Your 2 year old boy and hitting / discipline?

The problem with what you did is that you hit him after the fact.When he is misbehaving,you need to address it right away.By the time you got outside and slapped him(which is not ok)He had already forgot what he was being punished for.

He sounds as though he needs a lot of redirection and follow through from both you and Dad.

Consistency is very important.For example,If you do not allow him to jump on the sofa,make it clear.Don't punish him one day and then let it go the next.

Time out really does work,if it is done the right way.And only in short spans.He can not sit in time out at his age for more than a min or 2.Once he does something inappropriate,ask him to stop or he will go to time out.If he does it again,follow through and take him to time out.Like a chair in the corner or wherever so you can see him.You may even have to keep picking him up and putting him in the chair or hold him there.Once he is done with the melt down,keep it short and sweet,like you are in time out because you were jumping on the sofa and that is not allowed.Something along that line.

In some circumstances,you may need to spank.Some agree it works,some don't.

I do spank(on rare occasions)like if I really need to get her attention.Like when my daughter thought it was ok to run in the street.

It is never ok to hit out of anger or with any objects.A tap on the butt with a diaper on is ok.

I was spanked as a child(disciplined)there is a difference between discipling and abuse.I am glad that my parents cared about how I would turn out.I think that this is what is wrong with kids today,not enough discipline.We want to be their friend instead of their parent!I have a great relationship with my parents.

He may also be getting too much stimulation through the day.Try activities that are quiet,like puzzles,coloring,reading,playing with figurines.Toys that make lots of noise or a loud t.v can actually make him worse.

Also focus on what he is eating.Try and limit processed foods,artificial flavors,dyes and added sugars.Make sure he is eating well balanced and drinking water.

There may just be times where you may have to skip that restaurant.If you do manage to go,bring along a snack for him or ask for his meal first.Kids just can not wait that long.Bring along a fun mat he can ride his cars along or color,bring playdough and play with him,read.Things he likes and things that will help distract him until his food is there.If he gets out of the seat,redirect him to it.Explaining that he has to stay in his seat while he eats.This may go on several times.Put him in time out in the restaruant.Who cares who is around!You have to show him that there are conseqences for his actions.Be sure that you also award him and praise him for good behavior.Like if he eats in his seat say"you are a big boy eating in your chair,I am pround of you"

Don't worry,at one point we have all been there.It is best to nip it now than later.Good luck:)

It also seems as though he is craving attention,even if he gets a bad reaction out of you,its a reaction and attention he is seeking.Spend more time with him one on one when you can.Take hi to the park where he can run wild and you do not always have to tell him no.Cuddle with him and sing to him.Do fun things he likes.I know it can be hard when you have other obligations,but this is your child and he is crying out for your attention.Give it to him.Make the time.

And no I do not think you need a nanny.You are his mother.You need to work this out.You will only have an overworked,stress nanny.And he will learn what he can and can't do with her and you.You need to address this behavior now.Once this is better and you need outside help,try a family member who you trust instead of a stranger that your child may not warm up to.It could make things worse.He may feel as though you are pawning him off.

My 2 year old boy is full of energy...always has been.

Good. That's healthy

He's incredibly friendly and runs around like a maniac. He also gets emotional sometimes. Sometimes he embarrasses us a lot in public places, like crowded restaurants. We have only been to one in the past six months or so, and it was a big mistake. He was throwing food, eating off the floor, getting up and running around. I like some control and discipline over a situation. When we got out I slapped him on the face lightly, but enough to cause some shock and I made him say he was sorry. He had been truly horrible and we usually don't use any kind of physical discipline other than Daddy restraining him during "time outs".

Kids don't understand punishment the way adults do

Would you slap your child if he was acting horrible?

NEVER. I don't plan to punish either. I think that's a mistake in parenting. Discipline is better then punishment

Another complication is that this was last week....I got a report today that he slapped three teachers at his daycare center yesterday.

You slapped HIM and not HE slapped 3 teacher. Hmmm

He has good and loving teachers. One said she removed him from an altercation with another student and put him in a chair and he pushed her and kept repeating "no."

I feel bad for my child and want to know what happened. He's 2 years and 4 months old. He's had a lot of problems with discipline at daycare and is being observed by a behavior specialist there. I don't want to talk about slapping him but do you think slapping is either : 1. necessary or 2. a big mistake? If it is a mistake, what on earth is the alternative?!

