what do i do?? true love or guilt? care for or die for?

Question

8 and a half years ago i was with a guy who i was head over heals with, i would have done anything for and i guess i can honestly say was my soul mate! we split for reasons that when i look back on really shouldnt have made us split.... 6 and a half years ago i met a guy who i fell for but not really felt like i belonged wit, something was always missin we now have a son together and have been married for a little over a year, ( been together 6 n half ) in this time we have rowed constantly and i have always felt it was wrong and something was missing, i never for got the guy i was with before not a day went by where i didnt wonder how he was or where he was or what he was doin, in january this year my "husband" and i split and i was determined that this would be the last time, then about 6 weeks ago, i got back in touch with the guy i was with before, instantly i felt old feelings rise in me, i met up with this guy and as soon as i saw him i realised that the thing that wasnt right and was missin was him, i am now divorcing my husband and have started to rekindle my relationship with this guy, but still have some doubts as to if im doin the right thing, i have never been happier and everything just feels so right, i feel home, complete with him but my husband has taken this very badly, and has attempted to take his life twice. i feel so bad i have caused him so much pain and still care for him...... what i need help with is should i try again with my husband or should i follow my heart and be with who i truely believe to be my soulmate? should i let true love pass me by or grab it with both hands? do i do whats right by my husband or do i right by myself and feel complete?

Update:

i feel really bad for my husband and wish i could stop him hurting but i dont know how, i spent so long livin to his rule and being un happy, i wish all the happiness in the world for him and hope he gets through this and wish he could find his true love, he says its me but i dont feel like i can give him what he wants, i just dont and if i am honest never truthfuly have loved him the way he wants me to.

i feel like such a cow, but i wish him no harm i just want to be happy

Self propelled · Answer

You are dead right in seeking advice.Your situation is critical:on the one hand you may save a human being who further more is your husband, and, on the other you're after your own happiness.If i were you i would go for the first.Your life is not in danger with your husband Madam.More over i am quite sure that by now he has had enough experience to be ready to make up for what he had done.
From what you say your ex is of a stronger built than your husband.Now mind a repeat. Your husband will come back defeated and in a weaker position and much easier to handle;whereas the other one will make a come back of a victorious guy.
Choose for yourself.
Good luck

teachexedkids · Answer

As much as you don't want to hurt your husband, you have to follow your heart. If you not complete in the relationship, it will most likely end eventually anyway. And if it doesn't end, the two of you will know its not right to be together.   Tell him you love, but you're not in love anymore. You care for him and it's not fair to him to stay when you don't love him like he needs you to.  Let him down gently.  Your heart will find a way to where it needs to be.

Anonymous · Answer

"have never been happier and everything just feels so right," - quote. that should tell you all you need to know , go with your heart .breaking up is difficult and everyone makes mistakes lucky you have found this guy again and he's not gay/a priest/ happily married/dead

semma · Answer

Follow your heart. I feel sorry for your husband, but it is also better for him because now he may find the real thing for himself as well.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree.  I was/still am in your situation.  Follow your heart and the one that really makes you happy inside.

Anonymous · Answer

do i do whats right by my husband?

yes.  and that means not being with him out of sympathy and staying with the first guy

Anonymous · Answer

Let urself follow ur heart !!!

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what do i do?? true love or guilt? care for or die for?

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