can a father get custody of his children legally?

Ok. First of all, where on earth do you get the statistic that 95.5% of moms gain custody? I can tell you right now that is completely untrue. On the contrary, many women, MANY have lost custody for no other reason than because they didn't have money to fight the legal system or pay attorney fees. Stay at home moms lose custody all the time. Why? Because they don't have a nest egg to fight their husbands in court.

It is a complete stereotype to assume that any mom without custody is such because she's a failure as a mother, or a deadbeat parent. Completely untrue. I am living proof of that - or I was. Now I have custody, but for a time I didn't because I couldn't afford an attorney. But that is beside the point.

I do believe children should have both parents in their lives, with the exception of abuse and neglect.

Your son needs legal advise - not you. Let him fight this battle and you just need to worry about supporting him and being a positive role model for your grandchildren. There are children involved, and they have a right to have both parents in their lives - even if it means limited or supervised visits with mom until she sorts out her drama.

A father can most definately get legal custody of his children during a divorce.

First I would suggest he consult with a divorce attorney. Other than that... If he can provide evidence that she is an unfit mother then he has a good chance of getting custody of the kids as long as he can also provide evidence that he can provide a stable home.

Things that are important for the judge to find out when deciding custody cases are basic everyday things: Who takes the kids to the doctors? Who makes dinner and does the bedtime ritual? If they're in school - Who goes to parent-teacher conferences or class nights? Who is making sure the kids actually go to school, get their homework done, study, etc.

Best thing is to seek legal counsel but that may give you an idea of what he should be dealing with.

Gender should no longer be a factor. I guess the best that you can get would be 50% share between parents. One week with the mother, one week with the father.

School is a factor. If one parent moved out of the area, one parent may get alternate weekends.

If the children are old enough, they may have a parental preference. The court may appoint a lawyer to represent your children. If you have no money, the court may be able to pay for this. The child's attorney may also help to diffuse the anger between the mother and the father.

As I understand, every U.S. family court has a support center. They will help you if you do not have an attorney. They will give you the forms that you need to fill out. When complete, bring the forms back to them to review. After the papers are filed, they may be able to serve them on your spouse.

The family court courthouse may have people to help you with your forms if you do not have an attorney. Tell them what you want to do and they will give you the forms to complete.

Lori K is right. It still depends a lot on the bias of the court when there isn't much evidence...An experienced lawyer knows how to avoid the old fogey judges...but it can be hard to find one in many areas. you are obviously a concerned parent that wants to help your boy and your Grandkids...and he is obviously busy trying to work and keep things going.

Since you have access to a computer...try some searches to find out what are the options available in your area for legal aid. Find out what is going on in the courts in your area. Maybe even go and sit in on some child custody hearings to get an idea what is really going on.

ps. Next time you ask Q's like this in YA it helps to mention the area you are asking about...state and location of the courts you would be in...you will get better answers. Some people like to research stuff for the fun of it especially those who are homebound because of medical problems! ( I have a couple broken ribs and sometimes will spend a lot of time researching recipes for people just for the heck of it.

Unfortunately, you are right that most of the time, the courts blindly give full custody to the mother. Also, she will most likely get to collect way more "child" support money from your son than she actually spends on the children, and she will never be held accountable for it.

I hope your son has a really good lawyer. He will need one.

I know plenty of men who have sole custody of their children. The tides are changing. A lot of the time now they issue joint custody. Every other week or one parent gets them during the summer, the other during the school year. He needs to hire a baraccuda of a lawyer and fight her. If she is going to take them to a shelter or move them from place to place, the court will likely rule in favor of your son. Good luck.

He needs a lawyer. He shouldn't have a problem getting custody, even joint custody. If he files for divorce he should cite her drinking problem and any other stuff against her. He can get a lawyer and and until there is a custody hearing, get sole custody. Hopefully, they both can work together for the sake of the kids. It's tough, and there is always one parent who is a jackass. Hopefully, he can get through this.

It takes awhile but it is possible. My husband has full custody of his 2 boys, apart of the agreement with one of the moms was he has no contact and she doesn't have to pay child support, the other one just dropped out of the picture. But as soon as a judge hears she now where to take the kids and he does and can provide for them he should have no problems.

Sadyl you will need to get your son to seek legal advice regarding this matter. If it is as bad as you say, then your son has a reasonable chance of getting custody. What would help him immensely, is if he could get proof good enough for court to prove his case. This would give him a fighting chance.

He needs to have a lawyer present this in court. (providing proof)

He could go for full custody or joint custody.

PS I don't think that she's going to the shelter just to collect foodstamps. She's going to the shelter to get away from him for some reason.