Family issues...busy life...grandparents not being able to see the kids.?

Show them in black and white your schedule. and have that talk with them. They can come visit you or come pick you up. What's their problem.

When you try to set things up and they are put out by that they aren't being very caring people. While it may hurt you may have to put them on the back burner and let them stew by themselves. If they are not going to be considerate enough to hear why you have the problems you are having you may have to cut them off for a while. Harsh, yes, but when they call about it just say well, we're still here you can visit anytime. Don't let them dump on you that way. No parent should.

We have similar challenges with the in laws. They think that we have to drop everything or that we don't have anything of our own to do that we should be following life according to their schedule and speed - after all most of them are non-working moms, work at home dads and retired people. For goodness sakes, they have to respect your situation. I have found that simply not communicating is better than getting into a fight because they will always say that we are wrong but they don't offer any solutions for making it easier either since they don't want to come to our home at all and especially not at a time when it is convenient for us. In laws are weird because they want to control your life and to have everything go the way they feel is good for them. But, you have to live your own life and they have to let go to a distance. It's hard but you have to stand your ground. Mom's stress level is important and you need to remember that you simply can't do it all. Kids change everything and it changes how much free time you have - that's life. They have to get over it but it will be an ongoing battle. I mean - if they saw the kids 3 times a week they would still complain but they wouldn't want to live with you or you with them right? My in laws are also too elderly to take proper care of our children and there are safety issues in the homes of all of our in laws since we have a child with developmental delays. But, we can't tell them that. I wish we could be honest and open but they never agree and will say we're wrong. If I ask for the slightest thing, my in laws are offended and say I'm wrong. If I ask - when we come over can you move the wine rack to an area where my DD son can't get to it? She gets angry that we would force her to do anything different than she normally does. They only thing that has worked for us is to simply be diplomatic about things and not completely telling them everything all the time. They also hate that but it's really a control issue. We usually just wait until they ask us to do this or that and then kindly let them know that it is not possible due to work, school etc... It's never worth fighting the in laws. Friends tell me that it takes a good 10 years of marriage before you even begin to feel comfortable in relating to each other. I just don't understand it, I mean my husband and I don't have these issues and I love him but I can't get along with them. It's just the way it is - you can't get it through their heads so you just deal with it as it comes. That's how I've found it to work best. Remember the Lion King phrase - Hakunah metata - it's like what will be will be. Let it roll off your back as much as possible and just be positive when talking to them and don't always follow through on what they want. We do that too which also aggravates them. Like well say yeah - we'll call you to set something up and then we don't. Or, great - let me get home and check the calendar and let you know - then drop the matter. Oh, well. On some occasions, I say I'm going to show up - and then I just don't show up and the kids go with dad or someone else.

Is it possible for your parents to bring them to have a family potluck dinner once a week, so you are not totally responsible. If not once a week, maybe every other week, or cycle between your home, your parents home, and your grandparents home, so some pressure is taken off you. Maybe a breakfast one week, lunch another, dinner a third, but let them bring something to feel they're still participating.

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screw them. let them come to you if they want to see the kid. your not a taxi service.

grandparents are overrated anyways.

i would personally take the time away from mil and give it to your family though. maternal grandparents are more important.