I hurt so much; another failed relationship?

Sounds a bit whinny, sad to say. Relationships are based on connection. You could be the best person in the world but if you spend your time with someone who doesn't feel that connection the best resume in the world won't matter.

I'm in a different place than you are. I don't want a long term relationship and actually end them when presented with the 'choice'. The first few years after my divorce I became, I don't want to say run-away-bride but more of a run-away-fiance. I was engaged five times, each time the relationship ended soon after.

Because of it I have left dating behind the last few years and surprisingly enough I am quite comfortable with my life. In reality, I may not be the best person to answer your question.

I have not tried this site, so it is not first hand information but I heard about it and recommended it to friends who have had great success. It's called plenty of fish (.com)

As long as you watch out for the pitfalls of internet dating (they are indeed the same for men and women) you should find your hope again. Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting serial dating but you should at least try different opportunities, rather than focus on (waste time on?) only one at a time and settle.

Just keep in mind:

There are many who troll these sites for free rides Females AS WELL AS MALES. One guy took a woman out for dinner and really wasn't paying attention to what she was ordering because it was a first meeting and as he said most people are reserved on their first meeting. I could not believe when I SAW the receipt.

This woman ordered everything and anything. Two appetizers, she got there early for the date and started a tab with six drinks (he later found out she had her friends there and bought a round on him!)

She ordered her meal then asked the waiter for a separate 'take home' plate, with desert. Her portion of the meal...just hers was over 350.00 His was just over 62.00

Since it was a first meeting and not an actual date I told him he should have paid for his and handed her the rest of the bill, but he said 'I couldn't do that, it wouldn't be right'. Then another guy went to a furniture store with a woman to help her pick up her dining room suite, but she had forgotten her wallet. He paid with the promise she would pay him back at the house. One thing led to another and well....he forgot about the payment and she never returns his calls now and blocks the emails.

Then there are the women who fall for the guys who never have any money and pay for the dates rather than sit home watching television yet again. Or lend money until payday, but there never is a payday.

The failed 'dates' all seem to revolve around money or first date sex and dump. But as I tell everyone, keep your wallet in your pants and keep your pants fastened around your waist and you will find someone.

Unlike the horror stories I have heard about match.com and eharmony.com EVERYONE who I have sent in that direction is currently with someone and happy (even after their mishaps). Not only that, they have remained friends with several non-love connections as well. Once you get past the trolls, the site seems to work well. Just remember my advice.

Trust me you will find someone. There are many many men out there at 'our' age who are looking at life as their second half and don't want to spend it alone. They are seriously looking to settle down and enjoy life with a good woman. Be open and trust in the possibilities. He IS out there looking for you too.

Everyone has heartbreak... It's just unfortunate that you invested 18 years into something that didn't end up working out. Due to all of that lost time, you might feel a little bit behind the game. However, you're still only 41... And you've had two long-term relationships. That's probably better than most. Yes, they both ended in heartbreak... But they say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Only time heals... You will meet someone else. You've proven that you can. So just keep your head up and keep looking. Certainly not EVERY guy you meet is looking to move internationally. That's just bad luck.

it sounds like you are a great woman and i'm surprised your boyfriend of two years didn't tie the knot and take you back to europe with him if the connection is as strong as you say.

i wouldn't give upon love but my 30 year old sister said something to me one day i thought was pretty strng. she told me that to her once someone is over 30 years old they are too old for boyfriends/ girlfriends in most cases. not implying they are too old to date but the ambitions of a person over 30 in a relationship should be different than for those under 30. a lot of people are learning and establishing themselves in their 20's by your 30's she felt you should seek a relationship that's built to last the rest of your lifetime if possible.

so i guess if i had any advice or had a question to ask it would be when you establish your purposes of dating with someone do you let them know you expect this to be forever? or do you let the relationship kind of just be? it's important to address that at the beginning if you want someone to love you long term let them know at the beginning so they can step up to the plate and hopefully fulfill your desires. otherwise really they are just a boyfriend and that as you know can be temporary and disturbed by circumstance. it also helps you and that person to know what the end goal of your relationship is .

Hey There Sue, you are perfect just as you are. Accept yourself for the wonderful, beautiful, intelligent and competent woman you know yourself to be. Fortunately you don't "have" to find a guy to be complete. You're already there. So you have the luxury of looking over the field. Sure, there aren't as many good guys out there at your age as there were available 20 years ago...but they're still out there waiting to be discovered. Don't you realize that there are men also looking, and they are looking for a woman just like you. Take the activities you enjoy, join a club or group where you will find men who also enjoy similar things. Take up some new things, like skiing, sailing, mountain biking, fishing, hunting, camping, wood working, welding. Do something that sounds good to you, like a lot of fun and keep your eyes open. And accept yourself as a complete human being, one who honors herself by the choices she makes in all things. Don't judge yourself, accept yourself as you are. You are complete and perfect.

Just be patient. There are so many superficial and empty people in the world that don't know how to recognize something wonderful. Fate has someone for you. Just be patient and do not try to rush life. You will be surprised one day when Mr Right comes into your life. In the meantime, have self confidence that you are worth this happiness in the future.

If I may, it's 5 years later.. Looking back to where you were at this point in your life, how did things work out for you? What did you learn? What is different?

Getyour Ex Back Permanently Forever - http://exback.gonaturallycured.com/

Yes, you made yourself a catch-able one, but are you the one who can be hook up with? Something like the one who can be stick with forever when somebody needs you or something. In other words, you are interesting at the first place but can you keep guys be interested at you at all times? God Bless!

Send me your phone number we should talk :). Seriously there is nothing wrong with you you just haven't met the right guy. Someone will come along and catch you and want to hold you forever so sometimes you just need a little patients.