I have a co-worker that comes in with black eyes .?

Question

I have a co-worker that comes in with black eyes, scratches, all marked up .There hasn't been a week were he has not been beat up.My co-worker cant be a minute late home.If so I can hear the yelling from the street ,when dropped off.Other co-workers laugh at the situation .I feel really bad for him.I tell him to cal the cops on his wife and he says no.He said the neighbors called before.When she saw them coming .She rammed her head against the wall.  Told the cops he did it.He was the one that got taken in.Is there a shelter or somewhere he can go with his kids.I've seen him crying at work.I hope he don't hurt himself.He is not the only guy that I known of that suffers domestic violence.None of the guys do anything about it ....WHY???

CDT · Accepted Answer

Men suffering from domestic abuse do nothing because abuse against men is constantly down played and doubted. There's the stereotype of men being big and strong...while women are soft and gentle. Some people think there's no possible way a women could abuse a man.

And then there are the people who sometimes pick on men for allowing a woman to abuse them.


What they don't take into account is that most men are taught from childhood to never hit a woman. So how are they to protect themselves? That lesson is so ingrained in them.

Those two reasons are why domestic violence against men is rarely reported.


If he wants out, he needs to stand up for himself and get out. Nobody but him can help him.

cosmo girl · Answer

Some men think that if they show any signs of weakness, then they are not man enough.  There are shelters that take in families with children (male or female). Look in your local phone directory for shelters in your area.

Also someone can unanimously call children protective services and tell them the mother is abusing the kids and husband (physically and mentally).  They are forced to look into the matter.

Mama Mia · Answer

Go to your boss and tell them what you know and ask them to talk to human resources or the health team about what is going on . Spousal abuse is a crime and his wife is probably mentally ill. He is probably terrified of leaving the children in her care and knows that if he takes the brunt of her anger, the kids won't. All you can do is try to be supportive and remind him that the kids are in danger too and that his wife must be mentally disturbed. Ask him to get help from a counselor or from the health plan because you are afraid for his life and mental welfare and that this has got to stop.

I · Answer

All good points.  I have never been physically abused by women but definitely abused by women because it was drilled into my head to respect women and the lesson was outdated for today's women.  I was not taught how to command respect from women in the right way or the wrong way so that left me vulnerable. Even so it's still pretty hard for me to see how a guy can allow himself to be physically abused.  But it does exist.

? · Answer

This is very sad.
BUT ... he is not stuck in that situation, and as unhappy as he is, he is not leaving it.  He IS responsible for himself.
He is also responsible for his children.  They should NOT be exposed to that.
But HE has to want to help himself and his kids.

the men ... they laugh because they too are uncomfortable but men don't face their feelings very well.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't buy your story, I think you may be full of poopy.

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I have a co-worker that comes in with black eyes .?

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