Forgiving cheating husband?

I can tell you that it is going to take time. It has been approximately 1 month since I found out my wife cheated on me. I have decided to stay and try to make our marriage work. I wont lie, it is going to be really hard to forgive. Something that had just started to help us is family therapy. It is awkward, but it seems to be helping. We actually went and bought a book called "After the Affair" Im not sure who wrote it but it is that exact title. It has been helping me so much more than the therapy, becasue it breaks down the feelings and aspects of what happens during the process of this incident. All i can say is that if you decide to stay and try to work it out, make sure that he knows he has to change! he has to be completely sorry and show you how sorry he is every day! If anything understand that his cheating was not your fault, it was a supid *** decision that he made. I have come to that point and learned to forgive my wife, but Im not saying you wont forget. Pick up that book and see what you think. It is working for us. Hopefully you can get through this and come out a better and stronger person. Good luck!!!

Try Joyce Meyer Ministry...she is awesome and goes in great detail about forgiving for YOU....just remember that no matter what YOU do, God forgives you for everything.....you cannot hold yourself above God...so forgive him. I understand it isn't easy but try this...when you start to think about it you say (out loud) "I have forgiven him." If you still have issues, PUSH (pray until something happens)

STOP telling yourself it is hard to forgive or you can't....thoughts become words and words become actions...change your thoughts and the rest will follow.

It may also help if you have some closure to the whole thing....even if you are still together. Sit down alone and write out a long letter...let it all come out...cuss if you wish, etc. Then burn it or flush it and tell yourself that you have let the feelings out, released them and you are free from them now.

Tomorrow is a beautiful brand new day. You get up and make the choice to have a nice day, to have a forgiving day and to make it the best day of your life.

Prayers be with you. May the Grace of God be on you.

Hugs

Wow, I am terribly sorry you are going through this and you are an incredible woman to want to forgive him. Hell, you're a bigger woman than me for sure.

In order to forgive someone especially a cheating spouse requires you to reach deep within to find real strength. It takes a lot to forgive someone, that's why forgiveness is divine. It truly requires almost supernatural abilities to move on beyond the dishonor you husband brought about you.

I strongly suggest you see a marriage counselor together and individually. Individual appointments would be good for you especially.

Professionals will supply you with necessary tools to salvage your marriage. They will teach you ways to talk to each other and communicate your anger and sadness more effectively to your husband. The best thing you can do is tell him how you feel. Tell him everything, tell him what this did to you and how it has affected your life and your marriage. You need to vent to him, and let your anger and sadness out on him. This will happen when you see the professional while he/she is assessing your communication to your husband.

You need to tell your husband what he did. He needs to hear it from you, in your own words, make it real and raw. He needs to know your thoughts about the affair and what you think of him currently.

Let it all out.

Forgiving would be good for you too because its not healthy to hold a grudge.

Stop telling "the story." How many times this week did you tell "the story" about how badly you were hurt and how horribly you were wronged? How many times a day do you think about this hurt? It is a stake driven into the ground that keeps you from moving away from this hurt. Rather, forgive your enemy because it's the kindest thing you can do for your friends and family. Negativity is depressing - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

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You can forgive someone without condoning his or her behavior; forgiveness isn't the same thing as approval.

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Avoid a defensive reaction by first venting your emotions outside the presence of the wrongdoer - this will help the interaction to be more productive.

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Wait until you are truly ready to forgive. Respect your feelings and take all the time you need.

Forgiveness by John Mac Arthur, ok here i am home alone 6 yrs with our autistic son because my husband if you can call him that insists on working overseas, despite my cries and pleading, my son needs and wants the stability of his home so here I remain in this one horse town. My husband does support us. Well after 25 yrs married he had an affair last year. Anyway you can fine peace at a solid bible preaching church, When i got saved i realized Jesus forgave my sins on the Cross so who am i not to forgive? please talk to a pastor. My blood pressure is finally lowering and i am feeling calmer through forgiveness, it also gives me power. You do not need to remain married, but if you could give it time and TRUST in the Lord Jesus, it would be best for baby if the family remained intact.

I don't think you need any special books. You've just got to realize that by forgiving him you're not telling him that what he's done to you is okay in any way, what you're saying is that you're not going to allow the things he's done to you have control over your feelings and emotions any longer. Forgiving him is going to help YOU not HIM, and once you realize that then why wouldn't you want to forgive him? It'll release all the negative feelings you have and allow you to move onto someone who will actually treat you right.

I don't know if it's a matter of wanting to forgive him but are you reserved because your afraid it will happen again? It's easy to say "I forgive you" but I know there is much more that has to be explored between the person your forgiving and yourself. If they are truly sorry for what they did then forgiveness is much easier to express. However if there is any reservation about what they did and why they did it then how easy is it to forgive? Why do you NEED to forgive him? Is he worthy of forgiveness? Will you find peace with him in your life or peace with him in your home too? I think you need to talk to him about why you should forgive him. Best of luck to you.

You answered your own question. You need to Forgive and LOVE him. Books, counselors, will help... but in the end you still need to decide if you can forgive and love him.

I would personally leave. In my opinion the bond of love has broken. The vows are serious.

You must decide if you are able to forgive your husband if you do you must set conditions, and the cheater has to earn your forgiveness. Otherwise, you're just setting the stage for the cheating to happen again.

all the books i have are about healing through divorce....but Rose Sweet has some nice books!

A Woman's Guide to Healing the Heartbreak of Divorce (Paperback)

by Rose Sweet

Rose Sweet (Author)