for flirting! Basically I felt like a whore before I had even done anything. It all came to a head when I was a teenager and my amom basically wouldn't let me date at all because she was sure I was "going all the way". And then when I did get pregnant in my twenties, her first comment was, "I always knew you would do this to me." What the hell? You always knew I would grow up to be a whore...like maybe my real mom was? Is that what you were trying to say you jealous b*tch?

Please excuse me, I totally digress. To answer your question, yes, I did miss very much looking like someone. When I met my nfather when I was 22, I looked strait into my own face. I look EXACTLY like him...except female, of course, lol. He is very tall, athletic, green eyes, full lips, thick hair. We have the EXACT same nose...which my own daughter also has, as well as the green eyes. It is totally awesome to look at the next generation and see me...and him.

being adopted from s. korea and being raised in a "white" family. it eventually became obvious to me that i was different.

but it made me proud to be different and i had many advantages over my family. lol.i dont get sun burn as easy, tan very well during the summer, lol. no allgergies, can handle spicy food. and less prone to illnesses than my adopted family. little stuff like that made me proud of who i am. but every now and then i do wonder i i have my moms HANDS because everyone thinks i have such pretty hands. lol it's discusting. lol. who's big lips did i get and which parnet had the wierd shaped nose that i have. lol.

never knew my biological parents so ya deep down there is an empty feeling of where did i come from? but i am very gratful for eing adopted and now i have a beautiful family of my own. two strong sons and a beautiful wife.

dont mind me asking how about did you find your biological parents???

Oh totally. I mean my a-family are all the same coloring and around the same height and all, but that's about where the similarities end.

My amom had skin that would tan after 5 minutes in the sun. Me? I'd be out for 5 days, get nice and red, then fade back to white. I joke that I have the "skin of a redhead" because I can NOT tan, but I don't have that gorgeous red hair to go with it.

My afamily were all pretty average size people, not skinny, not large, but me, I was skinny as a toothpick. I mean I was gross, my nickname by my oldest a-brother was "Bones". Thank god having a couple kids took care of that.

My adad, he had these amazing blue eyes, came from a really funky and eclectic German family, I LOVED that side of the family with all their quirks, in fact I take my screen name from my great-grandma on his side. She lived to be 101, she was a TOUGH little old German bird, lived on that farm of hers till she was 99.

But, that wasn't "my" heritage, and I longed to know "where" I came from. Who I got my brown-green hazel eyes from, this odd non-tanning skin from, this super fine but super thick hair from.

It was really grounding to reunite and finally see these things in my n-family members, and finally KNOW that I came from real people. I finally felt whole for the first time in my life.

I was pretty conscious of it. They would try to tell me that I looked just like them, simply because most of us had blue eyes, I guess. But, outsiders would point out the differences sometimes. I'm clearly of Celtic origins. One look at me and it's obvious. Red hair, freckles, fair skin, light eyes. I was also tall and lanky, which didn't fit at all in my afamily.

I have this picture of my nmom from when she is in her late 20's. She is standing next to her husband. No one else is in the photo except the two of them. Nearly everyone who has seen it has asked me who that guy is in the picture with ME! And, when you look at me next to my father, there's no question, either. I'm such an obvious blend of the two of them. I really was happy to finally have the genetic mirroring that most folks take for granted.

there is not any-one that i'm finding for as such. i've got a number of 0.5-sisters and a nil.5-brother that i've got by no potential even met. the single guy or woman I pass over is my gorgeous brother who re-placed to France ten years in the past. there is by no potential an afternoon is going by making use of that i don't think of of him. :-)

Yep, still do.

I'm very obviousy celtic, pale, lil nose, freckles, red hair, etc...

The adopted family are all tall, willowy and dark.

I was always the odd one out, in a lot of ways.

I would love to see my parents, they died when i was very young and I don't have any pictures.

I'd just like to know who's eyes I have, who's nose....

Wether I got my book interest frm my parents, or my love of extreme sports lol.

All I want, is to see where I came from.