Adoptees - do you feel it is your place only to search or does your fmom have as much right to search as u do?

I used to think that she should find me. I felt like I would welcome the knock on the door from her, but would never want to invade her privacy. Because of this, I never searched.

Now, I feel that if either party feels that they want or need to search for any reason then they should. There is nothing wrong with adoptees wanting to know where they came from and there is nothing wrong with mothers wanting to know how their children are. I think both should search if they want to.

What would I prefer? Honestly, there would be nothing better than to be found.

Both have the right to search. Most definitely.

Not adopted, but I think if you give up the child, you give up all of your rights as a mother--including the right to know them. However, I think leaving contact info with the adopting agency is appropriate, so as to make it easier to be found if your child decides to seek you out.

I reckon being found would be better, because if you get chosen than it would make you feel good :)