Forced to give away cats?

Question

It has been months, but I am grief striken. I am 20. The first instance was last July. My boyfriend and I went to a park where a bob tail tuxedo kitten wandered to us, and it was meant to be. 2 months later, his step dad said he decided he didn't want an animal living at his house anymore, and gave my boyfriend one week to re home him. Needless to say, that was not enough so we were forced to take the animal to a shelter. I was so upset that my boyfriend got me a pure white cat at another shelter to live at my house this time (we will finally be living together this august) and I was planning on of course taking the cat with me.

This cat was special, she had had several homes and had been abused in some ways. After a few months I took her to my boyfriends house while his parents were on a trip so he can be with her awhile. He decided he didn't like her and......he threw her out. It was horrible. He started with trying to pick her up to take her to his woods but she ran into the fireplace, he takes a broom and pokes at her, and she runs up a curtain covered in soot, he opens a door and pokes her out with the broom. The whole time I was screaming and crying in his room. Needless to say it was horrible and instead of coping, I've been becoming more grief stricken. He said he wasn't going to live with that cat one day and he as a college student isn't going to pay for a cat that doesn't love normally.

If my boyfriend doesn't love me so much I would leave him. He loves me so so much he also has other problems that contributed to his mental decision of abandoning this cat. I can't stop thinking of the first cat dying in a shelter and the second cat dying in the woods..

I'm at the point that next year I don't even want a cat. I'm haunted by what happened and don't know how to heal.

What can I do? How Can I forgive myself?

Moondog · Accepted Answer

With love comes respect.  This guy does not respect your feelings so I don't know why you think he  'loves you so much'.  He doesn't.  You'll be making a mistake if you live with him.

You'll learn that and I daresay a few more things if you move in with him.  For the love of God don't get any animals.  Two dead ones are two too many.  It's good that you don't want a cat when you live with this guy because I don't think another cat would have much chance of survival.

Why didn't you take the first cat instead of dumping it in the shelter? Obviously you were able to take a cat or the bf would not have got you the white cat.

How could you stay holed up in his room screaming and crying instead of helping the cat.  He was cruelly abusing your cat and you did nothing to help.  If my boyfriend did that  he would be an ex.  I have no time for animal abusers.

Ash · Answer

Honestly you are partially to blame. There was nothing stopping you from taking the cat out of that abusive situation or calling the police for animal abuse. That cat was a domestic indoor cat and most likely can't survive on its own for too long. It doesn't know how to hunt or stand the weather elements or protection. 
And he doesn't love you. When you get a little older you will see it. He is holding your emotions hostage and playing control games with your emotions. He is not going to change. And anyone who does such abusive things to animals has sick mental problems and needs to see a professional. You can't help him and your wasting your life in the mean time. I don't mean to sound harsh but you should never get another pet if you fail to care for it and protect it from abuse and provide medical attention when necessary.

Ken S · Answer

Lives are at stake and apparantly not worth much to you as to people like you, they are only animals.
You can point blame to your boyfriend and inlaws ect but that is not where it lives. These poor animals are a 230 year responsibility and you can't handle it for 2 months. I don't really care  if or how you forgive yourself. I just hope you don't get any more animals again

CanadianPerspective · Answer

Your selfish BF Is emotionally abusing you and is putting his needs above yours. I am not convinced he 'loves you' as it sounds more like he's trying to control you through manipulating you. Honestly, if I was single (happily married) and I had a BF who was cold-hearted enough to abuse an innocent animal, I'd give that asshole the boot because the next thing he will be doing this to is you. This BF of yours obviously doesn't have your best interest at heart. This is a huge red-flag you should be listening to, good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Boyfriend = POS
You = professional victim
Neither of you should own animals.

Shakira · Answer

What a absolute **** if he loved you he would accept the cat end of. As for you, grow a pair.

Mr. Smith · Answer

I would suggest never getting a cat, or any pet again while your with this guy. 

The end.

jane · Answer

I agree with Justin.

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Forced to give away cats?

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