Conflict of Interest / Immoral Conduct?

So the woman who raised you appears to have used some rather coercive tactics to "get" you from your incubator yet you have raised her up and slam down your natural mother?

Interesting.

Even more interesting that you are asking if your adoptive mother conducted herself in an immoral way in order to obtain you. Again, you still raise this woman up and call the woman she obtained you from an incubator. Very interesting indeed.

Why are you concerned with any conflict of interest or immoral conduct toward a woman you care so little about that you deem her as worth of humanity as a hunk of machinery?

Something is off here.

To answer the question, yes, that is absolutely a conflict of interest AND immoral conduct IMO.

Couldn't Read This Because Having A Capital Letter At The Start Of Every Word Is Too Off Putting To Wade Through.

Heck, it's even worse than typing ALL IN CAP'S!

I think part of your question is very offensive by referring to mothers as 'incubators'. Eww..

Not sure if you would relate it, but doctors and other medical personnel did illegal adoptions with some regularity in some areas. They would just fill in the birth certificate information with that of a childless relative. The mom would either be told not to see the baby because ''its harder if you are putting him/her up for adoption" or told that the baby was deceased. Did you know, for instance, that even for married women with wanted babies, care workers often did not let the mother see their stillborn child until the last 10 years? Anyway, the new parent would show up to claim the baby with false documentation as a social worker. I have no doubt this still happens, but likely much more rarely today with all the documentation and such.

Wow! As another lowly "incubator," I would have to say there was definitely a conflict of interest. I would also have to say it doesn't surprise me and don't be so sure it doesn't still happen in today's world, in some form or other.

I'm glad you had a great childhood and I hope that, if there is any kind of rare, obsolete chance that your incubator actually transformers into a caring, loving, human being, she will someday be able to know, even though she was cheated in the most horrible of ways, her child was given a great life by the one who so wrongly took so much away from her.

Of course, that is only if she is able to evolve from the lowly parasite you have delegated her to.

ETA: Did your first mom tell you, in person, to stay away and that she just "got rid of you?" If so, I am sorry. Nobody should ever be treated that way by their parents. If not, then I ask you give her the chance to tell you personally, with her own words, how she feels and what happened.

And, please always remember, there are so many, many first moms out there that turn away from their children when found - which I don't agree with - but do understand how much the shame they have lived with all these years have made them feel less than who they truly are and unable to see that they do deserve to have an open and loving relationship with the children they lost.

Not an excuse if your first mom said such horrible things but hopefully an understanding that the response has NOTHING to do with you or who you are!

No, you have no evidence she coerced the woman. She might just have been being kind. You have no reason to think she did those things to get you. For one thing it might all have been agreed before she drove and babysat which makes it irrelevant. Being her social worker she certainly had the power to coerce and cross lines for personal gain but you have given no evidence that she did so.

If she was already the agreed adoptive mother before you were born then it would be a perfectly natural thing to drive the mother to the hospital, and babsit, thats what you do for family, and if the adoption was already agreed, then they were already family.

I disagree with the term Incubator too. The equivalent of a sperm donor would be an egg donor. Carrying a child for 9 months inside you then going through the huge trauma of labour - is a totally different experience. A very intimate experience!! Nothing like a sperm donor who has no contact with the child. The BURFMUGGLE has very intimate contact.

I wasn't going to answer although my answer to your question is yes. The reason I'm answering is because my jaw dropped at the incubator reference. I'm an incubator in that case and my son's father is a sperm donor ...not!!!!

No matter what I think of my son's father or any other father who has no interest in their child I would never refer to such men as sperm donors, selfish yes but sperm donors no.

You have a right to think of your natural mother in whatever way you want but to refer to her as an incubator will get backs up.

My son thought I didn't want him or want to know him .... long story .... but if he ever openly referred to me as an incubator I would have been extremely hurt. You may as well go one step further and call natural mothers walking wombs.

One more incubator chiming in here...I think that your amom must be very proud of the job she did on you! She continued in the unethical and immoral manner she used to obtain you and insured that you would be so grateful that you would call the woman who gave you life an incubator, thereby insuring a lifetime of loyalty from her illicitly obtained former infant. Interesting, that!

BTW, I have never referred to the father of my child as a sperm donor, nor have any of the mothers with whom I associate. Some of the women had broken hearts when their lovers deserted them, some were forbidden by parents, but they were almost all in a relationship of one sort or another, so I guess that sort of shoots that logic, huh?

Why do you care about "Conflict of Interest / Immoral Conduct", if the human female that *incubated* you was as you say a mere...'incubator'? As a mere 'incubator', then was she not deserving of the possible underhanded treatment your adoptive mother used to get you? But then you merely 'incubated' in your *incubator*, which was nothing compared to the awesome feat of you *growing under your adoptive mother's heart*.

I would tell you to stay away as well...if you even subtly implied I was an "incubator"!

Yes, that was beyond unethical, and I don't know what your mom meant to accomplish by telling you all that. I do suspect such things still go on, though.

I hope she didn't raise you to call your first mother an "incubator"? I was in an incubator for a couple of months after I was born. It was a plastic box with air holes and stuff, not womb.

ETA I also think it's disrespectful to call your child's father a sperm donor. Do two wrongs make a right?

You are right that some lines were obviously crossed to achieve personal gain.

Signed,

Just another incubator