How to adopt , how to abort? I'm scared!!?

I cannot give you info on adoption, sorry. I have seen the devastation that comes with adoption - some turn out fine and others turn out terribly for the mother and baby. Form what I have seen (in my experience) post adoption depression is more likely that post abortion depression. Abortion depression can be worked through because the event is over, post adoption depression can linger because your child is out there and you don't know how they are or how they are being treated.

Info on abortion if you decide to go that route.

If you go to a Planned Parenthood clinic that has a low-income program it can be as cheap as 100$. If you tells them you have no job, no money and no support they will likely have you pay the minimum for the procedure and get donations to cover the rest. 1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526) to find the Planned Parenthood clinic nearest you. If you are underage it will mostly likely be free.

You have the choice between the pill (which can be taken up to 11weeks, at home or at a friends house) or the vacuum method (in clinic procedure). Personally I used the pill method so I could be at home with my husband but some women want to have the surgical, so it's done and over with when they leave the clinic.

You will be financially screened - usually this goes on the honor system, weight/height taken, blood pressure checked, pricked -fingertip- to check for rH factor and anemia, you will receive an ultrasound or sonogram to determine gestational age. You may be asked if you want to view the image, this is up to you. You will receive antibiotics, anti-nausea tabs and pain meds. Take them ALL. You must finish at the very least your course of antibiotics. Follow all aftercare instructions and go back to your after care appt. This last step is vital, you must go back for your aftercare appt! Abortion begins a new menstrual cycle. You should have a regular period in 4 to 8 weeks.you should have the option of receiving birth control - again this will most likely be free, take it and use it correctly.

If you are underage you may want to check this site out to see about parental consent laws and whatnot. http://www.sexetc.org/state *Even if it says you need parental consent, you don't. Call PP and tell them you cannot tell your parents; by law, a judicial bypass must be available to those minors who just cannot get their parents/guardians permission. A judge signs the parental consent acting as a de facto guardian.

Some state medicaid program do pay for it, use this link and figure out if your state covers it. If they do, you can go to "welfare" office and get emergency coverage and the state and taxes will help pay for it. http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.a...

I respect that it is your choice and understand that you are probably doing what's best for you. If you have any more questions or want/need to talk about it drop me an email.

It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do.

ImNotSorry.net

~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion <no regrets> and I have a 9 month old daughter <no regrets>. I believe in protecting my daughter's choice.

Abortion: There is a Consensus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo

EDIT - Thank you 7rin, love the 'avatar'!

Pregnancy can seem to be a very scary thing at first , everybody makes it seem impossible , but really it's an amazing part of life , I believe no matter what age you are you should never get an abortion, if you don't decide to keep it , just at least consider adoption, abortion is so horrible, give the baby a chance to have a life weither it's with you or another family , I'm 17 years old and 8 months pregnant , so if I can do it im sure you can too, at first I was scared & didn't know what to do, but once you start feeling the kicking and movements & the feeling you get from knowing you made such an amazing thing it will be hard for you to give it up, but I really consider giving it up for adoption if you don't keep it , it's your choice but just really think about it ! It's really not so bad to have a little you running around :) think positive !

If you are matched with a couple looking to adopt yes most likely they will foot your medical expensive. I do not agree with that but it does happen. I realize a lot of people are judging you telling you what you should or should not do. It has to be about what you feel is best.

Could you carry a child to term and then give that baby away? You seem so devastated that you can have your son with you. Some mothers do regret placing their child for adoption. Some mothers dont regret it and are at peace with their decision. Some mothers regret having an abortion while others don’t and are more at peace with that decision to have an abortion. Though they have no say in it having a child aborted can also deeply affect the father there are even becoming more support groups for Men who have had aborted children.

Does your boyfriend know you are pregnant? If you decide to get an abortion he has no say in that however he does have say in placing the baby for adoption. I think you should get some counseling from a place like Planned Parenthood it is free. They may also be able to help you find ways to parent if you want too.

You should go and talk to social services, welfare dept. or whatever they call it where you live.. There are programs available for medical assistance, food and housing. They also have programs available to help after the baby is born such as day care, food (wic) They can also help assist you if you decide to give the baby up for adoption. This is a big decision that you have to make and no one can or should try to make it for you. Neither abortion nor adoption will be an easy decision. From what you said I think you would have a very difficult time if you do choose abortion.

What does the father want he should be included in the decision.