The alternitive is to parent him. You have to understand children don't chose to misbehave. Give him some outlits to his agression. Let him run around or play on the trampoline. I have 2 friends who are group leaders. One is very traditional. The other... well the first thing he'll do is let his group know what they're doing right indivulally. GUESS which one has a higher sucess rate.

Discipline is necessary, but you don't have to be physical to do this. Actually, you don't have to be really verbal about it either. Time out is a great method and it sounds like you have tried it but it's not effective. You shouldn't hold your child down in timeout, you should make him sit in the timeout spot for 2 minutes. Because your 2 year old is used to running the show, the first couple of timeouts are going to take a very long time and he is going to fight it. But once he knows you are serious about it, he will start to sit there for the full 2 minutes. Until he does sit there for the entire two minutes, you are going to want to keep putting him back in the timeout spot (maybe the corner or the step on the staircase or in a specific chair, etc). He will first see it as a game, then he will see it as you mean business (so put your game face on, you have to take this serious and expect it to get worse before it gets better). Only the first time do you explain to him why he is going there. After that, no talking until the timeout is completed. After his timeout is over, tell him why he went there and what you expect of him, and explain he should apologize and give him a kiss and hug.

Personally, I always give a warning before a timeout. Most of the time my 2 year old (how is very persistant and stubborn, may I add) will say she doesn't want a timeout and fix her attitude. She knows I mean business when I say she is going there, and she hates it. I have never had to put a hand on my daughter who is almost 3, and timeout really helps both of us take a moment to gather our thoughts.

Something else to try is to redirect him. If he is starting to act up, redirect him towards something positive. For example, if you are out to eat and he wants to pick up food off the floor, grab his attention by saying "do you want cake for dessert?". If he says yes, then tell him what he has to do to get it (stay in his seat and eat his food like a big boy). Reward him when he does it.

Take care of it now, I've been told by every parent I know that the 3's are worse then the 2's. And since he is an only child, I would get a pet if you already don't have one. Sure, it's not the same as a human but it will give him interaction and start teaching him responsibility. My daughter is an only child and all she talks about on the way home from daycare is "her buddy"...she loves her dog and can't wait to get home to feed him, walk him, hug him, play with him, etc.

Why on Earth did you slap a 2 year old on the face??!! There is never a call for that, no matter what he did! I dont like the whole hitting kids thing, there are better ways to achieve good discipline most of the time.......although I think a light smack on the bottom to let a child know that theyve gone too far wont harm them, I certainly think that 2 is too young.

Youve said in your post that your child is spoiled and over indulged, his behaviour is in response to the lack of boundaries you give him. Set boundaries and then stick to them. If he misbehaves in a certain environment, remove him from the environment.......even when it inconveniences you.

If your son has behavioural problems, and I suspect that he does, hitting him will send ENTIRELY the wrong message, something that should be apparent by the fact that he is hitting adults. If he has behavioural problems, they need to be treated, not punished.

Embarrassing you at such a young age is comprehensible, but slapping other people? That's obviously overboard. Perhaps, he does not know that slapping is wrong? Here, you can teach your what is right and wrong. WE know that you love your child, like every other parent does. However, when things get out of hand, and I mean [seriously] out of hand, appropriate punishment is needed where it is due. You may not want to punish him in the first place, because you adore him, and you cannot bear to see him in pain. It is true, we ourselves do not get happiness or a sense of accomplishment by punishing others (other than the sadists). However, if you are doing this for HIS own good, then it is for a good cause. It is for his own good. Without discipline, you might not like the results when he gets older and more understanding of the world around him. Things might get even worse if you do not discipline your child. Also, keep in touch with the teachers on information about your child. Knowing your child actions is an integral part in understanding him. I put you in your shoes. If I were you, I'll discipline him with drastic measure if I have to. He may hate me as much as he wants, but at the end of the day, he'll realize sooner or later why I are doing that to him.

Of course, punishment is only needed when things get out of hand. If he keeps doing wrong things, and he keeps getting punished, he might or will not like it, like any other child. Perhaps, you can implement something like a reward system? Let's say that if he does something good, maybe he gets a sweet? Or he can choose to accumulate those reward points, and at a certain amount of points you'll buy him a toy he wants? After all, he 'worked' for it. By doing this 'bribery' method, you're encouraging your child to do good things. If you want to have a penalty system, by all means, go ahead. If he does something wrong, and he knows that it is wrong, you can then reduce the amount of points. You can also take this chance to tell him why you are penalizing him, and how he can amend his mistakes. If he likes being spanked (not literally), maybe because it's funny or ticklish, it can be used as a "Because you're so mischievous I'm going to spank you" mechanism. You can have fun with your child this way. You can try tickling him if you want, since it's considered a "more friendly approach". I leave this all to you to decide.

