How did childbirth affect your marriage/sex life?

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How did childbirth affect your marriage/sex life?

I just had a baby 6 weeks ago and my husband is having a very hard time with the transition and how it affects our sex life and relationship. We fight a lot, theres a lot of misunderstanding and frustration surging back and forth between us and I am at my wits end. I'm ranting here on yahoo bc...

There is a major emotional transition period after childbirth. For my husband and I, it lasted a few months...I think it was harder on him than on me though. We never had the issues you face thank God, but it absolutely does get better. He needs to respect you though, his behavior is ridiculous and sickening. My usual advice is to give it time because it really does become "normal" to be a parent and you sort of start to lose interest in the way life was before the baby :)...it also takes about a year for YOU to go back to "normal" ...however, HIS issues are pretty bad, he has no right to treat you that way, he needs to "shape up or ship out" as my grandma always used to say :P Maybe some relationship counseling? I'm sorry :(

Girl, listen ima tell you straight up! its sounds like to me that your giving a hundred and he's only given fifty and no relationship is gonna work like that. yeah guys need to have sex i get that so what? that's NOT juts what marriage is about, you get married because that persons your best friend nt just your soul mate, he may not understand you but he excepts you the way you are you can compromise, and it sounds like to me that somewhere along the way you lost that. Honey if your marriage Fails, it wont be because you didn't try and to me, it doesn't sound like it's failing, just-, but hey don't take that to heart, you cant be around some one like that that's just emotionally damaging to not only you but to your baby as well, look i don't care how you look, you are a PRIZE and you deserve someone to treat you like one. think about your first date or first time you had sex? is that Emotion still there, and i don't mean a little spark, **** that, i mean a roaring fire, and if its not you should tell him straight, leave )then come back) if he still doesn't change then leave for good, i know its scary but you have to do whats best for you and you baby as i said before if it doesn't work out, DO NOT think of it as your marriage has failed, maybe it will pass, but try leaving or shocking him and if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work follow your heart READ:Failing and Flying

by Jack Gilbert

Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.

It's the same when love comes to an end,

or the marriage fails and people say

they knew it was a mistake, that everybody

said it would never work. That she was

old enough to know better. But anything

worth doing is worth doing badly.

Like being there by that summer ocean

on the other side of the island while

love was fading out of her, the stars

burning so extravagantly those nights that

anyone could tell you they would never last.

Every morning she was asleep in my bed

like a visitation, the gentleness in her

like antelope standing in the dawn mist.

Each afternoon I watched her coming back

through the hot stony field after swimming,

the sea light behind her and the huge sky

on the other side of that. Listened to her

while we ate lunch. How can they say

the marriage failed? Like the people who

came back from Provence (when it was Provence)

and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.

I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell,

but just coming to the end of his triumph

He is a selfish jerk!!! Plain and simple. the way he is acting is despicable... Marriage isnt only about sex... If he loves you, really loves you, then sex shouldnt be the most importand thing in your relationship. If anything, it should be a bonus. You just had a baby, and he expects you to jump back like nothing happened. I just had my second child, and I was on bedrest for 2 months before she was born ad then of course there is the 6 weeks after... And my husband stood by me through all of it. We both waited until I was ready because that is what a loving, carign man does. Im not bragging, im just trying to show you that the way your husbadn is acting is NOT the way a loving husband should act towards his wife that just gave him a child.

Sweetie please forgive my bluntness but your husband is being a total and complete azz hole. And he is lying about everyone being back to normal after a baby. That's BS. What he was doing was akin to rape and nothing a loving husband should do to the women he loves and who has given him the gift of a child. Your pain is probably as much resentment for him, anger at him and disgust at his behavior as much as it being from child birth. I am so sorry and very sad. My first husband pressured me for sex no more than 2-3 weeks after I had both our babies but never told me if I didn't someone else would. He was not a good husband or good man and may have cheated but never told me as yours is doing. You have to decide if you can forgive him before you can even consider enjoying sex with him. if you can't talk to him about this you have a p big challenge. I can't tell you what to do but please think calming a out your needs and wants, not just his. Good luck to you, I wish you all the best.

I became soooo angry while reading this. You're husband needs to get his priorities straight. Either he waits for his wife to heal then get laid or he doesn't get laid at all. Marriage is about loyalty and working out issues like this. What he was doing to you is rape. If he becomes violent please call the police. He didn't have to go through all the pain of child birth. You did. He needs to conform to your needs instead of you conforming to his. Never put yourself in pain just to satisfy him. I'm going to tell you this right now: he does NOT deserve you. Considering cheating and raping you just because you're in pain after CHILD BIRTH and won't lay him is disrespectful and immature. There is nothing wrong with you. He needs serious help. He either needs to fix himself or pack his bags and leave. You and your child would be better off without a sorry excuse for a person like him.

Your husband and mine Sound exactly the same! I didn't have sex with him for three months after labor and he would fight me and said the exact things you mentioned. Talking to him about my feelings didn't work either unfortunately if you want him to stay and you love him your going to have to smile and just do it. At first i hated having to do this it wasn't enjoyable to me at all but after some time it was better and I found i was enjoying myself. It takes a bit of time to get back in the groove. You should be alright at 6 weeks to go for it the first couple times suck it hurts a lot it gets better I promise. I made a deal with my hubby that we would have adult time every couple days since I'm tired and have no energy and it's been going great.

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/yxS7o

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i waited till my wife said she was ready. This might sound odd since ive posted Qs here about my divorce issues but i will be honest. I was too busy with work and taking care of my daughter that i put it on the back burner. And i was worried because it might hurt her recovery. Mine had stitched from a epesiotomy?? Not a c-section. But still worried a lot. I dont know if helps but if it hurts you may have to be checked by Dr. I always believed good things come in time and patience...

Its harder for men to adjust I wasn't as sexual as my husband liked because as mothers we are drainedd but that is still no excuse to cheat or be a a** and don't let him get away with it. And never do anything your uncomfortable doing to satisfy him cause it sounds like its all about him and its not. I woukd say try cousiling or other options. Good luck