Yes sometimes the future adoptive parents will pay for the medical bills associated with the birth, sometimes even the prenatal care of the mother.. Start by researching you options, social services ( for help with medical and such) adoption agencies where they can tell you what all is involved and if they have any one on their list that would be willing to help you with expenses. Try to relax you can't think straight being all upset. I know easier said then done. But you do have options and you still have time to weigh them all so that you can make the choice that is best for you and the baby.

Adoption agencies usually ask you if you want the adoptive parents to pay for medical bills and all. I know I am actually looking into adoption right now, because its hard for me to seeing as I'm lesbian and in a lesbian relationship, so a lot of people dont want me to adopt their child, so that kinda sucks in a way. I would go and talk to an adoption agency, or even look some stuff online for more information.

There are always options. There are always choices. If the idea of having an abortion makes you sick to your stomach then DON'T DO IT! There are people who decide they should have an abortion and have no regrets. There are people who don't want to have an abortion but don't see any alternative and then carry that with them for the rest of their lives. Don't ever feel like you*have* to do that.

There are supports out there for medical bills and assistance. There are resources out there to help you parent your child. Don't let a temporary situation force you into making a permanent decision.

hey,

First i want to say that everything is going to be okay.

Second, i want to tell you my story. my mom could not concieve a child. she and my dad tried so hard for so long. it was making my mom really sad. she had gone to the hospital to have some tests done when the doctor told her she could never have kids. both my mom and my dad were crushed. then, a friend of my mom had suggested adoption. One day my mom got a call from a scared pregnant teenager looking to give her baby up to adoption. after calling other sets of willing couples she chose my mom and dad. i was born and my parent flew out to arizona to come and get me. They took me back to new york. two years later, my parents adopted my sister from ohio. we may not be related by blood but i could not imagine living without them...

The point of my story is without my or my sister's birthmother saying yes to life we would not be alive today. I think about her often and how lucky i am. my mom could never have kids but you can. if you give your baby up for adoption, i know that you will make a set of parents the most happiest people in the world and youll know you did the right thing.

dont give up easily, times may be tough but i have a feeling that you will get through....

love lily

Arkansas has a special medicaid program for pregnant women. A nurse at the hospital told me most women in the state (at childbearing ages) would qualify based on their own income.

Arkansas strictly prohibits any payments to the mother for anything in the adoption process. They are able to help with direct payment of pregnancy related items, and there are a lot of resources for pregnant women throughout the state, depending on what town you are in.

For instance, adoptive parents (AP's) can allow the woman to live in a home of theirs, rent free, however, they can't give her money to pay her own rent.

If you're around any of the larger towns, or college towns, there should be a family planning, or pregnancy resource center in the area.

Arkansas has a putative father registry, where you can legally place the baby for adoption after 10 days, if the father either won't or cannot (for legal reasons, such as being out of the country, or in the country illegally) sign on the registry at the county courthouse, then he loses his rights to the child, although not his obligations like child support. If you do place the baby for adoption, in the state of Arkansas, you have 10 days after the birth of the baby, or after signing adoption papers to change your mind, and go to the courthouse, put in writing that you change your mind, and then they'll contact the sheriff's office to get the baby.

I wish you luck! Arkansas is especially hard for a single mom to raise a child in.

First BREATH! you are not the only one in this situaion, therefore there are supports available. It is just a matter of hooking up with them.

YES it is possible for adoptive parents to cover the bills you are suggesting. I am not taking a stand on Abortion over Adoption or the other way around.

IF this is the path you choose, call a local adoption agency and they will start helping you IMMEDIATELY. Good luck

Ok...first of all..hang on. You don't have to decide TODAY. I realize that for an abortion you have a timeline...but hang tight for a few days here. The state you are in isn't going to lead to any productive or helpful decision for you.

I too will abstain from taking a position of abortion vs. adoption. Your choice and the consequences for the future will be yours alone.

DO NOT GO TO CRAIGSLIST or any other internet site where people are waiting to take advantage of you and do whatever it takes it takes to get your child.

Go to reputable resources such as crisis centres, non-profit agencies or even nearby churches. I don't know what the equivalent in the US would to something like the John Howard Society would be...but non-profit organizations like that could hook you up with supportive advocates who would look after YOU.

In your state of mind right now...I don't think you should even visit online sources of information because you are vulnerable right now.

Without judgement: Please be more responsible with birth control. This is the second child that will suffer as a result of you having sex irresponsibly.

@December: You have my apologies. I was not aiming to judge you. I made an assumption about the nature of the situation with your first child and that was wrong.