Should I buy my stepson the same thing that I buy my birth son? My father says no.?

Jamal, let me commend you for stepping up to the plate and taking care of your son and another mans son. Your soon to be wife is a lucky lady. And yes, whatever you do for one, you do for the other. This is your family you are talking about. How can you be a sucker, if you are a husband providing for his family? If you listen to your dad, you will drive a wedge between you and your wife. Not to mention, you have to remember that this little boy is your sons brother, not some unknown kid off the street. They are brothers. You are being a sucker if you let your dad be the "man" of your household. Your heart is in the right place. You told your dad that they are both your sons and if you feel that way, stick up for your "other" son. Would you want your son to see that you treat his brother differently? I don't think so. Tell your dad to mind his business and you keep taking care of your family the best way you know how. Your new wife and your sons will love you for it.

No you sound like you are being fair; the kids would not know why one is getting more then the other and it would cause them to hate the other. My brother treats his son better than his daughter and that is wrong too. She is a very hateful child even though we tried to show the same love to both-they are both my brother's kids. The kids both hate each other but that is my brother's fault and it is so sad. The rest of the family bought them both clothes and toys that cost the same. Each got the same number of books, puzzles and games. 1 boy (2 years older) and 1 girl. Since you have boys-try to get different colors so the kids don't fight as much over stuff-they will know whose is whose. Once you marry this women your family will see they are both your sons and your father (both your families) need to know this too. What they buy for 1 boy they buy for the other boy. Don't buy out the store if you can; I know you love them but they need to be shown love and happiness not just stuff. Good luck and best wishes to your family.

No, what you are is a GOOD DAD. You are being fair. If I was the 5 yr. old and I got less gifts on Christmas than my brother, I would undoubtedly feel like my mom and stepdad must prefer him to me and loved me less. What you are doing is a beautiful thing. Don't listen to your dad or anyone else. You love this woman and her son and that is something to be proud of. There are men out there that don't even want to claim THEIR OWN children, let alone someone else's. Not only are you thinking ahead and trying to make Christmas wonderful for your own son, but also doing the same for your step-son. I hope this woman knows how lucky she is.

Jamal, you are doing the right thing. Don't listen to your father. If you love your fiance' and her son and the woman treats you well, then treat both of your sons the same. I commend you for taking care of your birth son and your step son who you also consider to simply be your son. So many children have a father who hasn't seen them once in their entire lives and here you are planning a wonderful Christmas for both of your boys. I wish that more young men cared as much for their kids as you do.

Your dad has all of the prioritys wrong, he has too much pride, and you are absolutely NOT being a sucker.

If you keep treating the stepson him like that, he is going to resent you later when he gets older. You married this woman, everything that's hers is yours now. You should treat your "step" son the same way no differently then yours.

Maybe your dad feels that way because you are not married to this beautiful woman yet. Once you do get married he will probably feel differently. I don't think you are being a sucker. You are just a nice person. It's up to YOU what you want to do. Go with your instinct. Best wishes for the future.

the last thing you wanna do is make a child feel left out or different especially at an early age . you're father seems insensitive to this and you SHOULDNT listen to him.

in blended families its hard because everything seems like a competition or who loves more who , or the biological parent sides with their children or there's a double standard.

don't let this all happen

youre fortunate that theyre both young and that you all seem happy as a new blended family

dont let things like this get in the way of that

There is no judgement day ion Hinduism.See the translation fo Garuda purana below: Sacred Texts Hinduism --------------------------------------... The Garuda Purana Translated by Ernest Wood and S.V. Subrahmanyam [1911] --------------------------------------... Contents Start Reading --------------------------------------... This is a translation of an abridged version of the Garuda Purana. The Garuda Purana is one of the Vishnu Puranas. It is in the form of a dialog between Vishnu and Garuda, the King of Birds. The second section of this Purana (given here) deals with issues connected with death, particularly funeral rites and the metaphysics of reincarnation. Portions of the Garuda Purana are used by some Hindus as funeral liturgy. Indeed, some consider it unlucky to read this text except during funerals. Of interest are the intermediate states between birth and rebirth, which roughly correspond to the western concepts of Hell and Heaven. Since this was written during the medieval era, it is possible that the writer of this text had contact with Christianity. Earlier Hindu texts do not elaborate about 'hell' and 'heaven,' at least not to this extent, and the subject is completely absent in the oldest texts. Here, the torments of Hell are described in terms that would not be out of place in a Baptist revival tent (or Dante, for that matter). In addition, the four-square city of Yama, the God of Death, is reminiscent of the heavenly city in Revelation. However, these are way stations between incarnations (or, as termed in the Tibetan Book of the Dead, Bardos), not a permanent destination. The Garuda Purana starts with the details of the afterlife. Following this is an account of funeral procedures, including rituals, the astrological timing of the post-death observances, and ritual gifts. Balancing the extended vision of Hell in the earlier part of the document is a shorter account of the City of Yama. After that is an enumeration of correspondences between the macrocosmos and the human body. The final part of this text is an appeal to self-knowledge as the key to liberation, going beyond austerities and study of the texts. "The fool, not knowing that the truth is seated in himself, is bewildered by the Shastras,--a foolish goatherd, with the young goat under his arm, peers into the well." --------------------------------------... Title Page Contents Introduction Chapter I. An Account of the Miseries of the Sinful in this World and the Other Chapter II. An Account of The Way of Yama Chapter III. An Account of the Torments of Yama Chapter VI. An Account of the Kinds of Sins which lead to Hell Chapter V. An Account of the Signs of Sins Chapter VI. The Miseries of Birth of the Sinful Chapter VII. Babhruvâhana's Sacrament for the Departed One Chapter VIII. An Account of the Gifts for the Dying Chapter IX. An Account of the Rites for the Dying Chapter X. The Collecting of the Bones from the Fire Chapter XI. An Account of the Ten-Days' Ceremonies Chapter XII. An Account of the Eleventh-day Rite Chapter XIII. An Account of the Ceremony for all the Ancestors Chapter XIV. An Account of the City of the King of Justice Chapter XV. An Account of the Coming to Birth of People who have done Good Chapter XVI. An Account of the Law for Liberation

Buy both your sons the same number of items but buy the gifts according to their personality's like toys etc. Shoes and clothes according to their favorite colors.

You should buy the same things,without a trace of doubt sir.

Go ahead and serve your duties well,.parents are parochial sometimes, you do not have to listen to them all the time , if you know you are correct in some matters.

Sincerely

Ashu