Am I wrong for letting my husband handle his own battles with our daughter?

Dad to daughter after misbehaving: "Go to your room for a 5 minute time out."

**Daughter ignores him & continues to do what she was doing**

**Mom does nothing**

Dad to daughter:" I said go to your room for a time out."

**Daughter continues to disobey**

**Mom still does nothing**

That IS NOT showing a unified front if this is the typical scenario between your husband & daughter.

Before it even gets to that point, you should have been stepping up beside your husband & if nothing else, "You were told to go to your room. Now go." That is not "cleaning up his mess", that is proper parenting.

As long as you do nothing, she is going to not obey him thinking that she doesn't need to since you are not backing him up.

If he needs to tell your daughter more than twice to do something, you should already be in the room with them to prove to her that she needs to listen to both of you, when she is told to do it, not when she feels that mommy isn't telling me to do it, so I don't have to.

Good thing to do most of the time. If it's just between the two of them, he should be the one to enforce what he's saying has to be/the way it is in your home. You remember being a young girl...when you are talking to him about this (not around your daughter), give him some things that she may be thinking so he's more on point. Dads don't really know what to do with their daughters as they get older at times.

If it's something you both have let her know is just a rule of thumb than calling in for backup (at times) is a good way to show you are a united parental team who want the best for her whether she agrees with your rules or not.

I say you people are supposed to be a JOINT couple and therefore do things together. Did you forget that part of your vows?

It's easier for the kid to get away with junk when both parents are divided.

Stand as a united front and the kid has no choice but to listen.

So what if your weren't there. Unless your husband is prone to making up stuff, I say you listen to him and stand by him. Did you forget that promise too? To stand by him no matter what? Maybe they left that one out...but it doesn't mean it's not right.

All you have to do is say, I agree with your father. You don't' even have to know what you're agreeing to because you know that he's right. Unless it's something where you're truly split. Ie. He thinks it's bad to watch TV for 4 hours and you think she should be able to be watching all day and night.

In that kind of situation, you say to the child well get back to you, we need to discuss things first. You then go and compromise, then come back to the child with the end result.

NO ONE said you had to punish the child right away for stuff. You can give yourselves a few minutes to discuss whatever it is.

That's a tough situation but I agree with you that he needs to earn his own respect from your daughter, but there may be times when you have to back him up as well. My husband and I generally take this approach: we don't gang up on our kids. Neither one of us calls in for back up unless absolutely necessary but we do back up each others decisions, at least in front of the kids. If we disagree about the how the other handled things we discuss it after the kids have gone to bed. I am the primary disciplinarian for our daughter since my husband is her step-dad but if he is home and I am not he handles things. With our sons he is the primary disciplinarian.

I feel like you are correct in this matter. The reason being is if you come in and give your opinion and dad just follows along she will see it and it will only reinforce her behavior to not respect him. Also you need to back him up in what ever punishment he does give so she can see that you repect him. What ever you do, do not disrespect him on other topics either, even if they do not pertain to her personally, she will pick up on your lack of respect for one another.

I understand what you mean.....and yes he should handle it him self, my husband always makes me deliver the punishments why am I always the bad guy????

Don't worry your doing the right thing, she needs to respect your husband and not think of you as the punisher.

Good Luck :-)

Every once in a while, it's important to let the other parent handle the situation, but if you aren't representing a united front, your child may feel that they don't have to listen to the other parent. I know that when my step-daughter tries to ignore me I have no problem calling daddy in just as proof that she needs to listen to me, and vice-versa. When she's not listening to him, he will call me in and between the two of us we get her straightened out.

I hope that makes sense.

Parenting is about team work.

Both my and my ex, are always a team when it comes to my daughter

You ignoring your husband, shows your daughter you don't respect him either.

obviosly sweet heart u aren't helping ur husband 100% its good that ur trying to let him handle his daughter but if hes having problems u should b by his side helping him.......luv u :)

Nothing wrong wit supporting each other, helping each other out, being partners.

How would you feel, if you were struggling with your daughter, asked for his help & he said 'figure it out yourself'?