religious differences?

Question

I';ve been in a relationship with my bf for over a year and we get along great - except for some differences in religious beliefs.  He was raised in a Christian family, and aside from us, nearly everyone else attends church every Sunday.  I was not raised in a particular religion, and although I consider myself a spiritual person, I prefer to keep my own beliefs a private matter.  

My bf and I have had involved discussions on this, and what it comes down to is he respects my beliefs and I respect his, and neither of us is trying to convert the other.

Especially around religious holidays, many people in his family invite us to church, and I always politely decline.  I don't want to be a hypocrite and attend a service simply because it's expected of me.  My bf used to attend this church with his wife, and since they split, he's fallen away from it, although he still maintains his beliefs.

It's becoming increasingly awkward and I feel like his family is looking at me like I'm the godless heathen who is causing him to stray.  I think he would like us to attend church every once in awhile, but I think that would make me a complete hypocrite.  How do I handle this?

SarAnn · Accepted Answer

Unless you are impacting his willingness to go, then don't worry about it.  Let him know that while you have no interest in attending church that you can find something to amuse yourself while he goes.  If he has an ex-wife, he should be a big boy by now and able to go out to church on his own.  If he doesn't want to go without you, then that's his problem, not yours; he can explain that to his family.

Theresa · Answer

Your beliefs sound very similar to those of my husband and me, and we have been happily married for 16 years. I do attend church with my husband's family when we are in the area visiting them - which is like once year - just out of respect towards them, since I don't agree with most of their beliefs, but I see no reason to start a conflict about it. My husband and I are raising our 3 kids with a combination of our beliefs, and the grandparents don't have that much influence. 

Your situation sounds a little tricker, since it sounds like you live nearby. I see nothing hypocritical about attending occasionally to keep up goodwill. I also think your bf could attend without you, if that is what he wants to do. 

If you all get along and don't have an issue about this, I wouldn't let it turn into an issue. His family may think that you are a negative influence, but in the end, it is really only what he thinks that counts.

Maxwellnithsdale · Answer

Compromise., 

Attend the Unitarian Church. It is a place where Liberals and Consrvatives join together as it is a compromise  type of belief and quite profound also of religion for many faith groups recetive to Agnostics or Atheists. LOVE GOD.

Read Ralph Waldo Emerson poems and books and learn tolerance for oters who are genuine too like you are genuine.

Stay focussed on cooperation an not selfisheness.

Be polite and you will never become a hypocrite.

FROG E · Answer

For most Christians...church is an important part of their life. You are simply invited to be part of that. You are not being a hypocrite if you attend church with them. You are just accepting an invitation.

I sometimes get invited to parties or sports events that I don't particularly care about.....but I do enjoy the company.

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religious differences?

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