I FEEL BAD FOR NOT FEELING BAD?

hello Bonnie.

I read your question and felt so enraged by it.

you sound so guilty and you my girl are not.

You are not a bad person in fact you are a very nice person to have guilty feelings about things you had no control over, but you do need some form of help pet you need to seek some form of professional aid to help you overcome your feeling of guilt and worthlessness.

I can understand your feelings of hatred and contempt I think i would feel the same way especially if my family had treated me in that manner. but you are right it has been long enough

Its terrible that you had to deal with this trauma at such a young age but this is what happens in many countries and it is not your fault. Some people are still cavemen and have backwards thinking. I know, my relatives are somewhat the same way. But you have to remember that this is not your fault and no one blames you for hating them. Its so easy to hate someone who wronged you and its easier to hate anything and everything associated with that person[like your child] But I think you really need to stop wasting so much energy hating him. Really, can't you see this hate is affecting your life. You say your not married and have no children, well maybe if you can let go of your hatred and move on you can have all of those things, you can have a good life. You should really consider speaking with a therapist because its hard to deal with these feelings and maybe talking to someone about it can ease your pain and eventually you can forget all about what happened, or at least get over it, and move on with your life. You should consider speaking with your child because it will help to heal your wounded heart but only see your baby when you are ready, preferably after speaking with a psychiatrist.

Hope it all turns out for the best.

&& remember this is not your fault, and the way you feel is natural after having undergone such a terrible experience.

Everyone that answered your question is supportive and you should stop blaming yourself for this terrible event that happened in your past.

His dying does bring you some closure because you no longer have to fear him. Unfortunately, a lot of women do not bond with their children, but society tends to think this is wrong. I would rather you abandon the child to the father and family, then mistreat the child or even as some women have done kill the child.

You should now concentrate on trying to live your life

Victoria, I am sorry to hear that there is a bit of disrespect in your house---but a 33 year old will never move out if mom is dottering and spoiling him---why should he go?? trouble is he will never learn how to peacefully co-exist with a woman on a mature level...what a shame. You are also witnessing a bit of crude disrespectful behavior that comes from being family and living together all these years. To an outsider this all sounds terrible--to you and your brother it is just day to day living. So say no if you have to--he won't explode or turn blue. Relax, be cool, be nice, and good luck-----SMILE

oh my god. NONE of that is your fault. okay? NONE OF IT! I would suggest just trying to get your life back on track, maybe involving the police in the matter so the child will be okay and possibly get a restraining order from the father. You could defenitely sue and I suggest you take some legal action. but the important thing is to realize that THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Just stay with some good friends and try to get a boyfriend that you actually like. But take some time and connect with yourself.

Well, you where put Thur things non imangble. So you where still a child and guessing still. You won't have love to the child sense you where forced. And you may be excited because you probally feel like you have a clean slate. So just try to forget the past and move on.

Emma

I think you have every right to feel they way you are. You were forced to have a child and if you didn't want a child from the start it's ok that you don't feel motherly towards it.

you can hate him and his family, but that child is a part of you. look at what they did to you, can u really let that happen to your child. you should not hate the child. bad things happen to people everyday, but you can forget about the past and move into the future, maybe you dont want to raise the child, but dont let it live in that situation, at least help it by getting it out of that hell whole

well i don't think you should feel bad coz maybe you hated the child coz you hated the father of it and you did not love the father and did not choose to have the baby.

also i think you should try to get yourself to be happy in whatever you do coz you've been in the dark for too long and no one deserves to be treated the way the man and his family and also yours treated you.

I do not blame you at all for feeling the way you do , your parents were very wrong to do what they did to you , but right now i think its best that you seek a proffessional to confide in ,because if you hold this up to yourself it will end up detsroying you ,all the best , and again pray God always listens .