Also, I find that "Time outs" are not a really good way to handle things. It makes the child think that "I have no freedom, I hate this, I hate that, I hate him, I hate her, It took away my freedom". It also makes the child bored. Imagine you were the child, would you like to go to the time out corner by a higher ranking person, doing nothing while your freedom was taken away? I think not, I think nobody does. I forgot to mention, that when talking to a child, never ever use rude words like "shut up". It may influence the child to use rude words when he grows older. Use 'gentler' words like "keep quiet" or "shh". If you really feel like telling him to "shut up" no matter what, don't shout, but say in a serious tone.

As of the time I am writing this, I can only think of one alternative, and I apologize for that. I'm not even sure if this is even a 'correct' alternative, but here is it anyway. I was thinking that if he hates reading books, you can tell him to read some books as 'punishment', so that he can read in quietness. I recommend stories that have a 'moral of the story' meaning, so not only can he be quiet, he can learn a new moral value. Better still, read with him. The bond between a parent and child is ABSOLUTELY important. By doing that, you can bond with him, and he might even have a liking to reading after the 'program'.

As for the day-care issue, perhaps, you have any close relative who can take care of her temporarily? If your both parties agree, it might work. If you're planning to do this, make sure you have visits regularly, or keep in touch often, via phone or internet. When your child is behaving much better, and you think you can cope now. You can start taking care of her again.

Hope that things work out with your family sooner. May God bless you and your family.

It's going to take time so be patient

Get a chair

put a sad face on the wall above it or on the back of the chair

let him know this is the naughty chair, when he is naughty he WILL sit in it.

When he starts acting out let him know ONLY ONCE that he's going to sit in the naughty chair

when he acts out again put him in the chair and tell him why you put him in the chair

set a timer for 2 minutes

every time he gets out return him to the chair with out saying anything.

be patient it's gonna take a while for him to get the point

reset the timer every time you have to but him back in the chair

after you achieve him sitting for 2 minutes tell him what he did wrong and ask him to appologize

BE CONSISTENT

now... I am not going to tell you I never spank because I do sometimes. But never on the mouth. That's a hard pill to swallow for a child. I generally do it in public.

I ask him to stop Then I start counting

1 I asked you to sit down

2 I am going to bust your butt if you don't sit down

3 this is your last chance to sit down before i bust your butt

no 4 I pop him once good on the toosh

then he listens... it sucks but I don't beat the crap out of him. My son was like yours, all over the place all the time. We didn't go out to eat for a while because of it. But decided that he WILL behave or get his butt busted, and I have and will do it in public, I don't care what people think.

we have gotten to the point where he listens now and I rearely get to 2.

You need to be constistent, it's not easy but no one ever said raising little boys was easy. Just keep your temper in check and remember butts were made poppin and mouths were made for talkin

good luck

Try the time out technique.

1. When he misbehaves, get down to his level and in a firm authoritative voice (without yelling) give him a warning. "You do not (insert behavior). If you (insert behavior) again and you will go in time out."

2. If she does it again, place her on the naughty chair. Get down to her level and explain why he's on the naughty chair. "(Insert name), you are placed on the naughty chair because you (insert behavior) when I asked you to stop. You will stay here for X minutes." 1 minute per year age. 4 year olds gets 4 minutes. 2 year olds get 2 minutes.

3.If he gets up then walk him back without giving him eye contact and reset the timer until he stays there for X minutes. Reset the timer and he will have to do X minutes over again.

4. If she happens to lock herself in a room while getting up from time out, wait until she comes out and once she comes out, immediately place her back in time out.

5. Once X minutes passed, come back, get down to his level and explain why he was placed on the naughty chair, you were placed on the naughty chair because you did not listen to mommy when I asked you to stop (insert behavior). What do you say?" If he does not apologize, he will not get up and he will do the naughty chair again and you repeat the process. Hug your child and never mention this behavior again.

Here are videos on how to do the time out correctly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2NWl-nWQwE&feature...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvnhniamk_E&feature...

Your child is just testing what's socially acceptable. So if you let him keep slapping people without giving him any discipline, he will grow up and probably kill people.

i spank my 2 yr old son but on he butt. if he's being really bad i do pull off his pants and training pants before the spanking. he does like to test but most of the time he listens

do not spank him this will only teach him that such violent behaviour is acceptable put him into time outs and when you tell him off and issue a warning or a time out stick you your word