How do I gt my daughter to want to spend time with me?

Question

My wife and I divorced 6 years ago.  At the time I was on active duty in the US Navy and deployed during the divorce and custody proceedings.  Because I was not there to defend myself, the judge granted my ex with supervised visitation in the children's city only.  Fast forward over the next few years, fighting with the ex to have mods done to the visitation schedule, deployments, etc. and actually getting one summer with my children while still on active duty.  That summer was 4 years ago.  The next summer I gave up my visitation because I was scheduled to leave active duty about the time the girls would have gotten to my location and I was worried that I would not have a place to live.  I didn't want to put them in harms way.  The next summer I was set up and settled with appropriate living conditions for them to stay with me.  That brings us to this summer.  I again have a safe secure place for them and have my visitation with them.  Now to the meat, my youngest daughter has fought tooth and nail coming for visitation during the summer every single time that I have had the opportunity.  While she is here, she spends most of her time moping and miserable and doing her best to make everyone around her miserable.  I am in therapy with her to work out any issues she has with me(I know I wasn't around a lot during her first 9 years, but I did my best), but things have gotten so bad that I am considering not having her out for visitation again.  I just want to be a part of my daughter's life.  What can I do?

? · Accepted Answer

My dad was a Marine while I was growing up.  I spent one month one summer with him.  He lived overseas the majority of the time.  I only ever received one letter from him.  Of course, I received the Christmas card/gifts and birthday card with "love dad".  When I was around 15 or so, he was state side and wanted me to come visit him for the summer.  Of course, I said no way.  I didn't know him.  I didn't want to leave my friends.  Shorten the story....we reconnected when I moved closer to his state and I had a few good years getting to know him.  He passed away at the age of 52.  I wished I would have spent the summer with him.  I miss him so much.  Keep calling your girls, write them letters, send them cards or little trinkets.  Maybe have them come for a shorter period of time in the beginning.  Keep trying.  They will know at least their dad cared and loved them.  Good luck to you.  Sounds like your a good dad! :)

crystal · Answer

Don't give up on her she is a kid and she will come around.She needs to know your going to be there for her and she will form a relationship with you in time,she is still young.The counsel was a good idea and right now you might not think there is a chance but there is.All little girls need and want their daddy's its nice if you know they never gave up on you and plan to keep bugging her until the day she dies let her know that.Hang in there and good for you for trying i.She will come around

? · Answer

Hi!!
girls are complicated and sometimes they just want call the atention but in this case maybe is other thing. and maybe you sat with her and talked but really you have to try again and again until she can see the good side and can be happy in all.
I don't know how's her mother but you at first had to talk seriously with her.
sorry my english is messy!

don't worry everything that you see wrong have a purpouse.

she'll change.

teamradkex3 · Answer

aww im soo sorry.
that sounds tough.
maybe she'll have more fun if you let her bring
a friend with her.
and just make sure theres lots of activities.
like take them to the movies to lunch or dinner.
let them go to the mall or the park.
theres lots of things but i guarentee
the reason why she so miserable is because he doesnt have her friends
to hang ou with like back at home.
you should try it seriously!!!
i think it could work for you.

Mama to Emily · Answer

Wow ! All I can suggest is continue the therapy . Maybe mother has brain washed her

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How do I gt my daughter to want to spend time with me?

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