All of a sudden, my teenage son thinks I'm not *cool*; what is his problem?

I hear you. I feel for you. My daughter is 13 now so I know where you are coming from. Just today when she had 3 of her friends over and I went up to the tree house and hollered "male on the floor" neither she or any of her friends found that funny. None of them were impressed when I slid down the fire pole to get down from the tree house either.

She doesn't like it any more when I go to the lunch room and give her a big hug during her lunch. She used to think I was cool but alas no more.

Yes I seem to have had a mini discussion with my 16 year old daughter yesterday regarding the same situation. They hit 15 and they change drastically. The first thing that goes is the cool parent. I should know I WAS one up until last year. It's high school dad!! They, like us when we were that age, KNOW EVERYTHING...so in turn they really don't need us anymore...Oh but wait they want the ATM ( that's what I call myself...ATM!) Yup the days of being cool are totally over! I love the look I get when I say things like...awesome. Don't you? Like we are no longer allowed to speak such words... Your son is just figuring things out on his own and he "doesn't need you right now". Just be there for him like you have and make him realize what you've done for him and that you care about him and if he ever needs anything be it you that he will always be able to ask. Sometimes I'm cool if I remind my kid of something funny...so save that Playboy story for the perfect moment! Dad you are still cool!

No well actually you sound like a really cool dad, i am the same age as your son and i would love to have a dad like you.. he just doesn't know how lucky he is yet..you just have to make him realise how cool you are.. and you can do that by acting like a normal parent instead of a friend for a few days, telling him to clean his room, to do his homework, and go to bed early to wake up on time to go school. He will soon realise how wrong he was, and he would want you back the way you were before, and if he does get embarrassed by the fact that your his dad, he will defend you after realising how cool you are, and he'll make others feel the way he is feeling, because not everyone is blessed with a father like you right? :)

Almost all teenagers (especially teenage boys) feel embarrassed about their parents at some point. If you're intentionally trying to look cool and act cool to impress him and his friends, then that behavior may be having the opposite effect - now he's embarrassed because you're trying too hard and you seem desperate. As hard as this may be for you to accept, this phase he's in now may last for a couple of years. It's just a part of him exploring his identity and making the difficult transition from being a child (who is totally dependent on his parents) to being an adult (who is independent). Eventually (maybe after he moves out and goes to college), he'll come around and you'll be the father that he looks up to again.

Parents are never "cool" around the high school age, no matter what you do. He probably wants to start feeling and looking more independent. I know anytime my mom or dad comes to my school, for any reason, i just keep quite and hurry away. He needs to impress his friends.

I would say just make sure he stays, for lack of a better word, a good kid (Not drinking, drugs, keeping decent grades in school, not hanging out with the wrong type of people), and he'll get over it, and you can go back to being cool beans.

Ah teenagers! A wonderful and complex species.

Your son is going through his own identity crisis. He is trying to differentiate himself from his family and from the world. I think the more you try to defend yourself the more he will retaliate and disagree. Not because he doesn't love you but because he needs to separate himself from all attachments only to regain them again. I'm sure that when you were his age you felt the same way. For the time being I would just let him be. You should still be there for him but when you feel you need to intervene or when he comes to you for advice.

You are still a cool dad and he will come around to appreciate that. You just need to give him some time to grow and develop his own coolness.

Good Luck!

Jack, I was laughing my azz off earlier when I starred this. Later in the night (a few hours ago) wouldn't you know my son up and flipped everything around on me? I have always (naturally) been my kids' protector (we used to jokingly call it "tecter" when they were younger) but tonight, he ruined it. Someone in my neighborhood was setting off some *really* LOUD fireworks, and after about 3 or 4 times, I got sick of it. I went on my porch and yelled something like "Okay, that's enough already" and somebody yelled something back. Jack, I have never seen that boy fly down the steps so quickly. He *put* me in the house, yelled [I don't remember exactly what] to whoever answered me and he was standing out there like a f**king gladiator, just waiting for anyone to challenge him. I am so swelled with pride and / or ego that he was so ready to defend me like that and that he's turning into a man, but I'm also heartbroken. I don't want him to not be my baby anymore. I feel sooooo effing mixed up, Jack :(

Sorry for rambling....

I guess it's just because he's going through a phase. I'm 14, and i get embarrassed by my parents sometimes. He probably thinks that he's too grown up for his parents. He'll see the difference when he's on his own though.

And i agree with almost everyone here, parents are always cool. They're always best friends with their kids, and will help them with anything. Just talk to him again and simply ask him why you're not considered"cool" in his book. Like you said, he said you were his hero in his 5th grade report, so tell him what ever happened to that. Shame on him for saying that you're not cool. If you died, he'll be different, and regret what he said. So just have a man to man talk with him

Your son is just going through a phase, honestly I'm 19 years old and I wish I had a dad like that. Yeah, one that picks me up from school (well college) with rock music blasting out the stereo. Try taking him out on a father-son day. Go to Cabala's or Hooters or hunting or paintball or lazer tag and spend some guy time with him. He'll realize sooner or later that he misses having you around and he'll be sorry he ever dissed you. Just give it time.

Your son obviously doesn't respect you. That is the problem with being the "cool" dad. Your son thought of you as a buddy and not a figure of authority. And now that he is outgrowing you and getting friends his own age, he is dumping you as he would any other friend. The problem is, you can't just suddenly change into an authority figure now since your son will notice the change and just hate you. I would recommend just staying away from him. You see, you are not the problem. He is.