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How can I set guidelines for how often my in-laws call or visit w/o upsetting them?
Right now they stop by (with little or no notice) 1-3 times a day and stay for an average of 1-5 hours per visit. They call my cell 3-12 times a day, in addition to calling my home number and my husband's cell.
The volume of visits and phone calls really interferes with our daily life, I cannot get things done. If I am not constantly entertaining them when they visit my mother-in-law will get upset and say I am being rude.
Honestly, I would not be okay with anyone visiting and calling that often. I feel like it really puts an added strain on an already uncomfortable relationship. I hope that by limiting the interaction we can get along better.
But they are very sensitive and my mother-in-law is the type of person you can't win with. So I need to say it in a way to where there is no way it can be taken as rude.
all great answers unfortunately none of them give me an easy way out. Looks like I have to be the bad guy no matter what.
Debunkingtherightwing- Your right it has made me more resentful of them. It seems these days I find myself getting irritated just listening to my mil eat and drink, though that's not a big issue and it is not something I would mention it just popped in my head when you said that because it is not normally something that would bother me about someone. I can definitely see how having bad in-laws can cause divorce because I have been very near it myself just because sometimes I think I can't go on this way forever.
Pearl L- I've tried it doesn't work. My fil wouldn't mind, he loves to help clean (although he is terrible at it). If I continue to clean when he is over he will start cleaning to keep talking to me but he also makes jokes about the house and my cleaning and organizational skills which I find someone rude. MIL would never do work around the house she doesn't even do anything at her own house (fil does all of the work).
Wintersnow- LOL. Can't move or do the padlocked gate.
3 Answers
- Anonymous10 years agoFavorite Answer
There is no way of accomplishing this. You will upset the in-laws, but you need to do it anyway or you’ll become more and more resentful of them as time goes on. It’s your life, your home, and they should have the sense to give you some space. It’s THEIR issue, not yours. And it’s your life.
I had a mother-in-law like that. I’m now divorced, and never been happier. :-)
- ?Lv 510 years ago
Looks like you need to move far away to another State. Seriously.
or try putting up a chain link fence, padlock the gate shut and get
a couple of very big, annoying mean dogs.
Tell them you only unlock the gate when You invite someone over
and expect them. Tell them you don't like unexpected visits and
are busy and have alot to do. Something has to give somewhere.
If they ask for a copy of your padlock key - that's going too far.
You could give them the wrong key. Or just tell them No you
don't want to do that. You like your privacy.
Stop being polite and start getting Real.
