Would you tell a married couple that has an unwanted pregnancy that they shouldn't have had sex?

Ha! It is such hypocrisy isn't it? The "you shouldn't have had sex" line is only really delivered to single or young (or both) people with an unwanted pregnanacy!

While it is true, people need to be aware they can pop out a small person if they have sex, that doesn't mean they shouldn't have sex, it means they need to be careful, use precautions and have plans in case it doesn't work out.

BTW I have seen stats reported a few times that the majority of women going for abortions are in fact married or in a de facto/stable relationship. Additionally, at least here in Australia most of them are over 20 and well educated.

I also don't get why people think if you've been irresponsible leading to pregnancy, you shouldn't have an abortion, whereas if you used birth control properly, it's okay? Why are these people trying to encourage irresponsible people to have children as punishments. If they're ireresponsible in the first place, and want an abortion, they would probably not make a great parent if they're forced into it. Not to mention it's unfair on the child!

Harriet

Well, considering that your hypothetical couple is pregnant, it wouldn't make sense for them to stop having sex at this point. I see your point though. I'd probably counsel such a couple (married or not) to be on birth control, and if the woman has a hard time taking the pill every day or what-have-you, then I'd recommend asking her gynecologist about other alternatives that don't require remembering things at a specific time each day. Of course, birth control is never 100% effective, so these couples do end up with unwanted pregnancies every once in a while. I wouldn't ever tell an adult couple that they shouldn't have had sex or shouldn't have sex in the future.

As for teens, my attitude changes a little bit to more about education about pregnancy and STDs, how to protect oneself and still have meaningful relationships, etc. I wouldn't tell a 16-year-old not to have sex either, mind you. That wouldn't do any good. I'd probably tell a 14-year-old not to have sex though. Early education is important, in my opinion. They need to know all about sex by the age of 14 and STDs and pregnancy and all that. Without this knowledge, teens can make some big choices that result in consequences they really didn't expect and might have to live with for the rest of their lives.

I was told some pretty rude things when I had my first miscarriage, and I was married. I had someone actually say, "well maybe you'll plan it better next time," as though my miscarriage and agony from the loss of a potential child was misguided and happened because I did something wrong by not being prepared enough. It made me so angry, but at the time I was just too shocked to say anything. Why on earth would you make such a judgement about a couple in such pain, especially when they're married. I can understand that some people have religious/moral guidelines that say that sex out of wedlock is wrong, even though I don't agree with that, but to put down a married couple for getting pregnant when they didn't appear "ready" for a child according to some ignorant, bigoted attitude is just asinine.

Some people are just like this. They'll judge you no matter what you do, and it's always the most annoying to me when they're Christians. After all, the Bible says, "judge not, lest ye be judged." I love pointing this out to such people.

If they were indeed using birth control, then they were not being careless. Of course I would not expect someone to have a sexless marriage just because they didn't want a kid. However if they still don't want kids, one of them should have an operation to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I don't think that the message to teens, etc, should be "Don't have sex." It should be "Don't have sex with just anyone, and be careful about it." Alot of the issues arise when people end up having a child with someone they don't really care about or don't plan to stay with long term. Also, alot of people are careless with prevention methods. Accidents do happen but alot of them could have been prevented.

Well, sex IS an important part of marriage. I am pro life, and I am not going to start an abortion rant, just saying that there is never a perfect time to have a baby. My husband and I had only been married 7 months when I conceived on birth control, but I know that we can make things work.

I wouldn't tell them they shouldn't have had sex. They're being responsible by using birth control, and as was mentioned, sex is important in a relationship. If a couple is being responsible in their sex lives, I wouldn't say it to them either (be it teens or unmarried people).

Raising children is a huge responsibility, one that should not be undertaken merely due to a pill not working or a piece of rubber breaking. If that child will negatively affect your future potential to the degree that your living situation will impact the child in a harmful way (i.e. - poverty), then it probably would have been better to abort it and have one when you're ready.

I personally dont think it matters if you are married or unmarried. It doesnt take a marriage to raise a child or children. What it does take is love, time, compassion, understanding and etc. I dont think people should have more kids then what they can support, not bc oh my tax dollars this and that, its because I dont think its fair to the child. Children never asked to be born and so I think that as us parents we should try to give them the best life we can and living in proverty with 7 kids is kinda hard to do. As far as healthy sex life in a marriage I think that is a small part of it, and only bc as humans we do need to connect with someone on that type of level, do I think sex is all their is to keep a marriage together no. It takes a lot more then sex to keep a happy healthy home.

No I would never say that. While many people say you should wait until you are married to have sex, I have never heard anyone say married couples should not have sex. Married men and women SHOULD have sex, but should use birth control responsibly if they do not wish to have a child. If a married couple gets pregnant while using birth control correctly, they have every right to choose how to handle the pregnancy.

Developing and building a healthy Love Live is what marriage is all about!

If you don't intend on having sex, there's not need to get married.

For someone to tell a married couple that they shouldn't have sex is cruel, insensitive and unrealistic.

With changing circumstances, the rich can become poor. Without a happy and healthy sex life, you have no marriage, or fooling ones self, or just in denial.

I won't bring in pro life or pro choice. That's something entirely different item and options would need to be searched.

Me! :- )

I wouldn't necessarily tell them to not have sex because, yes, sex is an important aspect of a healthy relationship. however, being old enough to be married would show that they should be smart enough to take ALL of the proper precautionary measures such as birth control and a condom because we all know sex makes babies. if they still become pregnant i believe they were meant to have that child. i wouldn't tell them to not have sex but to be very cautious about it if they aren't ready for kids yet. something such as Mirena might be something they should try because it can be removed when they are finally ready to conceive.

well first off dont ask a question and tell people to leave their religion out of it because for many people religion is a LIFESTYLE & what they base each day waking up doing not just a sunday mroning chuch service.

but anywayez thats besides the point.

first of all..

usaully people arent telling single people to not have sex, they are telling them to take the proper precautions to not have a child.. no single person should be TRYING to bring a life into this world without a stable marriage & FINANCIAL ability. the two go hand in hand. the bond between a child and its mother and father are very important n very much affect a person throughout their life. and having a child where there growing up with primarily one over there can create an imbalance. my neice is a mess because of her parents instabilty.

i do agree that even married people should be using proper precautions if they really cant finnancially afford it.

if you pay attention all these forums mostly people are talking about safe sex not abstinece caz in the reality of today sex has lost its meaning. sex was intended for marriage and always has been from the begginging of time.. it has nothing to do with religion it self its VALUES.

there are atheists out there who believe that virginity is something that should be saved for the person you will spend the rest of your life with.

maybe we'd control some diseases out there if people had the mindset..

trust me im no angel.. im 19 years old im not married n im 31 weeks pregnant with a little girl.. i made a mistake but im glad to say that i am going to be gettin married to the babies father.. because i know once we have made that commitment to eachother it symbolic of a FAMILY union in all we do AND enables my bf to take care of us health benifit wise.